So, Snotty Scotty’s gonna testify before Congress – in public and under oath. Not that I’d get my hopes up, but wouldn’t it be funny if McClellan was the one who finally brought down the Bush/Cheney crime family (or at least was the first crack in the wall)? Odds are, he’s just a schmuck lackey who really doesn’t know anything, but, hey, you never know.

I hate to keep resorting to bitching about the weather, but it’s just too friggin’ hot here. I know it’s probably hotter elsewhere, but around these parts we like things a helluva lot cooler. There’s high pressure off the Carolina coast teaming up with a low pressure over the Dakotas to act as a pump. According to a weather geek down at Cornell, we’re breathing air up here today that was over the Gulf of Mexico just two days ago – hot, humid, nasty goddamn air.

Up until last Wednesday, we were getting nice cool weather from our friends in Canada. Now we’re getting record heat and humidity, and it sucks. Even the dogs feel like shit. It’s been in the 90’s since Friday, and it’s supposed to be 95 today and in the nineties Tuesday, too. Worse, it isn’t supposed to get below 70 until we get hit by a cold front (no doubt ushered in by thunderstorms that will scare the hell out of the dog).

Oh well, at least there’s a/c at work (at least, it better be working, or I’m outta there).

You’ll have to get up a little earlier this morning if you want to watch Press the Meat. Thanks to the French Open, the potatoheaded one and his gaggle of gasbags will be on at 8 AM Eastern. This week’s bombastic buffoons (all NBC news ‘reporters’) include Ron Allen, fresh off the Clinton campaign bus, and his counerpart from the Obama campaign, Lee Cowan. Then there’s intrepid Gilligan lookalike, David “how dare you say we wereshills for the Bush administration” Gregory, the woman who must have the most motivation to get out of bed in the morning, Mrs. Allen Greenspan, Andrea Mitchell, Kelly O’Donnell, stuck following the McCain campaign, and proving once again that goatees are for schmucks, Chuck Todd (no offense to Jeff Farias or you other goatee types, of course). The topic of the day? “How can we prop up this half-dead grumpy old man McCain and make a ‘horse race’ out of this thing?”

Now that Clinton has conceded and thrown her support to Obama, the day’s topic on Faze the Nation is, predictably, “What Does Hillary Clinton Want?” 🙄 Helping Bob Schieffer figure that out will be Howard Wolfson of the Clinton Campaign, the ever entertaining Charlie Rangel, Jim Webb, and Roger Simon of the ever incorrect Politico.

Turning the dial to Fox News Sunday (does anybody still have a teevee with dials on it?), we find Weaselface Wallace hosting Obama supporter, Governor Tim Kaine of Virginia and McCain supporter, Governor Tim “why waste money maintaining bridges?” Pawlenty of Minnesota. Then the regular fuxheads ponder the question, “is the VP nod likely for Hillary Clinton?”

Over on the Goebbels network, George Snufalufagus has Obama supporter John Kerry, li’l Lindsey Graham, for McCain, and DINO Dianne Feinstein. At the roundtable, it’s The Washington Post’s Jonathan Capeheart, dynamic duo Jay Carney and Claire Shipman, and, of course, George :jerk: Will.

Dianne the Dino pops up on Late Emission with Wolf Blitzkrieg, along with Bob Casey, Krazy Jon Kyl, the extremely horrible Kay Bailey Hutchison (horrible enough to be St. McCain’s veep, perhaps?), Howard Wolfson (again), and Husain Haqqani, Pakistani Ambassador to U.S. (hey, how’d he get in there?).

Later, on 60 Minutes, Scott Pelley reports on the deaths and property damage caused by dust explosions at American factories, Lesley Stahl reports on how Howard Hughes’ money is being used to probe life’s medical mysteries through the Howard Hughes Medical Institute (the only catch is, you have to fish the money of the mayonnaise jars he kept it in), and Byron Pitts (whoever that is) reports on some preacher named Joel Osteen, who packs in lots of god fearing Texans down there in Houston.

The Tudors is done for the season, but you can catch up on reruns of Dexter, with back to back episodes starting at 8:00. Truly a sight to behold in Hi-Def.

Have a good one.

I really have nothing to say today, because it’s too goddamn hot. Record heat yesterday, and no relief on the way anytime soon.

:hot:

This sucks.

It’s Friday, and I get to end the week in my favored work location. Unfortunately, my ‘supervisor’ is off today, and so I’m in line to handle any problems that arise. Somehow, I’ve gotten stuck with this sort of thing, despite only working on this side of things part time. My problem is that I tend to smile and nod and say OK a lot, even though I have no clue what I’m doing. Then I have to go and figure out how to do it. And then I get a reputation for being somebody who knows what he’s doing, so people keep asking me shit, so then I have to figure out how to do even more shit.

I do this to myself all the time. I remember when I stopped being a projectionist, and started being a ‘maintenance helper,’ way back when. The job description was basically, ‘hold the ladder and fetch tools’ (which is about all I was qualified to do, truth be told, beyond maybe replacing my brake pads, unless you had a 35 or 70 mm projector torn down and rebuilt or maybe a Xenon bulb replaced, or perhaps adjust the trim on a carbon arc lamphouse). So they asked me, “you know how to fix an ice machine?” And like an idiot, I said “oh, sure.” So I became the ice machine guy. Then I got an apprenticeship, and eventually became a Refrigeration Mechanic (still got my Journeyman card, and my EPA certification). All the while never really knowing what I was doing.

When I think about it, I realize I don’t actually know how to do much of anything. I know just enough about a lot of things to bullshit my way through. I guess I’m just too stupid or vain or stubborn or something to say “I don’t know.”

I ought to add that to my resume.

So, Clinton will officially drop out tomorrow, if you can believe the news stories. I say we all get over whatever animosity we’ve built up (on either side), and work to make sure John McCain doesn’t wind up being preznit.

I didn’t stay up too late last night, but by the time I went to bed, everybody had called the race for the nomination over. I hope everybody can get together over the next few weeks and realize who the bad guy is, and who must be stopped at all costs from becoming the next president.

But I reckon that aint gonna happen overnight.

Yesterday was on of the mondayest Mondays I’ve suffered through in quite a while. Just wasn’t into it. Gas was up from $4059 Sunday to $4.129 yesterday morning. Then Granny had the honor of working an 11 hour+ day (for free, of course – well, the 3+ hours, anyway). By the time I came home from work, gas was up already up a nickel, to $4.179 (if this keeps up, it’ll be well past $5 by Labor Day, and god only know what it’ll hit when Bush bombs Iran).

Then on the radio in the car on the way to pick Granny up, I heard a story about the earthquake in China, and the relief efforts in Cheng Du (which is pronounced like ‘Chung Doo’), and that always makes me think of the song from that friggin’ musical, Guys and Dolls (which any of you who have – or had – high school kids have no doubt been forced to suffer through at least once). So I’ve got “chung do, chung do, this guy says the horse chung do” running on an endless loop in my brain all night long, and no beer in the house to drown it with, and then I finally get to sleep and, and damned if it aint frickin’ Tuesday morning already, and I’ve gotta get up and do it all over again (and now I’ve got that goddamn song loop running in my brain again, too) . Bleh.

On the bright side, I did get to spend a rather pleasant evening sitting in the back yard with the dogs and the one cat that has outdoor privileges, surfing the Internet while listening to the Mockingbirds bitch at her (the cat, that is) from their nest in the tree next door (they’re not too crazy about the cat). Plus these freakin’ primaries are over with today, finally, so that’s one less thing we’ll have to listen to, which is good because I need to recharge before we start in with what a disappointment Obama is (unless McCain gets appointed by the Supreme Court or something, in which case it doesn’t matter ‘cuz we’re really headed down the shitter).

I think I need a day off.

So, Clinton won the highly prized Puerto Rico primary yesterday. As we all know, every election always seems to come down to PR and their, um, zero electoral votes. Well, hopefully this part of things will finally be over come Tuesday. I’m just plain tired of it all. There’s no way all this shit should start in January. It’s just too goddamn long to hear the same things over and over and over, ad nauseum. If they want to do us all a big favor, next time around they’ll have a national primary in June or something. Get it over with in one day, and then go to the convention. Then we can go back to obsessing about the important stuff, like missing white girls and stuff.

Press the Meat starts out with Snotty Scotty (no doubt Timmy Potatohead will have lots of ‘gotcha’ moments), then an update from yesterday’s DNC Rules Committee meeting with Obamaite Tom Daschle & Clintonista Harold Ickes.

Turning to CBS, Faze the Nation has Howard Wolfson (Clinton Campaign), li’l Lindsey Graham, and Dick Durbin.

On Fux News Sunday, Weselface Wallace recylces Howard Wolfson, plus there’s Obamite David Bonior, the usual Fuxheads, and “Power Player of the Week” Brendan Sullivan.

At the Goebbels network, George Snufalufagus has David Axelrod (Obama’s chief strategist), and the Nazi Dough Boy, and Karl Rove. At the roundtable, it’s former Clinton spokesmodel Dee Dee Myers, the WaPost’s E.J. “poupon” Dionne, Matt Dowd, and George :jerk: Will.

Over at CNN’s Late Emission, Uboat Commander Wolf Blitzer has Chris Dodd and David Bonior for Obama, plus Kevin’s Senator Bill Nelson and icky Harold Ickes for Clinton, and Mark Sanford for Johnny McCain. And then there’s Fareed “token” Zakaria and some other assholes.

Later, on 60 Minutes, it’s more recycled stories as police officer Keith Herrera talks to Katie Couric about his involvement in one of the largest police scandals in Chicago history. Then David Martin reports on a “non-lethal weapon” to be used for crowd contro’,” and Lesley Stahl profiles Tom Perkins, about his really big fucking yacht.

My advice? Skip the boobleheads, and go see Poultygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead.

Have a good’un, y’all. And Happy June!