As usual, Press the Meat spends the entire hour giving us gas – but this week they’ve got Secretary of Energy Samuel Bodman (to tell us how shocked – shocked I say – the administration is that the oil companies are making even more obscene profits than usual, and that if they don’t reinvest those profits into alternative fuel research, dubya will be sending them a sternly worded letter), American Petroleum Institute President & CEO Red Cavaney (to tell us that any first-year marketing student can tell you it’s all about supply and demand, and of course retiring Exxon-Mobil CEO Lee Raymond deserves a $400 million retirement package – I mean, the man’s got the worst toupee in the oil industry), CNBC’s Jim “Mad Money” Cramer, Dick “Thanks for having my back on Gitmo, Barack” Durbin, and NBC’s “Global Energy Analyst” Daniel Yergin. If only they could bottle all the hot air on this show today, maybe the price of gas could drop a couple pennies.

Over at Fazed the Nation, Bob “Claudia” Schieffer surrounds himself with women, as he hosts the lizard woman herself, Condaleeza “Lacerta” Rice, plus Sen. Maria Cantwell of Washington, and Lisa “feel free to stick your drill into my refuge” Murkowski, oil company whore and Senator from Alaska.

On “This Weak” with George Snufalufagus, it’s the return of the lizard woman, plus Chuck Schumer, oil industry whore Bennett Johnston, and George Clooney trying to convince somebody that, yes, even if it’s only black people, it still counts as genocide.

On Fux News Sunday, it’s new and improved White House COS Joshua “Michael” Bolten, plus professional liar and new White House lying hypocrite Tony Snow (I wonder if they even bothered to take him off the Fox payroll).

Over on CNN’s “Late Edition” yes, you guessed it, the lizard woman makes yet another appearance, plus Trent Lott (whose hair alone could save a million barrels of oil a day) and Barbara Boxer. Then CNN apparently gets Jon Stewart’s leftovers, as former Mossad director Efraim “Zimbalist” Halevy and former CIA Director James Woolsey (who my IR professor – a former career diplomat – used to say looked like he ate puppies for breakfast) will yuck it up over the old days.

Later, on 60 Minutes, it has to be the show of the year, as Morley Safer interviews Stephen Colbert. Also, Lesley Stahl is lethal and leaking. Oh, wait, it’s actually a site along the Columbia River in Hanford, Washington with 53 million gallons of radioactive waste buried in old underground tanks that have already leaked 1 million gallons into the ground, some of it headed straight for the Columbia River. Apparently this waste is so lethal that just a cupful of it could kill everyone in a crowded restaurant, in minutes. Maybe they can get Colin Powell to hold up a vial of it. Also, Ed Bradley does a story on the Priory of Scion (must be Viacom has a piece of the Da Vinci Code movie). My advice, come for the nuclear waste, but stay for the Colbert.

On the West Wing, we’re down to the final three episodes, and it looks like Santos will choose Arnie Vinick to be his new VP (as predicted right here by sbluefox – I think we need to work out a deal for writing credits). And, of course, on the Sopranos, “Tony is tempted by a real-estate offer; Vito is wowed by an act of heroism; AJ looks to ‘diversify.'” Poor Vito. I hope he can stay in New Hampshire and settle down with that nice antique shop guy.

Enjoy your Sunday, everybody. I got a final to study for.