It’s Republican Day here on the last day of August, as all of us who aren’t in Minneapolis/St. Paul begin a week free from the oppressive stench of the Christofascist Neocon Zombie Brigade (as long as we don’t turn on our teevees, of course).

On Press the Meat, Tom Brokaw is live from the GOP Convention with Minnesota Governor Tim Pawlenty on to talk about what it feels like to get passed over for VP by Sarah “Harriet Miers” Palin. Plus, Maria Bartiromo, David Gregory, Doris Kearns Goodwin, Andrea Mitchell, Mike Murphy & Kelly O’Donnell will sit around the roundtable and tell us what a maverick that John McCain is.

On one of the most nauseating Faze the Nation episodes in memory, Bush Buddy Bobby Schieffer has Mayor 9/11, Guidi Ruliani, our old pal Joey “Droopy Dog” Lieberman, the disgraced (and disgraceful) McCain advisor Carly Fiorina, and NY Times empty suit, David Brooks.

It’s the Man of the Week himself over at Fux News, as Maverick Senator, War Hero, former POW, and everybody’s favorite crazy old uncle John “POW” McCain (who was once a POW) gets interrogated by Weaselface Wallace. We can only hope that Weaselface doesn’t apply the torture tactics that McCain had to face when he a POW. Although torture IS an effective method of obtaining information as war criminal baby killer former POW McCain will happily attest to. There’s be the usual “all-star” Fuxhead panel, plus Mike Miller, director of operations, Republican National Convention.

Fux News might get the big Kahuna, but the Goebbels network gets Mrs. Kahuna (#2) as Cindy “trollop” McCain shovels on some makeup to hang out with George Snufalufagus to answer the rumors about whether St. John vetted Sarah Palin by having her nude jello wrestle with Cindy while John sat in a dark corner, watching and masturbating while George’s other guest today, L’il Lindsey Graham, shoved a broken bamboo pole into Johnny’s rectum (because that’s then only way he can get off after being a POW). John Kerry will also be on to call bullshit on the Republicans, and axis of drivel is reunited as Sam :omg: Donaldson, Cokie “the hag” Roberts, and George :jerk: Will join little Matty Dowd around the roundtable.

On CNN’s Late Emission, Wolf Blitzer pulls a Boehner, talks to Crist, and chats with Tim “no money to fix bridges” Pawlenty, as well as being joined by Fred “see, I told you you shoulda picked me” Thompson, SC cracker Governor Mark Sanford, VA cracker Eric Cantor, assistant McCain POW mentioner, Nancy Pfotenhauer, token Democrats Tom Daschle and Chris Dodd, plus the guy determined to have the Bush Administration improve to 1 for 2 on Gulf hurricanes, FEMA Administrator.

Later, on 60 Minutes, Scott Pelley interviews Barack Obama and Joe Biden, Scott Pelley reports on Hamid Karzai’s irrational demands that the U.S. military quit killing civilians in air strikes, and, quite appropriate for the opening of the GOP convention, Anderson Cooper reports that “minimally conscious people” are being re-evaluated for degrees of consciousness.

Hey, no work for me tomorrow! Have a good one.

So, Granny left very early this morning (more like last night), on her way to Minneapolis to see Violet and Calvin (and the rest of the gang), and maybe get arrested at the RNC next week. Hopefully not. Too bad she’s not flying. I’d like to get a report on how the installation of floor to ceiling toilet partitions in the airport rest rooms is going (not sure if the ladies require the same “love barricades” that the gents need – we are a rather amorous bunch – or not). With all the Republicans coming to town, I hope they’ve got those things in place. I also hear all the hotel rooms with extra large closets have been booked for months. You think that porcine-faced Republican lady with all the purple heart band aids will be back again this year? Or maybe they could pass out POW tiger cage hats for everybody to wear. That’d be good for some yucks, huh?

Speaking of the midwest and the audacity of hope and all, Syracuse is in Chicago (Evanston, actually) to take on Northwestern at noon, my time. Yes, hope springs (or in this case, falls) eternal, and we are still undefeated as I write this. That may change by about 3:00 or so, and SU is about an 11 point underdog (started at 12, but apparently even at almost two touchdowns, nobody was jumping on the ‘cuse). It’s getting so bad that ESPN feels obliged to talk about how much we suck. Do they pile on to other teams that suck like that? Or is it just because of all the SU alum sportscasters out there, trying to look impartial (you know, the way Maureen Dowd likes to shit on every Democrat to prove she’s not one of those ‘librul media’ types)?

In a touch of irony, it was Northwestern’s Ryan Field that was used to film most of the football scenes in The Express (the upcoming movie about Ernie Davis), because it resembles SU’s old Archbold Stadium (a lot more than Dennis Quaid resembles Ben Schwartzwalder).

So, maybe Syracuse will surprise me and not suck. Not getting my hopes up (much). At least I’ll be able to holler and cuss at the teevee without disturbing anybody but the dogs (when the older one sees SU take the field, he’ll probably say “oh, shit, not football season again,” and slowly slink his way into another room).

I guess I can always turn off the game and play Madden ’09. I had the Eagles beat the Bills 87-0 the other day, and Donovan McNabb had 823 yards passing and I can’t remember how many TDs. That was fairly satisfying (I still don’t know what I’m doing with this game; I just kind of push all the buttons at once and see what happens).

Unfortunately, the bed gets kinda cold and lonely when the wife’s away. Maybe I can put the corn husk pillows in the microwave for a few minutes before I go to bed. Just isn’t the same though.

Anyhow, have a good Saturday. Maybe we’ll hear from Granny on the road.

And now for something completely different, a man with an orchestra up his nose.

Sorry, stayed up too late.

Hey, how about that weather, huh? It’s something, isn’t it? And that other stuff, too. That’s amazing. Yep, sure is.

I hope that was sufficiently non-confrontational.

Have a good day. If you want to. If not, that’s cool too.

I got nothing. Actually, I have a lot, but I’m afraid to write it, because it’ll just make a big stink. And I wouldn’t want to do that.

I did break down and watch a little of “the convention” last night. Some animatronic-looking guy with a huge chin, and that guy – Barry Switzer or Albert Schweitzer or whatever his name is, with the funny tie – from Montana (kept thinking it was a Polygrip commercial), and the guy Casey who is apparently the kid of another guy named Casey, and I watched Clinton for a while, but by then it was getting late and I didn’t last long (appreciated her wearing the SU orange, though).

None of this political speechifying does much for me anymore. Might sound good, but it’s so far divorced from what they ever actually do, it’s kind of a joke. I think I prefer to read the recap the next day (let’s face it; the only thing that matters is what the media tells us matters).

Right now, I just wish I’d gone to bed earlier.

I didn’t watch any of the festivities last night (although Michelle Obama is getting very good reviews this morning, despite being scary and, you know, so black and everything, and I caught a clip of Ted Kennedy, which was kind of sad, knowing that he probably won’t be around much longer). So, if you caught the show, what did you think?

So, the big Democratic Dog and Pony Show starts today. To those of you in Denver, you have my sympathy.

It’s a Democrats kinda week this week out there in TV Land.

On Press the Meat, it’s Sweet Caroline Kennedy and Rep. Nancy Pelosi (D-Botox), live from Denver Colorado (apparently there’s some sort of convention going on there this week). Plus a roundtable with PBS’s Gwen Ifill, Newsweek hack Jon Meacham & NBC News’ Chuck “the schmuck” Todd. If you actually want to watch, better check your local listings, ‘cuz the Olympics are still going on.

CBS’s Faze the Nation has an all-Democrat show, with Govs. Kathleen Sebelius, of Kansas, and Ed Rendell of Pa., plus Rep. Jesse Jackson Jr. of Ill.

More Democrats on Fux News Sunday, as Weaselface Wallace has Govs. Tim Kaine of Va, and Bill Ritter of Colorado, plus Obama campaign spokesman, Robert Gibbs. And the usual fuxheads, of course.

At the Goebbels network, George Snufalufagus has Obama campaign senior adviser David Axelrod, and the ever-slimy Rudy Giuliani. Around the roundtable, it’s political mastermind Donna Brazile, Cokie “the hag” Roberts, George :jerk:Will, and Mark “the snark” Halperin.

CNN’s Late Emission includes Sen. Bob Casey, D-Pa., Gov. Janet Napolitano, D-Ariz., Sen. Jack Reed, D-R.I., Rep. James Clyburn, D-S.C., and Terry McAuliffe, because, well, they needed somebody from Syracuse on the show.

Later, on 60 Minutes, this week’s recycled segments include Frank Wuterich, who was in on killing all those civilians in Hadithah, plus Dennis Quaid on how the miracle of modern medicine nearly killed his kids (of course what we’re all REALLY interested in is Dennis’ portrayal of former SU football coach – and the second most famous native West Virginian, behind Robert Byrd – Ben Schwartzwalder in the upcoming blockbuster movie, The Express).

Guess that’s about it. Have a good Sunday.

So, it’s Joe Biden. While I’m not Senator MBNA’s biggest fan, I think it’s a pretty good choice, politically. First, Joe was born in Scranton, which is where “The Office” takes place, and I love that show. Second, he’s Irish Catholic, and who can’t resist an Irish Catholic guy? Not only that, but he was born on Nov 20, which makes him a Scorpio. And finally, he’s a Syracuse University Law School alum, which means he’s got an in with 90% of all sportscasters out there.

Oh, I guess there might be a few other things in his favor. He’s very clean and articulate, for one thing (I guess that’s two things). He brings a lot of things to the table that Obama doesn’t. Like, he’s really, really white. And he’s got quite a bit of foreign policy experience, of course. Plus, while he can be kind of a dipshit at times (to Condi, “you’re the real deal!”), he’s pretty funny. Never misunderestimate a good sense of humor. He’s also got the experience, brains, and personality to be a pretty effective attack dog out on the campaign trail.

I suppose Biden was kind of a “safe” pick, and lots of people would rather have had him go for somebody else. Michael Moore wanted Caroline Kennedy, and it’s hard to pick against somebody Neil Diamond wrote a song for. And the Clinton people wanted Clinton, of course, but from what I read that was a no-go from the start, since her spouse was unwilling to do the kind of financial disclosure that any spouse not named Cindy McCain is required to do. Personally, I think Stephanie Tubbs Jones would have been a bold choice, bringing together a coalition of progressives, African-Americans, women, and dead people (hey, Obama’s from Chicago, where dead people are a powerful voting bloc).

But, all-in-all, I think Biden will do well. Now, who does that leave for Secretary of State?

So, another week comes to an end. Big announcement coming at 3:00. I don’t know as I’ll be able to “tune in,” so hopefully somebody will be able to update us. Especially if it’s really something “big.” Otherwise, I just wanna get this week over with.