Gee, everybody sure has their knickers in a knot over Alec Baldwin’s little voicemail to his daughter. Good thing nobody ever recorded some of the things my mom called me (not that I didn’t have it coming, of course). Anyway…

On Press the Meat, will it be all about saving mother earth today? Fuck no. It’s a mass murder kind of day, as Timmy Potatohead hosts Va Tech President Charles Stenger, plus HHS Secretary Michael Leavitt and Education Secretary Margaret Spellings, and retired VA State Police Superintendent Col. Gerald Massengill (I’ll refrain from douche jokes) and the rigid man himself, former DHS Secretary Tom Ridge. Then we’ll talk some Gonzo, Iraq, and SCOTUS at the roundtable, with Presidential Historian Doris Kearns Goodwin, Karl Rove’s rap partner, David Gregory, Newsweek Editor, Imus buddy, and war on Christmas warrior Jon Meacham and NBC News administration shill, Pete “Petey” Williams.

Over on CBS’s Faze the Nation, Bush Buddy Bobby Schieffer hosts Pat Leahy (to talk about what an impressive figure Alberto “VO5” Gonzales is, no doubt), and then Jim and Sarah Brady stop by to tell us what a great thing guns are (and Jim has the hole in his brain to prove it), plus former FBI profiler Gregg McCrary.

Over at Fux News Sunday, Weaselface Wallace gets a little action on the Va Tech tragedy with Virginia Lt. Gov. Bill Bolling (you can tell Fox is slipping when all they rate is a Lt. Gov.), plus GWU President Stephen Trachtenberg. Then it’s Chuck Schumer and – get this – somebody Fox lists as “Arlene Specter.” Oh, Arlen, I don’t think they love you anymore.

Over on the Goebbels network, George Snufalufagus is thrilled, just thrilled to have an EXCLUSIVE! with hypocrite, philanderer, and disgraced former Speaker of the House, Newt Gingrich. Then Curious George goes “On the Trail” with Democratic presidential “candidate” Chris Dodd. Finally, the Axis of Drivel is reunited, as Sam :omg: Donaldson, Cokie “the hag” Roberts and George :jerk: Will sit around the table to tut-tut, tsk-tsk, wink and nod.

Over at CNN, Wolf’s Late Emission consists of a bunch of people who couldn’t get a gig on a real network show, including an example of what’s the matter with Kansas, Sam Brownback, NY Times Bozo, Thomas “My Head is Flat” Friedman, asshole Lanny Davis, and a few other has-beens and never was(s).

Later, on 60 Minutes, you guessed it, we get some Va Tech action as Scott Pelley talks to the authors behind the Secret Service study of assassins, who compare their research to the characteristics of the Virginia Tech shooter, Lara Logan reports on bombs, shootings and long gas lines in Baghdad, and Anderson Cooper reports on how the hip-hop culture’s message not to cooperate with the police in any way has undermined efforts to solve murders across the country (hey, 60 Minutes, you couldn’t find anybody whiter than Anderson Cooper for that story?).

Earth Day? What Earth Day?

And of course at 9:00 eastern time, it’s number 3 of 9 in the final season of the Sopranos. And if anybody out there has Showtime, don’t forget to try and tape tonight’s Dexter for b@b.

Have a good Sunday.