Okay, explain to me again why I give a shit that Nicole Kidman married Keith Urban (whoever that is)? I mean, they were rumored to be gonna get married, they were gonna get married, they were gonna get married any day now, and now they’re frickin’ married. Well, whoopdie freakin’ doo, man. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I hope they’ll be happy and he won’t turn into a crazy fuckin’ scientologist or something, but I barely care when somebody I actually know gets married, I sure as hell don’t care when strangers do it. Then I’m checking out of the grocery store, and I see she’s got a “bump.” Oh, fer crissakes. Now they’ll be relentless with that shit until she has puppies.

Look, unless one or both of ’em comes out and says we need to pull out of Iraq as soon as possible, and oh, by the way Bush & Cheney should be impeached (and convicted), and damnit it’s about time the Marc Maron Show was syndicated, well then goddamn it, I don’t wanna hear from or about them.

But, anyways, I suppose today will mark the start of another week filled with nasty things directly screwing with our right to life, liberty, and the presuit of happiness being overshadowed by a whole lotta stupid shit about celebrity babies, demoted goats (OK, I thought that one was funny, especially the guy who said Billy the Goat “was trying to headbutt the waist and nether regions of the drummers”), and bimbos battling aboard JetBlue.

Oh well, whatever happens this week – reported on or not – I hope, by the end of it, y’all find yourself a little bit closer to that whole happiness thing.