Had some problems with my internets yesterday, but the dude from Time Warner hooked me up, and RoadRunner is even faster than it used be, so it looks like I’m all set to obsess on the election for the next few days (maybe even longer, depending on how things go). Speaking of obsessing on the election, whattya suppose the boobleheads have in store for us today?

It’s about a week late for Halloween, but that won’t stop Timmy Potatohead from  having one scary goodamn show, as he hosts an “exclusive” with all four campaign committee chairs.  Yes, it’s the return of Chuckie and Liddy, plus Lame Rahm Emmanuel and Terrible Tom Reynolds.  But hey, you New York City viewers are in luck, as WNBC will air coverage of the NYC Marathon instead.  If you actually wanna see these yo-yos, you’ll need to stay up until Midnight or so – until after football and local news.  Somehow, I don’t think this worth being tired on Monday morning.

Over at Faze the Nation, it’s more midterm elections, with Bill the catkiller Frist and Senator MBNA, Joe Biden.  Plus, Bush booby Bobby Scieffer also has Stuey Rothenberg, on to tell us who’s gonna win, and what excuses he’ll be using on Wednesday after he was wrong.

Speaking of hollow weenies, over at Fux News Sunday, Fuxface Chrils Wallace pulls a Boehner, and then he and empty suit Michael Steele will tag team Missouri Senate Candidate Claire McCaskill (I wonder if they’ll ask her why she and Michael J Fox hate unborn babies).

Over on the Goebbels network, it’s the disgusting cyborg himself, Darth Cheney, on to snarl and sneer and no doubt tell us that if the Democrats win, it’ll be the end of the world as we know it (which, come, to think of, might not be such a bad thing).  Then George Snufalufagus goes “one-on-one” with Howard :omg: Dean.  Plus, it’s a bunch of square pegs at the roundtable, with George :jerk: Will, Gore campaign mastermind, Donna Brazille, and Republican lackey (and major league hack) Mark Halperin.  Looks like I’ll be staying the course on my ABC boycott.

Over at Wolf Blitzer’s Late Emission, it’s – you guessed it – election talk, with little Petey Hoekstra, Maxine Waters, limp Lindsey Graham, Barbara Boxer, Iraq’s Deputy Prime Minister, Barham Salih (maybe he can give us some advice on how to run an election), Max Cleland, Lucky Louie Dobbs, the Cook Report’s Amy Walter, Time schmuck, Joe Klein, Barney Frank, Candy Cow – oops I mean, Crowley, John King, Dana Bash, and Bob “call me Al” Franken.  Jeezus H. Khrist, Wolfie – you think if you have 500 guests on, nobody will notice you suck?

Later, on 60 Minutes, for some unknown reason, Steve “sealsen” Kroft interviews Russell freakin’ Crowe (why?), Bob Simon reports on Bangladeshis who risk their lives for a dollar a day, scrapping old ships, and Morley Safer talks to some Republican Flake from Arizona.

Of course, what’s really important today is the Simpson’s Tree House of Horror XVII (seventeen years?  when did that happen?  come to think of it, when did it get to be f*ckin’ November already?), plus all new (as they say) episodes of the Family Guy and American Dad.  Then you can go back to obsessing about the election.