Hey, get up! It’s an hour later than you think it is.
I used to love this day, back when I was movie theatre manager/projectionist. When unsuspecting people would come to buy a ticket for the one o’clock show, you got to tell them that it started an hour ago. Then when they got all indignant and snotty, you could tell ’em, “uh, ever hear about daylight savings time, dude? It was, like, in all the papers.” Hah! Take that, ignorant, demanding, snotty consumers. Now you see the genius in my not changing the clock in my car last year!
Fortunately for you, if you’ve forgotten to set your clocks ahead, all you’ve missed out on is another round of the Sunday Boobleheads.
On Press the Meat, Timmuh has an “Exclusive!” with U.S. Ambassador to Iraq, Zalmay Khalilzad on the conference between the U.S., Iraq, Iran and Syria. Then, it’s a discussion about the “political fallout” over Walter Reed & the Libby verdict (because destroying a career CIA person working on WMD and having our wounded soldiers sit around in rat infested, urine soaked living conditions is, after all, all about politics) with presidential historian Michael Beschloss (who once wrote, “More than any other leader…save Eisenhower, Bush based his…campaigns for the presidency…on his persona as a leader of experience and character” – hah! Not that Bush; the old one), Time’s Michael Duffy (who, after the last election, declared that Republicans lost because they found themselves “spending like drunken Democrats“), fellow SU alum, Ted Koppel & one of the ever-narrowing field of WaPost (indeed, of all the traditional media) reporters that don’t suck, Dana Priest.
Over at Faze the Nation, Bush Buddy Booby Schieffer hosts another chat on Walter Reed and Scooter Libby (hey, how about they sentence him to ten years of changing bedpans for the VA) with senators Chuck Schumer, tough-talkin’, do-nothing Arlen Specter, and Claire McCaskill of Missouri.
At Fux News Sunday, with the growing realization that all the Republican candidates for president suck the big one, is it time to go to the bullpen and pull out NYC DA Arthur Branch (aka, former senator – and head of Scooter Libby’s defense fund – Fred Thompson)? After all, he’s got what Americans are looking for in a politician (they’ve seen him on the teevee). Then Weaselface Wallace will try and undercut Democrats by hosting the founder of the “Out of Iraq” Caucus in the House, Maxine Waters. Kick his ass, Maxine (and get Patty and LaVerne to help you).
Over at the Goebbels network, George Snufalufagus boasts an exclusive with Senator Jim Webb, who will talk about why we need to bring our troops back home, and why they shouldn’t have to live in filthy squalor when they get back here. In another “exclusive,” it’s co-chair of the Walter Reed cover-up commission, Bob Dole (who is looking more and more like the Phantom of the Opera – the Lon Chaney one, not that stupid Andrew Lloyd Webber crap. To quote Roger Waters, “Andrew Lloyd Webber sickens me. Phantom Of The Opera is absolutely fucking horrible from start to finish”). Then, at the Roundtable, it’s former Pentagon disinformation specialist (and Mary Matalin gal-pal), Torie Clarke, David Corn of The Nation, Fareed “token” Zakaria and, just in case things accidentally get exciting, George :jerk: Will. Finally, we’ll hear from Loretta Lynn, who looks nothing like Sissy Spacek (BTW, if you haven’t seen “Missing,” with Sissy and Jack Lemmon, you should really go out and rent it).
Over at CNN, it’s a very wet Late Emission from Wolf Blitzer, with the Iraqi Foreign Minister, Hose Your Zebra Hoshyar Zebari, Sen. Joe “yeah, you got a fuckin’ chance of getting elected president” Biden, Senator Lindsey “Cracker” Graham, of South Carolina, former Arkansas Governor and “presidential candidate” (in the fantasy world where he runs against Biden, and Ralph Nader gets more than 3% of the vote) Huckleberry Huckabee, CNN Senior Political hack (and “fellow” at the Konservative American Enterprise Institute) Bill Schneider, mastermind of Al Gore’s brilliant campaign for president in 2000, Donna Brazile, and former Bush propagandist, David “axis of evil” Frum (yet another American Enterprise Institute asshole).
Later, on 60 Minutes, Bob Simon reports on the wonderful coal industry and the widows its miners leave behind, Scott Pelley reports on the Iraqi translators and other people who have helped out the US since the occupation, and what happens to them (basically, they and their families get killed as collaborators, and of course the US won’t allow them to get the hell out and come here). Then Lesley Stahl takes a look at Dr. Steven Hatfill, who the FBI tried to finger for the Anthrax attacks (because they are apparently pretty clueless as to who might have actually done it), and who is now suing the bastards (which is how we have come to find out just how clueless they are).
And then there’s the usual Sunday night lineup, capped off, of course, by a new episode of Battlestar Galactica. Enjoy your Sunday – it’s a short one.