Morning Seditionists

Looks like we got us a new war to watch on the teevee. Well, not really a new one, but President Obama’s got his first “major military operation” in the works in Afghanistan. This, of course, is a big moment for a president. Kind of the equivalent of a bar mitzvah or something. Makes you feel proud, in a Red, White and Blue Fourth of July kinda way, doesn’t it? And word just in is that one of our soldiers was captured. That aint good. But I’m sure Obama can expect oodles of support from our GOP friends, what with anything less than complete support and subservience to the Commander in Chief being tantamount to treason. (more…)

This just in, Al Franken refuses to take the oath of office on a bible, and is insisting on using the Torah instead. OK, not really, but I figure it’s a good rumor to start, what with the whole Keith Ellison Koran thing. Interesting story on the creature from Wasilla in Vanity Fair. The poor Republicans are all in a tizzy over it. (more…)

Yesterday really sucked. Had a bunch of shit go wrong that had me working until 12:30 AM (way past my bedtime, even on weekends). Things are are still wrong, and I need to try and get an early start and get into the office as soon as I can. So, this will be brief: Life sucks, and then you die. Unless you’re rich, in which case things are pretty good (relatively speaking), and then you die. If you’re rich and famous, well, watch out. June’s a killer.

And so, the clock runs out on another weekend as we near the last day of what has been one of the deadliest months for celebrities in recent memory. I don’t know if that’s actually true, but it feels like it’s true, and that’s all that matters (I’d use the word “truthiness,” but I was reading a review of the Ford Fiesta in Automobile Magazine - yeah, I get that for free for some reason; don’t ask me why, as I really don’t much care about cars, but I’m kind of a free magazine whore, and when they offer, I just take ‘em - and they said that “truthiness” was a “Generation Y” word, so I guess I can’t use it. It makes me wonder what comes after Generation Z, though). (more…)

On Press the Meat today it’s David Axelrod, Mitt and his Magic Underpants, and creepy little closet queen, Lindsey Graham. Then at the roundtable, it’s Republican scumbags David Brooks and Mike Murphy, plus the Washington Post’s E.J. Dionne, and Dee Dee Myers. (more…)

So, the House barely passed a less than comprehensive (but better than nothing, which is about all we can expect these days) energy bill yesterday. Roll Call Vote here, if you want to check up on your Congress critter. Basically, it went this way: 82% of the House Democrats voted for it, 94% of the Republicans voted against it. Three of our “representatives” were apparently too busy mourning Michael Jackson to bother voting (or maybe there were “taking a hike”). As for addressing climate change, this all means basically nothing since, as we all learned on School House Rock, the Senate now needs to pass their own version of this bill - the American Clean Energy Leadership Act, which was marked up in and reported out of the Committee on Energy and Natural Resources by a vote of 15-8 on June 17th. Environmentalists and scientists are not impressed. But, even to get this thing through, counting Joe Lieberman and Bernie Sanders as Democrats (which, in my opinion, is a slur against Bernie Sanders), then any Senate bill would require roughly 102% of Democrats to vote for cloture. Since, even on a good day, the best you can count on is maybe 83% of Democrats, we need to get at least 27% of Republicans, which will be done by further weakening an already crappy bill. Get ready for more nuke plants, “clean” coal facilities, corn subsidies, oil drilling in ANWR, logging in National Parks, and helicopter wolf hunting. Or perhaps I’m just being pessimistic? (more…)

This just in: Michael Jackson is still dead.

I think all you celebrities need to lay low for the rest of this month. It’s dangerous out there. I saw on the teevee that vigils are being held worldwide for the beloved Michael Jackson. OK, I guess. I feel bad for the guy, but never really got the appeal (to me, he peaked with “Ben”). I mean, it’s not like John Lennon just got shot. One mourner outside Jackon’s LA residence (who didn’t even bother to take the cell phone out of her ear while being interviewed) said, “my goodness, it’s just like a modern day Elvis Presley dying.” Uh, I know Elvis died a while ago, but I’m pretty sure 1977 still counts as the “modern day.” (more…)

All day yesterday, I thought it was Thursday. What a bummer to find out it was only Wednesday. Plus, it’s too goddamn hot and humid. And deer fly season is upon us. This is why I prefer winter.

So, Mark Sanford came out and cried because he got caught having an affair. Boo frickin’ hoo. I personally couldn’t give a crap what he does or whether his Stepford wife’s meds wore off and she kicked him the hell out of the house. Yeah, every time my wife finds out about my affairs, I go running to Argentina w/o leaving a forwarding address, and spend a few days “crying.” Hey, fer crissakes, be a man about it Marky Mark. You betray your wife and kids, you stand there and take your medicine without blubbering like a little baby. You didn’t see Eliot Spitzer cry. (more…)

The US continues to win hearts and minds in Pakistan, one funeral at a time. Oh, those pesky drones.

Bad news for you Coast to Coast AM fans: the first guy to ever see the Lizard Man was murdered. This is clearly a government conspiracy, on par with Obama being a Vulcan, chemtrails, and the Twin Towers being wired for demolition by the government. And I just heard a black helicopter fly over (yes, I can tell what color it is just from the sound). Wake up, America! (more…)

What with the train crash yesterday, all the shit going on in Iran, the SC governor AWOL, and our Governor grounding all the members of the NY State Senate (they’re not allowed to go out at all - not on weekends, and not even on the Fourth of July - but my guess is the only legislation they’ll pass is a bill to pay State Senators overtime for being called in to special sessions), the big news this morning is that two people I don’t know and really don’t give a crap about who apparently have eight kids and a “reality” teevee show, are separating. (more…)