Gee, April Fools and the Sunday talking head shows. How appropriate.
This week, Timmy Potatohead tells us he’s ashamed of being a disgusting shill, and vows to start speaking truth to power. His guests on Press the Meat this week are Joe Lieberman, who admits what a pathetic piece of shit he’s become, then resigns from the US Senate, and Senator John McCain, who discloses that that shit in his cheek is actually an alien symbiont. McCain then begs somebody to shoot him before they hatch. Fellow Vietnam Vet Jim Webb is happy to oblige. Over at Fux News, an apparently inebriated Chris Wallace begins the show by sobbing out an apology to his dad for growing up to be such a failure, admitting to wearing women’s underwear, and saying he’s through with being a Republican propagandist. He also calls Rubert Murdoch the incarnation of Joseph Goebbels, tells him to go fuck himself, and then walks off the set, drastically in need of a diaper change. Bill O’Reilly – glassy-eyed, and still wet from the shower – rushes to fill in, still holding what’s left of a soggy falafel in one of his meaty little fists. At CBS, Bob Schieffer decides to turn the tables; instead of facing the nation, he moons it. George Snufalufagus, hosting a special roundtable, tells Cokie “the Cryptkeeper” Roberts that she makes him physically ill. He then yanks the toupee off Sam Donaldson’s head, and shoves it down George Will’s throat, leaving both his hand and Will’s lips covered in black shoe polish. Over at CNN, they change the name of the “Situation Room” to the “Position Room,” and Wolf Blitzer dutifully assumes the position. Later, on 60 Minutes, Morley Safer tells Andy Rooney he’s tired of his whining, bitch-slaps him a few times, and then spits in his face. Rooney responds by squeaking out, “did you ever wonder why people have to spit in the drinking fountain? It never goes down the drain, and then the next person coming along has to bend down and just about put their nose in it, just to get a drink of water.”
April Fools!
OK, now the real April fools….
On Press the Meat, the Potaoheaded one hosts Pat Leahy, who will hopefully choke the shit out of Gonzo apologist, Orrin “down the” Hatch. Also, Charlie Rangel will be on to hawk his new book.
Meanwhile, it’s more Gonzo and a little bit of Iraq over at CBS, as Bush buddy Bobby Schieffer hosts Chucky Schumer and Arlen “all talk” Specter, plus Bush “Counselor,” Dan Bartlett.
Over at Fux News Sunday, Weaselface Wallace hosts Mitch “the prick” McConnell and Senator MBNA, Joe Biden. The topic? Will our brave president be allowed to give our soldiers what they need to fight his glorious war, or will the godless Democrats be allowed to starve them to death, by insisting on a non-binding timetable to pulling out of this mess?
On the Goebbels network, it’s more Dan Bartlett, this time on with Dick Durbin to talk some more Gonzo, and a little Iraq. Then, for reasons know only to Mickey and Goofy, its’ freakin’ Tommy Thompson, on to pretend he’s got something relevant to say, and to talk about his presidential aspirations (lotsa luck,Tommy; just what the Republicans need, another loser in the race). Then, at the Roundtable, it’s Fareed “token” Zakaria, graduate of the NPR school of hackery, Martha Raddatz, and George :jerk: Will. And then Cal Ripken apparently has a book to hawk, too. To quote Archie Bunker, “whoopdie-doo, whoopdie-doo, whoopdie-doo.”
Over at CNN, the only people that look interesting from Wolf Blitzer’s Late Emission are Mick Ware and Al Sharpton.
Later, on 60 Minutes, Steve Kroft reports on how the pharmaceutical industry lobby bought off Congress to foist the despicable Medicare prescription drug law on us (better late than never, eh, Steve?), Lesley Stahl does a story on whether, if crime scene DNA is matches a suspect so closely that the odds are the perpetrator is in the suspect’s family, the cops be allowed to investigate family members (would the answer be, “duh?”), and Scott Pelley breaks a big story: Global Warming is real! Who knew?
Now, get out there and fool at least some of the people some of the time today.
Firsty-first!
Good morning, geniuses. It’s Sunday, April 1 in the era of Republican corruption. Any chance something good might happen today? I’ll settle for a Mets win over the Cardinals. It’s like they’re picking up where they left off.
The government contractor that set up a billion-dollar-a-year federal reading program for the Education Department and failed, according to the department’s inspector general, to keep it free of conflicts of interest is one of the companies now evaluating the program.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/03/31/AR2007033100824.html?referrer=email
I guess I need to say that this is NOT an April Fool’s joke. It’s just the ordinary, daily joke played on us by the Loyal Bushies.
The recall of contaminated pet food expanded as stores removed from their shelves a limited number of cans of Alpo dog food, the latest high-profile brand to be caught up in the investigation of what has sickened or killed an unknown number of cats and dogs.
Nestle Purina PetCare Co., which manufactures the 71-year-old brand, announced Friday that it was voluntarily recalling all sizes and varieties of Alpo Prime Cuts in Gravy wet dog food that are marked with specific date codes. The company acted after learning that wheat gluten containing melamine — a toxin suspected of causing the pet illnesses — had contaminated cans at one of Purina’s 17 pet-food manufacturing facilities.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/03/31/AR2007033101106.html?referrer=emai
We have been feeding the dogs Science Diet cans and the cats Merrick cans. Merrick also makes dry dog food that contains no wheat gluten. We found some dry cat food that contains no wheat gluten and hopefully it is therefore safe.
My vet says she’s seen a lot of dogs and cats affected by the contaminated food but that all the reactions have been mild and everyone has recovered.
PJ, some of those jokes sounded somewhat plausible, at least in part. Someone really should spit in Andy Rooney’s face while he’s still here using up valuable oxygen.
Here’s something no one is going to tell Timmuh or any of the other newshow dickwads today: If the Iranians let the sailors go before The Mad Bomber and Cheney leave office, either in’08 or from impeachment, they’re freaking nuts. “Don’t put me down Kong! Don’t put me down!” It’s the Fay Wray theory of self-defense. The bombs will start falling 25 minutes after those Brits sail past Gibraltar. :sammy:
:yippee: :cake: :banana: happy birthday to mom happy birthday to mom happy birthday to mooooom happy birthday to mom
Good morning :joe:
:40: sleep soon
:yuck: puke then sleep :yawn:
Just don’t do it in reverse order.
Morning / Evening :yingyang:
Happy Anniversary of the start of MS.
Hello to fans and friends.
sometimes i wanna :jerk: to ann coulter……
i think i’m defective 🙁
WOW, there are — in a V config(uration) — some beautiful, handsome, beautiful Canadian Geese flying bye…
Oh, nooo, they are just Dragons, “nevermind” :nod:
Cheers in whatever 😉 way … :alc: or TEA or :joe: or :bong:
or … ARREST ❗ IMPEACH ❗ then V. … Devil’s Hootenanny
“…stay the night and sing a pretty song for free…”
she just makes me feel better … Thx Travis and
She- :hubba: 😉 and … :pirate: :nod:
SeanMS, :rofl2: and PJ’s April 1, 2007Booblehead Thread – Fools Edition :rofl2: C-Ya
FRED ❗ Where For Art Thou, FRED and 😉 ❗ ❓ ❗ … this is NOT an A. Fool’s whatever :smack:
ARREST ❗ IMPEACH ❗ then V ❗ FREDDDDD ❗
do i have to get a “candle[s] in the window 4 U huh” ❓ …
it worked for some : – ) … 😉 But C-Ya, Cheers, Ta
Former US Secretary of State Henry Kissinger, who helped engineer the US withdrawal from Vietnam, says the problems in Iraq are more complex than that conflict, and military victory is no longer possible.
He also said he sympathises with the troubles facing US President George Bush.
http://www.theage.com.au/news/world/iraq-victory-not-possible-kissinger/2007/04/01/1175366064559.html
:bow: they tried to make me go to rehab but i said no no no
NY Times, editorial today:
Turn over a scandal in Washington these days and the chances are you’ll find Karl Rove. His tracks are everywhere: whether it’s helping to purge United States attorneys, coaching bureaucrats on how to spend taxpayers’ money to promote Republican candidates, hijacking the White House Office of Faith-Based and Community Initiatives for partisan politics, or helping to organize a hit on the character of one of the first people to publicly reveal the twisting of intelligence reports on Iraq.
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/04/01/opinion/01sun1.html
Scientists have taken the temperature of Earth’s innards, more than a thousand miles beneath the surface, and found that the mercury there soars to about 6,650 degrees Fahrenheit.
That’s nearly as steamy as our sun, where the surface reaches 9,980 degrees.
http://www.livescience.com/forcesofnature/070330_earth_temperature.html
:hot: :hot:
ha- ha! :rofl2: :rofl2: :rofl2:
The link below is NOT an April Fool’s story. The April Fool’s story would be “Amy Winehouse swears off booze for life.”
http://tinyurl.com/yudsvt
I did something similar in college (which I’m sure comes as a surprise to no one here), so I can relate.
:alc:
Amy, if you ever do any shows here, just get me tix at front row center and I promise to catch anything that falls out. 😀
OK, ALMOST anything. :barf:
Volunteers found the football-size cane toad in a pond near the northern port city of Darwin.
Nearly 15 inches (38 centimeters) long and weighing about 2 pounds (0.9 kilogram), the croaker is one of the largest specimens ever caught in Australia.
“It’s huge, to put it mildly,” Graeme Sawyer, coordinator of the group that caught the toad, told the Associated Press. “The biggest toads are usually females, but this one was a rampant male. … Iwould hate to meet his big sister.”
http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2007/03/070327-monster-toad.html
They’ve got a picture of it, too. (I don’t know about the rampant part.) 🙄
I can’t decide who that toad resembles more, Cheney or Rove. Cold-blooded ugly creatures all.
Afternoon all.
Sue P, re 17 :nana: :pup: :yippee: :cat: :pirate: :rofl2: :banana:
….. and aren’t those toads lickable? :rofl2:
SUE P re: toads …… It is for real! I saw pictures, heard many reports, and “heard” in background national news speak of it 😉
LBH=Lead (LED) Balloon, humour=it just doesn’t “fly” :dancers:
posting in PAST for FUTURE awww :rofl2:
re. 25, 26, &27 :pirate: 😉
Hi Druid. The toad was posted by the National Geographic website so I assume it’s real. They have some other links to stories about the cane toad, which is apparently an alien invasive species that is spreading across Australia. It’s evoling too. The toads’ legs are getting longer.
I assume that our present regime is, has and will continue playing enough jokes on us, to relieve us all of our quota of April Fool jokes for years to come.
Here’s the link to the article about the toads evoling longer legs, allowing them to invade ever faster.
http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2006/02/0215_060215_cane_toads.html
Switching from a glass to a bottle is a good way to crack a tooth. Switching from a bottle to a glass just gets you a wet lap.
I one knew a girl who had been so drunk one night, she fell and broke her leg. In the emergency room, she was still so drunk that she rolled off the gurney, and fell face first into the floor. Literally smashed her face in, broke her jaw, nose, lots of bones in her face. That was way before I knew her. They did a good job of fixing her face, I must say. You’d think that would have slowed the old drinking down, but, ‘fraid not.
Crap! I forgot how much I hate moving! How did I fit so much shit into less than 300 sq ft?? :rant1:
Yeah, I’d love to be wealthy and be able to pay somebody to do all that kinda stuff. As it is, when I move, I tend to quickly lose any sentimentality, and start throwing shit out.
:banana: thats why im gonna buy the house that my apartment is in!!!!!
:yawn: go to sleep bitch
die motherfucker die……
This is why I don’t like or trust Obama.
Very much like his “ok, I’ll vote to filibuster Alito once, but it won’t work.”
Regardless of what happens, you don’t tell the other side “hey, don’t worry, in the end, we’re gonna cave in.” I mean, how fucking stupid is that?
howdy doo from 8th ave and 42nd st…driving from the village to the museum to pick up the boys….ran down to chinatown
Gaad, am I excited about Tommy Thompson! :sammy:
Regardless of what happens, you don’t tell the other side “hey, don’t worry, in the end, we’re gonna cave in.†I mean, how fucking stupid is that?
Comment by pjsauter — April 1, 2007 @ 5:10 pm
Agreeance. Obama generally strikes me as a bright, thoughful guy, which makes this boneheaded move seem even more stupid. If he’s going to sit at the adult table, he needs to get his act together.
Maybe Barbara Boxer can let him borrow her spine, at least while the Senate is in recess. I’m still warm and fuzzy over that smackdown she gave Inhofe during Gore’s hearing. :love:
Hey, this guy (or gal) thinks this is Marc Maron’s blog!
God bless Monty Python
I share the outrage expressed in the British press over the treatment of our naval personnel accused by Iran of illegally entering their waters. It is a disgrace. We would never dream of treating captives like this – allowing them to smoke cigarettes, for example, even though it has been proven that smoking kills. And as for compelling poor servicewoman Faye Turney to wear a black headscarf, and then allowing the picture to be posted around the world – have the Iranians no concept of civilised behaviour? For God’s sake, what’s wrong with putting a bag over her head? That’s what we do with the Muslims we capture: we put bags over their heads, so it’s hard to breathe. Then it’s perfectly acceptable to take photographs of them and circulate them to the press because the captives can’t be recognised and humiliated in the way these unfortunate British service people are.
It’s surprising to note how much Maron sounds like you these days, pj. Sorry to hear he’s now ripping off bloggers for material.
:rofl2:
Or maybe the person who wrote the post is just playing an elaborate April Fool’s prank on us. 😀
Yeah, if Maron is writing this stuff, he’s really gone downhill. I feel bad; if I’d known that was gonna happen, I’d have tried to be more clever.
Geez PJ you’re a regular celebrity now.
Over on the right side of the “Talk Radio” blog that thinks that PJ is Maron, there is a ranking of talk radio hosts by the percent of audience share. Same Seder is #5, ahead of The Young Turks and Maddow et al.
http://talkingradio.blogspot.com/2007/04/sunday-morning-meltdown.html
That Terry Jones op-ed is great. Too bad nobody in our governmemt (or media) would get it.
That’s really pretty good for Sam, considering I keep hearing how stations are taking Stephanie Miller’s show over his. He’s less that 1% behind Stephie.
This morning on the Chris Matthews Show, NBC News’ Andrea Mitchell revealed that Gen. David Petraeus, the top U.S. commander in Iraq, met “very recently†with the Senate Republican caucus to discuss their strategy on Iraq legislation.
“Petraeus went to the Republican caucus and told them, I will have real progress to you by August,†Mitchell said. The Republicans claim they told him that after August, they will end their support for the war. “They have told him at a caucus meeting as very, very recently, that if there isn’t progress by August — and real progress means not a day of violence and a day of sanity — that they will pull the plug.
http://thinkprogress.org/2007/04/01/petraeus-caucus/
There’s video, too.
Again, do they actually have anybody going out and trying to sell these shows? Any promotion? Any contests? I mean, WTF?
Well, here’s what I say they do. Bush vetoes. The Democrats call for an emergency bill to fully fund complete and total withdrawal from Iraq, saying that, if Bush refuses to sign a bill that funds our troops because it has the most limited of oversight in a non-binding timetable, then it would be unconscionable to leave our troops over there starving. So, the only alternative is to bring them home. A vote against that is a vote to allow our troops to starve to death in the desert.
Those are your choices Republicans. Vote to fund our troops by overriding Bush’s veto, vote to bring them home, or vote to let them die. The choice is yours.
Obama’s too honest for his own good. You gotta have more Nixon in you than that if you want to be Prez.
This has always been about pinning the war on Bush and the GOP, in preparation for a contemplated total wipe out in ’08 – as Obey said we don’t have the votes to end the war. Yet. “Why can’t stupid liberals realize that?”
The GOP realizes it; that’s why they told Petreous that they’ll all be ‘abandoning the troops’ in August, because fuck these dead kids, when you start talking about Coleman or Spector losing his job, that’s serious. So unless they can put a P.R. face of victory on this abortion of a war, it starts winding down in the summertime.
And that’s reality. Yoko and me.
Gee, I always thought that Maron wrote PJ’s stuff. :sammy:
pjsauter, re 48 :pup: :fist: PERFECT :nod: :cat:
re 49 :nod:
ARREST ❗ IMPEACH ❗ then V. Devil’s Hootenanny L.Veirs
I knew there was a reason I liked pj and his little blog that could.
I was listening to MSRadio in the wee hours and heard some great stuff starting with Marc and Sam in LA.
I also like the way the Four Seasons fused the drums as well as the song ‘April Fools’ by Aretha from the under appreciated album “Young, Gifted, and Black”.
Don’t get me started on the Four Tops, the best ever Motown group.
Happy Holidays to all. I have my big jug of sucrose sweetened kosher Cokola ready to go. Eggs for deviling later in the week. Not sure what I will do for Easter ham or lamb.
Missing some Grand National Championship right about now.
Oh God PJ…This guy thinks that THIS is Maron’s blog and that YOU are Maron!!
So he has attributed your bobblehead thread from today to Maron!! :rofl2: :rofl2: :rofl2: :rofl2: :rofl2: :rofl2: :rofl2: :rofl2:
Not that its not an apt comparison…but the blogs can be just rife with people who dont do their homework…
very funny….
oops…I see you guys knew already…sorry
Thats what happens when I go to chinatown for the afternoon…
Cheers, Cresttwo,
“a P.R. face of victory on this abortion of a war”. Those are really profound words.
a.i.v. Devil’s Hootenanny L. Veirs
Oh god…and I hurt ltr’s feelings…I just published his comment and my response on my blog….
the last seconds of April Fool (Tarot) … EDST
:nana: :pup: :pirate: :billcat: :cat: :pirate:
:dancers: of Death :reaper: ❗ ARREST ❗ IMPEACH ❗
Omega Death of Martian Alpha Dani California
Snow (Hey Ho) well it’s Midnight :pent: AWN Mwah HaHa FullMoon :pirate: :dancers:
i got my mom the us vs john lennon and rosemarys baby on dvd for her birthday
i got true romance for my mom too but decided she wouldnt appreciate it and kept it for myself
SeanMS, true romance for my mom too but decided she wouldnt appreciate she probably would 😉
a.i.v. … Animal Bar …. Red :hot: Chili Peppers :pirate: :dancers:
Clifford Worley: You’re Sicilian, huh?
Coccotti: Yeah, Sicilian.
Clifford Worley: Ya know, I read a lot. Especially about things… about history. I find that shit fascinating. Here’s a fact I don’t know whether you know or not. Sicilians were spawned by niggers.
Coccotti: Come again?
Clifford Worley: It’s a fact. Yeah. You see, uh, Sicilians have, uh, black blood pumpin’ through their hearts. Hey, no, if eh, if eh, if you don’t believe me, uh, you can look it up. Hundreds and hundreds of years ago, uh, you see, uh, the Moors conquered Sicily. And the Moors are niggers.
Coccotti: Yes…
Clifford Worley: So you see, way back then, uh, Sicilians were like, uh, wops from Northern Italy. Ah, they all had blonde hair and blue eyes, but, uh, well, then the Moors moved in there, and uh, well, they changed the whole country. They did so much fuckin’ with Sicilian women, huh? That they changed the whole bloodline forever. That’s why blonde hair and blue eyes became black hair and dark skin. You know, it’s absolutely amazing to me to think that to this day, hundreds of years later, that, uh, that Sicilians still carry that nigger gene. Now this…
[Coccotti busts out laughing]
Clifford Worley: No, I’m, no, I’m quoting… history. It’s written. It’s a fact, it’s written.
Coccotti: [Laughing] I love this guy.
Clifford Worley: Your ancestors are niggers. Uh-huh.
[Starts laughing, too]
Clifford Worley: Hey. Yeah. And, and your great-great-great-great grandmother fucked a nigger, ho, ho, yeah, and she had a half-nigger kid… now, if that’s a fact, tell me, am I lying? ‘Cause you, you’re part eggplant.
[All laugh]