So, tonight I have to go to class, which is the last class I’ll ever have to attend. Unless I’m somehow stupid enough to ever put myself through this again, which is pretty fucking doubtful. Even better, I don’t have to do anything but sit through a bunch of other people’s presentations. Of course, I still have my final, final project to complete, so I guess I’d better get crackin’.

Another Sunday, another batch of talking heads. I can hardly wait.

First off, on Press the Meat, it’s an MBNA kinda day, as Timmy Potatohead hosts Joe Biden as part of Timmuh’s “Meet the Candidate” series. An hour of Joe and Tim. Oy.

Over at CBS, Bush Buddy Bobby Schieffer hosts the Lizard Queen, Condi Rice (no time to answer Congressional subpoenas, but plenty of time to spread the , plus Jack Murtha. I hope they’re on together, and Murtha smacks her. Just don’t hit her in the hair, Jack, or you’ll break every bone in your hand.

On Fux News Sunday, Weaselface Wallace hosts the soulless John McCain, and his Stepford wife, Cindy, on to talk about McCain’s illegitimate black baby.

Over at the Goebbels Network, George Snufalufagus gets himself a little lizard action (maybe Congress should have her appear on Sunday, when she apparently has all kinds of time to appear), Kansas nutjob, Sam Bareback Brownback, and Russ “the man” Feingold. At the roundtable, it’s Fareed “Token” Zakaria editor, graduate of the NPR school of hackery, Martha Raddatz and the ever-smug yet dull George :jerk: Will. And then Natalie Portman will be on to talk about micro-loans.

Wolf Blitzer’s Late Emission includes a little lizard action (between all the talk shows and going down on dubya in the presidential limo, it’s no wonder she doesn’t have time for Congress), Iraqi Foreign Minister Hose yer Zebra Hoshyar Zebari, Democrat Adam Putnam of Florida, pseudo-Democrat Jane Harman of California, Jose Manuel Barroso, President of the European Commission, and a few assorted CNN hacks.

Later, on 60 Minutes “Slam Dunk” George Tenet hawks his book with Scott Pelley, and Steve Kroft ponders whether someone who has been deemed an imminent danger to himself (like Seung-Hui Cho) be allowed to own a gun? Must people would probably answer “duh,” but apparently “advocates” for the mentally ill say yes.

Then there are new episodes of the Simpsons, Family Guy, and American Dad, plus episode 4 of 9 of the last season of the Sopranos. Have a good Sunday.

So, what’s been going on? I haven’t had a chance to really pay attention to much of anything in the news, except that I saw yet another crook in the DOJ resigned. Not much new there. Happy Birthday to the Syracuse Peace Council, celebrating its 71st birthday today.

Today’s my mom’s birthday. She’d have turned 83 today (and would be none too happy to have me tell you that). She was Taurus, I’m Scorpio. It was an interesting relationship at times, to say the least. Happy Birthday mom. To everybody else, Happy Arbor Day. Go out and hug a tree.

Whoopie, the Dow closed at 13,000 yesterday. For me, that means, um, let me see…pretty much nothing. Gas is back up to three bucks a gallon, I broke my hydrometer, Iraq is still Iraq, and that goddamn 50-page paper isn’t exactly writing itself, is it? But the Dow is up, and CNN thinks news is a video of cat pretending to play the piano. Whoopdie-doo indeed.

Okay, today is phase two of the beginning of the end. Lots left to do before class tonight, including finishing a paper, doing a network diagram, and coming up with a presentation. So, this is definitely an example of a Wednesday that sucks, but once it’s over with, I can concentrate on phase three. I can’t wait until this is all over with, even if it kills me. I’m too old for this shit.

My brain hurts too much to think, let alone write. Y’all carry on.

Well, today marks the beginning of the end. No, not for Gonzo (well, OK, maybe for Gonzo, but that’s not what I meant), but for the end of this horrible nightmare, known as “grad school.” I’ll spare you the gory details, but basically I have three days of acutely horrible hell, to be followed by roughly a week and a half (unless I can write faster) of chronically horrible hell, trying to crank out 60 pages of bullshit that will pass for, um, not bullshit. Or at least not so much bullshit that I don’t pass. Then you (and, more importantly, my wife) will never have to listen to me bitch about school again. I will promptly begin bitching about looking for a job, and then (hopefully fairly quickly) bitching about working.

Gee, everybody sure has their knickers in a knot over Alec Baldwin’s little voicemail to his daughter. Good thing nobody ever recorded some of the things my mom called me (not that I didn’t have it coming, of course). Anyway…

On Press the Meat, will it be all about saving mother earth today? Fuck no. It’s a mass murder kind of day, as Timmy Potatohead hosts Va Tech President Charles Stenger, plus HHS Secretary Michael Leavitt and Education Secretary Margaret Spellings, and retired VA State Police Superintendent Col. Gerald Massengill (I’ll refrain from douche jokes) and the rigid man himself, former DHS Secretary Tom Ridge. Then we’ll talk some Gonzo, Iraq, and SCOTUS at the roundtable, with Presidential Historian Doris Kearns Goodwin, Karl Rove’s rap partner, David Gregory, Newsweek Editor, Imus buddy, and war on Christmas warrior Jon Meacham and NBC News administration shill, Pete “Petey” Williams.

Over on CBS’s Faze the Nation, Bush Buddy Bobby Schieffer hosts Pat Leahy (to talk about what an impressive figure Alberto “VO5” Gonzales is, no doubt), and then Jim and Sarah Brady stop by to tell us what a great thing guns are (and Jim has the hole in his brain to prove it), plus former FBI profiler Gregg McCrary.

Over at Fux News Sunday, Weaselface Wallace gets a little action on the Va Tech tragedy with Virginia Lt. Gov. Bill Bolling (you can tell Fox is slipping when all they rate is a Lt. Gov.), plus GWU President Stephen Trachtenberg. Then it’s Chuck Schumer and – get this – somebody Fox lists as “Arlene Specter.” Oh, Arlen, I don’t think they love you anymore.

Over on the Goebbels network, George Snufalufagus is thrilled, just thrilled to have an EXCLUSIVE! with hypocrite, philanderer, and disgraced former Speaker of the House, Newt Gingrich. Then Curious George goes “On the Trail” with Democratic presidential “candidate” Chris Dodd. Finally, the Axis of Drivel is reunited, as Sam :omg: Donaldson, Cokie “the hag” Roberts and George :jerk: Will sit around the table to tut-tut, tsk-tsk, wink and nod.

Over at CNN, Wolf’s Late Emission consists of a bunch of people who couldn’t get a gig on a real network show, including an example of what’s the matter with Kansas, Sam Brownback, NY Times Bozo, Thomas “My Head is Flat” Friedman, asshole Lanny Davis, and a few other has-beens and never was(s).

Later, on 60 Minutes, you guessed it, we get some Va Tech action as Scott Pelley talks to the authors behind the Secret Service study of assassins, who compare their research to the characteristics of the Virginia Tech shooter, Lara Logan reports on bombs, shootings and long gas lines in Baghdad, and Anderson Cooper reports on how the hip-hop culture’s message not to cooperate with the police in any way has undermined efforts to solve murders across the country (hey, 60 Minutes, you couldn’t find anybody whiter than Anderson Cooper for that story?).

Earth Day? What Earth Day?

And of course at 9:00 eastern time, it’s number 3 of 9 in the final season of the Sopranos. And if anybody out there has Showtime, don’t forget to try and tape tonight’s Dexter for b@b.

Have a good Sunday.

I don’t know about where you live, but in these parts, it’s supposed to be a warm, sunny weekend. Last week, six or eight inches of snow. This week, over 70 and sunny. It’ll be too goddamn hot before you know it.

Update: Well, Granny is now an official granny, as little Violet Marie was born at about 3:30 AM Central time this morning, at 6 pounds 7 ounces. She was a bit anxious to arrive, coming into the world three or so weeks early, so she will be staying in the hospital for 12 – 48 hours, but mom and daughter are apparently otherwise doing well.