Well, I was gonna get the Xmas cards out yesterday. Honest. But there was only one problem; I don’t know where we keep the Xmas cards. So, not much I can do until somebody provides me with that information, is there? I really wish I had one of those signing machine things that Rummy used to send out the “Dear <insert name here>, thanks for letting us use your <son> <daughter> < father> <mother> <husband> <wife> <sister> <brother> <other> as cannon fodder, in service of our glorious leader” notifications. That would come in pretty handy. Plus, I could contract the job out to Haliburton or something.

I set up a database one year that included personalized greetings. Printed the envelopes, and the message right on the cards – including my personal signature. Took me about 10 times longer than it would have just to write the goddamn things out myself, but it was pretty cool. So, I was able to achieve an impersonal look, at the cost of hundreds of hours of labor. Pretty good. The hard part was measuring all the cards to get the damn things to print out right. Imagine if I actually had friends! Anyhow, I’m starting to think the e-cards are really the environmentally friendly way to save the trees and all that.

Don’t forget (and I know you won’t), day two of Maron on the Sam Seder Show.