I don’t think anybody reads these things anymore, but here goes….

Press the Meat kicks us off with the will she or won’t she, should she or shouldn’t she routine that we’ll no doubt be seeing a lot of in the coming weeks, with Obama dude Chris Dodd and Clinton dude Terry McAuliffe. That will no doubt be followed by more of the same at the roundtable with Chris “chinchilla godzilla magilla gorilla” Cillizza, John “the dick” Harwood, NPR’s Michele Norris and WSJ shill Jerry Seib (whose claim to fame is being held by Iran 20 years ago). Awesome.

Over on Faze the Nation, Terry McAuliffe pops back up again, plus there’s John Edwards and Politico’s Jim Vandehei (who I think is somehow related to Art Vandelay).

Fux News Sunday picks up the theme of the day with David Axelrod, chief strategist for the Obama campaign and Clinton campaign senior adviser Howard Wolfson. There are also the usual fuxheads, and today’s power player of the week is conservative putz and actor, Ben Stein (who would probably be a better economic adviser for McCain that Carly Fiorina, but then Johnny does seem to have a thing for bottle blondes).

Speaking of Carly, she pops up on This Weak with George Snufalufagus, along with Harry Reid, and then 2/3 of the axis of drivel are together at the roundtable, as Cokie “the hag” Roberts and Sam :omg: Donaldson are joined by the WaPost’s Ruth Marcus.

CNN’s Late Emission has some guy named Barack Obama (must be a Muslim terrorist or something), plus asshole Roy Blunt (he’d be better off having Roy Blount, IMHO), DCCC Chair Chris Van Hollen, former Iraq army dude, Ricardo Sanchez, and Iraqi Ambassador to the U.S., Samir Sumaidaie.

Later, on 60 Minutes, Chiquita says it protected its employees’ bananas by paying off murderous paramilitaries in Colombia, but the families of civilians killed tell Steve Kroft the company is responsible.
Dana Priest, Amy Goldstein, and Scott Pelley, look at the horrible conditions in a U.S. government-run prison system that’s killed some of the detainees. And Morley Safer finds out if Alec Baldwin is planning on running for office.

Happy Mother’s Day to all you mothers out there, and to all you kids and motherf*ckers, I hope you remembered to get Mom something nice. Have a good one.