Well, here we go again. Today on Press the Meat, everybody’s favorite potatohead has an all Republican lineup, with the Lizard Queen herself, Condi Rice, on to talk about how we’re only gonna attack Iran as a last resort (if the poll numbers improve, we might just put off the invasion). But of course the big news will no doubt be the marvelous cabinet selection in Iraq – well, except for the Secretaries of the Interior and Defense (which are supposed to be responsible for the country’s security), but how important could they be? Then it’s cracker vs. cracker, as Charlie Norwood of GA, and Lindsey “Fru Fru” Graham of SC debate the most important issue in the whole wide world (except for gay marriage, of course), immigration.

On This Weak with George Snufalufagus, it’s the torture man, Alberto Gonzales (who, interestingly enough, is “unclear” on how his grandparents got to the country), on to tell us what a great guy he thinks Gen. Hayden is, and how those godless Mexicans (that would be the ones aren’t in his own family) need to be kept the hell out of the country (unless they can be exploited as chaep labor, of course). Then it’s John Edwards, on to talk about education, and maybe the 2008 election. At the roundtable, it’s Token Zakaria, Cokie “Bitch” Roberts, and of course, George :jerk: Will. Then an old favorite – John Walsh – is on to talk about how he’s pushing Congress to protect missing kids. Shouldn’t that have been done a long time ago?

Over at Faze the Nation, it’s another appearance from the Marque de Gonzales, Dianne “Traitor” Feinstein of CA, and just plain fucking crazy James Sensenbrenner of WI. Maybe Sensenbrenner can get to the bottom of Alberto’s grandparents immigration status.

Over at CNN, it’s international day, with Israeli PM Ehud Olmert, Australian PM John Howard, the guy with the glamor job (U.S. ambassador to Iraq), Zalmay Khalilzad, and Feisal Istrabadi, Iraq’s deputy ambassador to the United Nations. Plus it’s Chuck “Im simply outraged by all this spying” Hagel of Nebraska, and Ron Wyden of Oregon.

On Fux News Sunday, Chris “The Weasel” Wallace has the Lizard Woman, plus “Maverick” McCain, on to show how tough he was, standing up to all those goddamn liberal kids at the New School.

Later, on 60 Minutes, Mike Wallace looks back on what a huge disappointment his asshole son Chris has been, as well as some other moments from his 237 years in broadcasting.

The West Wing is gone, and in it’s place NBC has part two of an earthquake disaster movie. :yawn: Then, it’s the season finale of just about everything else, including the Sporanos.

Enjoy your Sunday.

Counting down the weekends left here in my own home, but I’ll try not to bitch too much, since I know this is Mr FK’s last weekend at home before heading back to Baghdad (where today’s forecast calls for clear skies, and a high of 100, with an overnight low of 78). Oh, I know he’ll just be hanging out on his hotel balcony with Laura Ingraham, but still, it’s a long way from home – and sometimes it’s hard to find enough crushed ice to make a decent martini.

So it turns out that, despite having Idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis, diabetes, recovering from a stroke, almost dying in 1999 from Hepatitis C and a liver transplant, and something like 40 broken bones, Evel Knievel isn’t dead yet (hate to say it, but that picture looks kinda like Malloy). Go figure. I coulda sworn he was dead (Evel, not Mike).

In other news, no Rove indictment and no Jimmy Hoffa (unless they dug him up late last night or early this morning – I haven’t looked yet), but maybe – just maybe, we’ve captured one of the “top” Taliban commanders, Mullah Dadullah. This would be the highest ranking military chief since Mullah Magilla Gorilla was captured with Mullah Dummah N’dummah.

Enjoy your Saturday.

OK, anybody out there with a Sigg Metro Mug? If so, tell me how it’s supposed to work. There’s a two-piece cap that unscrews, and presumably you’d take the top part of the cap off, and be able to sip your beverage of choice. Well, there’s a little rubber plug in there, so I pulled that out, then filled it up with coffee, and proceeded to shoot a very small, high velocity – and extermemely hot – stream of coffee directly to the roof of my mouth (where there is now a rather painful blister). Somehow, I don’t think it’s supposed to work this way. Now, I’ve never claimed to be the sharpest tool in the shed, but this is the first time a coffee mug has ever stumped me, so if you have any ideas, let me know.

Oh, and happy Friday.

Well, the bachelor life continues. I may actually have to go grocery shopping today. Either that, or start eating the cats, :billcat: but my wife would probably notice them missing when I got back. No Rove indictment yesterday – I’m starting to wonder if there’ll ever be one. Maybe it’s better to keep all this hanging over their heads for a while, anyway. Oh well, I’d better go look at the news, and see if they found Jimmy Hoffa yet.

Another day, another another poll, another new low for the war president. You’d have to think he’s hit bottom by now, but maybe Karl Rove will actually get indicted this week. I certainly hope so, at least for Truthout’s credibility, if nothing else. One thing I know for sure, though – this sleeping alone stuff really sucks. It’s gonna be a loooooong summer.

Well, I have to admit I didn’t listen to Jorge “El Decisivo” Arbusto last night because, well I just can’t stand listening to him. He makes me squirm with embarassment. Plus, he’s a piece of shit liar who is building the infrastructure to crush his critics, stifle dissent, and install himself as emperor. Can it be long before Congress passes its own version of the Enabling Act – oh, excuse me, the ‘Law for Removing the Distress of the People and the Reich?’

“The government will make use of these powers only insofar as they are essential for carrying out vitally necessary measures…The number of cases in which an internal necessity exists for having recourse to such a law is in itself a limited one.”

Bush on NSA spying? No, Hitler promising he would use his new powers with restraint.

Where’s Otto Wells when you need him?

Well, this is the last day my wife and I will be together for a while (if you can call having her up and out to work at the crack of dawn, and probably not back until late tonight – at which point she’ll probably be packing – being together), as she heads off to a conference and to see her daughters in Minneapolis. We’ll only have a few days together when she gets back (most of which she’ll be working), and then I’ll be off to DC until August. I must admit, I’m not especially crazy about the whole thing (especially the part where I’ll be away from home for two and a half months). In fact, I think it really fucking sucks. But, whattya gonna do? 🙁

Hey, Happy Mother’s Day to all you mothers out there.

As a special treat, Press the Meat has an “exclusive,” with a meathead being interviewed by a potatohead as Timmy takes on the Newt. I wonder if Newt will change his tune on the latest NSA spying scandal, or if the White House has gotten to him? Then Wall St. Journal hack John Harwood, “Liberal” John Meachem (who referred to Russ Feingold as a ‘sane’ Howard Dean), and rightwing shill (and apparent Botox addict) Judy Woodruff get together to talk about how it’s OK for the NSA to keep track of every phone call ever made in the USA. Hell, they caught Moussaoui, didn’t they?

Over at Fazed the Nation, it’s, well, it’s apparently a secret. Hey, CBS, if you need a web guy to update your frickin’ FTN web page, let me know; I work cheap.

Over at This Weak, George Snufalufagus has Joe Biden and Chuck Hagel on to talk about the NSA’s spying (I, for one, would like to know how we got 250 million Al Qaeda operatives in this country, and we’re going to do about them), then it’s – get this – “feminist and mother” Laura “Lithium” Bush, and, if you haven’t puked yet, they’ll also have another mother, Reese Witherspoon. Then it’s time to see if a bunch of square pegs can fit around a round table, with David “Douchebag” Brooks, Donna “Please don’t hire her if you run again Al” Brazile and, of course, George :jerk: Will.

Over at Fux News Sunday, Chris “Weaselface” Wallace gives us another heapin’ helping of the First Stepford Lady, and then Mary Cheney will be on to tell John Kerry to go fuck himself.

On CNN it’s, oh, hell, who gives a shit what’s on CNN?

Later, on 60 Minutes, Steve Kroft talks to the Dixie Chicks, Lesley Stahl features SEIU President Andy Stern, and Dan Rather says Brazil is off imported oil, so why the hell aren’t we?

It’s a sad moment (IMHO), as the best president of the past 8 years leaves office, as NBC shows both the first and last shows of the West Wing. There are those who say the show isn’t as good as it used to be, but even if it’s true, it’s bound to be better then I Wanna Date a Millonaire, or I Wanna Be a Fucking Rock Star, or whatever crap that’ll probably replace it.

Have a happy mudda’s day.

Ah, another weekend is upon us. No trips to Canada this weekend, so I think I’ll spend the day at a pay phone, calling up Republicans and saying “praise Allah, the party is on for Tuesday. Death to the infidels!” Now, if I can just find my Farsi-English/English-Farsi dictionary.

Well, my crazy next door neighbor is back in town and cutting the grass twice a day, so the weekend must be here. I almost – almost – went out and did something last night, since the IST Graduate Organization had its end of the year party last night, but then I decided I didn’t really feel like it. I thought about calling up a couple of my classmates to see if they were going, but some of them are foreign students, and I didn’t know how that would look on my “phone pattern.” I need to get a book on using smoke signals or something. I wonder if the Telcos – Verizon, in my case – realize that they appear to have violated the Stored Communications Act, which provides for legal fees and a minimum of $1,000 per violation. Let’s see, one grand times tens of millions of customers, that adds up to about eleventy million bazillion dollars, give or take. Good thing they’ll be able to screw everybody once net neutrality is officially scrapped.