Finally, the big day has arrived. What wonderful and inspiring words has the decider decided on for tonight? Mission to Mars, switchgrass, tax cuts for the rich, stay the course, sanctity of stem cells, we come in peace, shoot to kill, shoot to kill, shoot to kill, we come in peace, beam me up Barney….

Well, whatever his majesty has to say, one thing’s for sure. I won’t be watching the miserable lying bastard. After all, it’s Tuesday night, and Dead Like Me is on.