While our esteemed Governor has been trying to screw us over by pushing for huge cuts in non-essential services like healthcare and education, and telling state workers they should forgo a negotiated 3% pay increase, it turns out he secretly doled out pay raises to his “inner circle” of as much as 46%. Way to go, Guv. And fuck you very much. I know Granny is happy for your pals, seeing as she routinely works 36 hours (if not more) for 24 hours pay. This is the same Governor who said the last thing you want to do is tax millionaires, ‘cuz that would be bad for the economy (or something; never did quite get his reasoning).

Paterson is doing such a great job, he currently trails Andy Cuomo by 32 points among Democrats for the 2010 nomination. If only there were more millionaires in NY, Paterson would be doing much better, I guess.

Poor Republicans. They’re so proud of (and charged up by) their unanimous opposition to the Stimulus Package, they decided to launch a “we’re back” campaign (which personally reminds me of the movie Poltergeist) using Aerosmith’s “Back in the Saddle” as a theme song. Unfortunately, they didn’t ask Aerosmith. They really need to stick to Toby Keith.

Stimulus bill signed, Obama now heads to Kristapea’s neck of the woods to launch the War on Foreclosures. Maybe KP can go see the President with her boss.

Halfway (almost) through the week, and more than halfway to March. Sure is nice to see some daylight after work again. Have a good one.

Ah, kids. They really do say the darndest things. Take Bristol Palin, for instance, who told Fux News that expecting teens to abstain from sex (as her mommy and many other foot-tapping GOP geniuses preach) is “not realistic at all.” Well, duh. She does confess that it would be a whole let better not to get knocked up at 18, though. Gee, let’s see, hard to keep young kids with hormones raging from having sex? Not good to get pregnant so young? If only there was some sort of, oh, I dunno, call it “contraceptive” or something that we could inform these kids about, just in case they lose their Purity Rings down the drain or something. Nah, that’s crazy talk.

In other news, the carnage continues during this month of accidents and pratfalls. Not one, but two models hit the deck while attempting to walk down the runway during Herve Leger by Max Azria’s Fall 2009 fashion show in New York. Just goes to show, your parents were right again: always wear sensible shoes (and clean underwear).

Apparently Uncle Dick is furious (furious, I tells ya) at the Chimp for not pardoning his boy Scooter. We’ll have to see what develops out of this (a tell-all book, perhaps). As the saying goes, hell hath no fury like an Angry Dick (and this one’s not shootin’ blanks, either).

Speaking of anger and chimps, a 200 pound “celebrity” chimpanzee named Travis flipped out and mauled a woman in Connecticut. Apparently he was incensed when they re-elected that weasel Joe Lieberman, and just couldn’t let it go. Sadly, the cops killed Travis before Fox could sign a deal for their new reality show, “When Chimps Attack.”

And let’s hear it for Arnold Schwarzenegger and California. You may recall (so to speak) their last Governor, Gray Davis, was ridden out of office on a rail, due to his fiscal irresponsibility and whatnot. Well, the Governator has racked up budget problems far worse than Davis ever managed.

They might have to have a “going out of business” sale, and there are rumors that Schwarzenegger may be willing to sell Southern California back to Mexico if the price is right (assuming they can agree on a plan to keep the filthy gringos from crossing the border and stealing jobs from honest, hard-working Mexicans first, though). Of course California’s system (making it easy to pass ballot propositions and next to impossible to pay for them) would make things tough for anybody.

But apparently Ahnuld has been particularly ineffective on both sides of the aisle (being from NY, where we have our own ineffective Governor – who is withholding a Medicare payment of $38 million to the hospital where I work, forcing us to get a bridge loan from Stony Brook University – I don’t really know much about CA politics, and am certainly in no position to criticize).

Looks like I need to get ready for work. Plus, the Today Show seems to feel a need to shove Karl Rove in my face this morning (I’d sooner watch the big fat cellulite covered ass in a thong commercial, frankly). No time to proofread today, so feel free to pick apart any typos and left-out words you come across. Have a good one.

February seems to be shaping up as the month of collisions. First, two satellites collide in Earth orbit, which may or may not be responsible for the fireballs over Texas. Then a commuter plane slams into a house near Buffalo. Two nuclear subs – one British and one French – collide in the Atlantic. And now Heron has collided with the sidewalk (hope you’re feeling better today). Be careful out there folks.

A pretty good weekend, sports-wise here. Syracuse basketball hopefully put their typical mid-season slump behind them by beating Georgetown on Saturday. Sure, they blew a 16-point lead and had to go to OT, but it’s always good to beat G’town, no matter what. The SU lacrosse team opened up the defense of their national championship by thumping Providence 22-3, and the women’s team (ranked #2 in the country) began what will hopefully be a title run with a 21-4 win over Lemoyne. The only bad news was that my old High School – ranked #1 in New York State – had its 38-game winning streak ended. Oh well.

It’s President’s Day today, for whatever that’s worth. No mail delivery today, and the banks are closed, I think. I don’t have the day off, but I do earn a comp day to use later (like maybe when the weather’s warm again).

Well, time to get this Monday party started.

On Press the Meat this week, Obama Senior Adviser David Axelrod is on to explain to us why a guy who’s supposed to be so smart can’t even manage to fill his Cabinet. Then a political roundtable with the National Journal’s Ron Brownstein, the Washington Post’s Eugene Robinson, Roger Simon of Politco, WSJ hack kimberley Strassel.

Faze the Nation has White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs, the always fun to watch Barney Frank, and comb-over master Dick Shelby.

David Axelrod brings his show over to Fux News Sunday, which also has Google Chairman and CEO Eric Schmidt and chief economist of Moody’s Economy.com, Mark Zandi. Plus a bunch of Fuxheads to keep Weaselface Wallace company.

At the Goebbels network, it’s “Bipartisan Debate” day, as George Snufalufagus has the thoroughly disgusting Peter King of NY, and the not quite as disgusting (‘cuz he kinda reminds me of the Mayor on “Carter Country”) l’il Lindsey Graham facing off against Chuck Schumer and Maxine Waters. Doesn’t sound like a fair fight to me. Then the Axis of Drivel is reunited as Sam :omg: Donaldson, Cokie (the hag) Roberts, and George :jerk: Will are joined by political mastermind Donna Brazile at the roundtable. And you haven’t lived until you’ve seen Sam Donaldson’s toupee in HD.

CNN’s Late Emission never seems to list its guest anymore. I think they’ve resorted to dragging homeless people in off the street, which, come to think of it, would be a much more informative show than the rest of these bozos have going on.

Later, on 60 Minutes, Lesley Stahl tells us that the “Buy American” clause in the Stimulus Bill has manufacturers her worried that they won’t be able to dump our goods overseas (which is silly, because the almost the only thing we export these days are jobs, and with the dollar so low, they can’t afford not to keep buying what little else we make these days). Scott Pelley reports on Paul Bishop who he warned his superiors at World Savings – the nation’s second largest savings and loan company – that many of the mortgages they were granting were misleading and predatory three years before the housing market crash. And Steve Kroft reports from Pakistan, where he interviews its new president, Asif Ali Zardari Islamic,about the Islamic insurgents trying to take over the country.

Have a good Sunday, y’all. Only 207 more days ’til football season.

Ah, Valentine’s Day. The time when a young man’s thoughts turn to, well, the same thing they turn to every other day of the year. Apparently it’s different for chicks (at least that’s what my nearly half a century of teevee watching has led me to believe). Otherwise, I haven’t gotten around to see what’s going on the world, having just watched another most excellent episode of BSG from last night, and now being in the middle of last night’s Psych (just occurred to me that I hadn’t put out a thread for today). I did see that the House Republicans are still the same patriotic and helpful bunch they’ve always been. Goodie for them. I hope it drives the Democrats to leave them out of the loop entirely. If they can’t be helpful then they’re best ignored. Now, back to the show….

Look out, it’s Friday the 13^th!

It’s already not a very good day in Western NY with last night’s plane crash in Clarence Center, near Buffalo, killing all on board and one on the ground. The house is still burning right now (and I get to see it live on the teevee). Having gone to school in Buffalo for a couple of years, I’m pretty familiar with the area. It’s maybe two or three miles off the NYS Thruway, so it must have been quite a site from there. Hopefully nobody I know was on the flight.

Of course, everything has to relate to either 9/11 or (especially if it’s Buffalo) Tim Russert, and in this crash we get a two-fer: one woman on the flight was returning to Buffalo for a scholarship being set up at Canisius high school in memory of her husband (who was killed in the twin towers on September 11^th). Tim Russert went to the same high school.

Speaking of planes, Smithsonian Institution scientists have confirmed that the birds that brought down flight whatever the hell it was that landed in the Hudson River (you may have heard about that) were Canadian geese. The lo-cal news twit just told me that “they still don’t know if the geese lived in the area or migrated there.” Does that really freakin’ matter? Is it better, or worse, if these were “out of town” geese? Or is it that we must attempt to eradicate all manner of flying creatures within a 100 mile radius of every airport? Hey, let’s face it people, going up in the air in a big aluminum can carries some inherent risks. Deal with it. I just thank goodness these weren’t illegal Mexican geese, or we’d have the Palin family flying around the area in helicopters, blasting away with their shotguns.

It’s also shaping up to be a crappy day for my sister and her husband. Their 12-yr old German Shepherd is apparently in pretty tough shape, and they may need to make “the decision” today. When it comes to critters, my sister and I very much alike (I think we get it from our dad), and I know how she’s feeling. It tears me up just thinking about it. Why can’t dogs live as long as friggin’ parrots? It’s not fair, and it’s even worse that you almost always have to intervene and decide to let them go. I just want mine to be healthy as long as they’re around, and wake up dead one day. That would be hard enough to deal with.

Granny will be working on a crappy unit today, so who knows when she’ll get home. The other night, it wasn’t until 9:30. Don’t worry, taxpayers (or Governor Blinky), she didn’t get paid past 4:30.

Speaking of our esteemed Governor, he’s quite upset about Saturday Night Live’s parody of him. Apparently, making fun of him is responsible for the 37% unemployment rate among the disabled. I suppose his draconian cuts to Medicare, Medicaid, Education, Healthcare, and Social Services will be good for the disabled, though. After all, the only real way to put them to work is to preserve the Bush/Pataki tax cuts for the wealthy while the Feds keep funding their “retention incentives” (thanks, Sue), which they hopefully won’t have to pay taxes on, because that would somehow be bad.

There must be some good news out there somewhere today. About all I can think of is that the Mega-Millions jackpot is up to $85 million. Of course, that’s really only good news if I win.

Maybe something good will happen during the day.

So, looks like we’ve got a deal on the new stimulus package (assuming you find a milquetoast agreement between a bunch of spineless weasels stimulating). Oh, I don’t doubt that there are some good things in there, but I think we’re gonna have to put a few trillion more dollars on the tab to get things turned around. I’d really hoped to have a WPA program to rebuild things, and maybe a CCC-like project to give younger folks the opportunity to see what it’s like to work while doing some good.

Instead, Democrats had to suck up to Republicans like Susan Collins (who managed to strip protection for whistleblowers out of the bill), just to get something passed. Sounds like Harry Reid tried to screw over Nancy Pelosi on the whole deal, too. Or maybe it was the other way around. Whatever.

The financial CEOs were less than impressive yesterday testifying before Congress, attempting to justify their huge bonuses in light of their companies using taxpayer dollars to fund them. Barney Frank appeared to stump them by asking why they should get a bonus for doing the right thing, and wondering what they’d do differently if they didn’t get a bonus.

Speaking of bailouts, Nadia Suleman, the poor woman’s version of Angelina Jolie, now has a website up accepting donations to help fund her baby jones. Donate enough, and maybe you’ll get an embryo pendant or something (at least a Sammy the Stem Cell pin). I think all those anti-stem cell research right to lifers ought to be falling all over themselves bailing her out, personally. She’s a great poster child for the cause, and it’d be a helluva lot cheaper than putting money into healthcare and education for everybody’s kids (which would be welfare, and therefore bad).

Ford’s Theater just reopened after an 18-month, $25 million renovation, and the President and his wife were on hand. Not sure how good an idea that was, but it looks like they both came away unscathed, which is more than I can say for a dead Russian satellite and a US Iridium bird (part of the system that provides satellite phone service), that collided yesterday, destroying both. They’re tracking about 500 pieces of debris so far, and there’s a slight possibility that the ISS will be affected. As we get more crap up there, this sort of thing will no doubt become more frequent.

Oh well, look like it’s about time to get off the couch, and get ready for work. Have a good day.

CEOs from 8 bailed-out banks are heading to DC today to do a little sight-seeing, check out the museums, and suffer the faux outrage and tsk-tsking of the House Financial Services Committee. Expect a lot of stern questioning that might eventually lead to a non-binding resolution (but probably not).

All this tough talk of more transparency has got the banks all riled up. In fact, Goldman Sachs and Morgan Stanley – beneficiaries of $10 Billion of our money – are so irked by all this ill treatment that they want to pay back that money as soon as possible. Except, they don’t have the money to pay it back right now. But, boy-howdy, if they did, they’d sure show us for making them take our dirty money!

Otherwise, it’s another day where you probably don’t want to go online to see how your retirement fund is doing, what with the market taking another dump yesterday. Don’t worry, I’m sure Congress will bail you out, after which you can resent them for it, and threaten to pay them back (someday). Hey, just be grateful you’re not a member of the Carpenter’s Union, Local 747, who had their pension money invested in Bernie Madoff’s ponzi scheme.

There was some good news yesterday for us old dogs out there, as 10-yr old Stump won best of show at Westminster, setting the record as the oldest winner ever. Apparently he had to come out of retirement because his pension fund is in the crapper, too.

Ah, well, spring is in the air (for a day, anyway), with a high of 55 expected here today. A good day to call in sick, if you can, and take a walk. Or maybe see if you’ve got half a dozen or so embryos kicking around in your freezer, and get them implanted.

I didn’t watch the President’s press conference last night. I probably would have had I thought of it, but I didn’t. I may have inadvertently recorded it though, so maybe I’ll get to see it yet (and, really, there isn’t much you can’t find on the Internet these days anyway). But I did catch a lot of feigned outrage from Republicans like l’il Lindsey Graham (who came out of his closet and saw his shadow, meaning six more weeks of whining). Funny they don’t mind throwing buckets of money at banks, but the thought of spending money on putting people to work makes them apoplectic. Neither stimulus bill does enough, IMHO, but the Senate version sucks more than the House one.

I seriously don’t care if A-Rod took a “banned substance” that he doesn’t really remember what it was but he’s really, really sorry about. Although, I did just watch a CSI episode where some ultimate fighter dude had ‘roid rage and ripped some guy’s arm off, and then ripped his own biceps muscle out using a piece of broken mirror. Pretty icky. So, Rodriguez probably shouldn’t do that.

Speaking of drugs I don’t care if athletes do, I saw something about why dope was made illegal. Turns out, in the twenties, they wanted cheap labor in the South and Southwest, and – as we all know – cheap labor = Mexicans. So, there were lots of Mexicans coming in to do our crap work. Being poor, they weren’t exactly out there drinking top-shelf booze, and instead were smoking that silly little weed that grew pretty much everywhere.

Then came the Depression, and those dirty Mexicans were taking “our” jobs, so there was an effort to vilify them (some things really don’t ever change, do they?) by making dope illegal and painting it as a horrible narcotic (which it isn’t) that made everybody instantly insane and/or criminal when they smoked it. The big push to make it illegal came from powerful politicians from the South and Southwest.

So, now we have this ridiculous, hugely expensive, and never-ending “war on drugs” (hey, Republicans, want an idea on how to cut spending?) that makes regular people criminals, and makes murderous criminals rich. All over a plant that God put on this planet that grows everywhere outside the polar ice caps.

I guess they think they know more than God. Blasphemous and shameful, indeed.

Another week begins. Not a whole lot going on, as far as I can tell. Some sort of nonsense at the Grammys last night, involving a couple of people I’ve never heard of and really don’t care about. Looks like Australia is on fire. The stimulus deal will apparently get debated on and maybe voted on this week in the Senate. As far as I can tell, it’s a big friggin’ joke that doesn’t seem as if it’ll do much of anything. I thought we were supposed to get some big WPA-like programs to rebuild the nation’s infrastructure and put people to work. Guess not. That’s what happens when you have a government run by a bunch of crooks. And Governor Blinky isn’t much help, either.