Well, today is Holy Taintday (‘taint Good Friday, and ‘taint Easter) – the day Jesus spent regenerating inside the Tardis, before reemerging to battle the Daleks. Or something like that (I told ya, I’m a little vague on the whole story). Anyhow, it’s also the day when devout christians such as myself spend time honoring God by dying Easter Eggs and removing the penises from chocolate Easter Bunnies (don’t waste them; send them to the Reverend Ted Haggert), while contemplating the Divine Triad (Jesus, Doctor Who, and Marilyn Manson).

Therefore…