So, Michael Phelps takes a hit off a bong, and one of his sponsors – Kellogg – channels our nation’s uptight Puritan roots, and gives him the axe. Unfortunately for Kellogg, some of its best customers are stoners (rather predictable, if you ask me; they must account for at least 90% of the adult Rice Krispies® treats consumption), who organized a boycott of Kellogg products that was so effective that, when you call the company hotline, you get a recording – not about the salmonella outbreak – but a message regarding the decision to drop Phelps. And now the Kellogg reputation seems to have taken a hit from the affair. A company that monitors over 5,000 companies had Kellogg at #9 before they gave Phelps the boot – and #83 afterward. Far out, man.

Time to just make pot legal, and start to put an end to our long national nightmare of alcoholism. Especially at the price of beer these days.

I confess I didn’t watch the President’s speech last night (I actually was pretty beat and went to bed way early, though had I been up, I’d have most likely been watching SU kick the crap out of St. John’s, giving Jim Boeheim an NCAA record 31 20-win seasons; not something anybody outside of CNY cares about, I know, but at least I have it on the DVR). By all accounts, the speech went over very well. Lots of applause and ovations of the standing type and hope oozing out all over. And Obama got to suck a little face with Hillary. Not sure who got a bigger thrill out of that.

As for the rebuttal by LA Governor Bobby Jindal (what, now we’re outsourcing our Governor’s jobs to India, too?), well, that didn’t go over so well. Apparently everybody thought he sucked, with both Republicans and Democrats alike characterizing his speech as “amateurish,” “laughable” and “a missed opportunity.” Oooh, Democrats want to build modern, high-speed rail in this country. How horrible! Schmuck. Hopefully he’ll be the one looking for an extension of unemployment benefits soon.

And, just to show that stupidity and assholiness aren’t limited to Republicans (though there may be a bit of a geographic correlation), now TN Gov Phil Bredesen says he might not take Federal money for unemployment benefits either. And chickenman GA Gov Sonny Perdue is yammering away over it, too. Seems they’re terrified that the benefits might become “permanent.” As if they can’t just ram legislation through any time they want. Hopefully Obama will side with Chuck Schumer, that they can either take the money – all of it – or leave it. We can use it up here in NY if these idiots don’t want it.

Supposed to warm up and be sunny here. A good day for you single guys to rub some ashes on your forehead and try and pick up Catholic chicks (turning Ash Wednesday into a genuine Hump Day).

Good luck!