Or, as my wife will no doubt say, “oh, is that today?”

Anyhow, like most regular Americans, I didn’t get much sleep last night, because I was tossing and turning over the sad news that Sheryl Crow and Lance Armstrong have broken up (all she wanted to do was have some fun :hubba:).

Isn’t there anything out there to help us get some sleep…? :billcat:

Yes! It’s the Sunday talking head shows! This week’s theme: Republicans only.

First, on Press the Meat, Timmy “Potoatohead” Russet shows us his Boehner, and then Arlen Specter drops by to show us that, other than doing whatever the Kristian Konservatives want him to do, he’s a true moderate. Oh, and some asshole from the Wall Street Journal will be there, too.

Faze the Nation will discuss how spying on Americans is actually a good thing, and then recap our bold leader’s glorious SOTU address (or is that, our glorius leader’s bold SOTU address?), with Alabama Senator Jefferson Beau “I say” Beauregard Sessions III (who wanted to capitalize on Hurricane Katrina to rejuvenate his bill to premanently repeal the estate tax, passionately opposed John McCain’s anti-torture amendment – and now supports Dick Cheney’s proposal to exempt the CIA from the torture ban – unsuccessfully prosecuted three civil rights workers on bullshit charges of voter fraud- they were acquitted in four hours – and once labeled the NAACP and ACLU as “un-American,” and “Communist-inspired,” saying they “forced civil rights down the throats of people.”), and Senator Pat Leahy. Hey, how’d Leahy get on? Didn’t Schieffer get the memo? They’ll also have David “Asshole” Brooks from the NY Times, and Karen Tumulty, from Time.

This Week, George Snufalufagus has Ken “I’m not gay” Mehlman on to tell us that Republicans aren’t really a bunch of amoral, unethical, corrupt criminals, and, even if they are, the Democrats are too, so there. Plus, Gen. Michael “Elmer J. Fudd” Hayden will be on to tell us how he plans to lie to the Senate Judiciary Committee on the domestic spying program he designed at the NSA when hearings begin on Monday. Oh, and Olympic gymnast Dominique Dawes will be on because apparently there’s nothing important happening in the world. And of course there’s always ABC’s axis of drivel, Sam Donaldson, Cokie Roberts and George Will.

Fux News Sunday with Chris “Oedipus Wrecks” Wallace does the big work (as usual), investigating whether the outing of the NSA spying program helped the terrorists. Then they, too, pull a Boehner, trot out Gen. Elmer Hayden on to work on his lies some more, and then Surgeon General Richard “Who?” Carmona will be on to tell us, um, whatever.

If you’re still awake after all that, I suggest you start drinking heavily. :alc: