The Super Flu has worked its way to my county now, with a suspected case causing a nearby high school to close. I guess it was inevitable, what with us being only 40 miles from Mexico. Lot of pigs up that way, too, I think. The lo-cal news is now loaded with stories of school districts doing “MRSA Level” cleaning of schools and buses (MRSA being the most recent big scare, of course), interspersed with flashes of the “Swine Flu Hotline” numbers. We’re at Level 5, bitches! Time to get rolling with that duct tape and plastic wrap.

This would be a good time to re-read Stephen King’s “The Stand” (or George R. Stewart’s “Earth Abides”) Maybe they can run “The Stand” mini-series 24/7 on all channels (interrupted only by breaking news of adding new flu cases to a giant electronic map – kinda like Stephen Colbert: “Better Know an Outbreak” – and commercials for Tamiflu®). Should I take this opportunity to remind everyone that Donald Rumsfeld is the former Board Chairman and a shareholder in Gilead Sciences Inc. (former Sec State George Schultz is also on its Board), which developed and holds the patent on Tamiflu®? :paranoid:

On the bright side, the economy still sucks, apparently (yesterday’s slight rise in the Stock Market notwithstanding). On the heels of GM’s decision to kill Pontiac (thereby finally putting an end to the use of the Ottowa Chief – who lead, arguably, the most successful Indian war against Europeans, kicking some major British ass – as a car mascot), it appears that Chrysler’s negotiations with its creditors have broken down. Is the maker of the Edsel and the Pinto destined to become the only US automaker?

In a somewhat ironic twist, the judge in the Fort Dix (where the first – that I remember, anyway – “Swine Flu” scare began in 1976 – before Carter was elected, for those of you who get their history from Michelle Bachman) terrorist attack case (or whatever that was) handed out the final sentences to the “plotters” yesterday. The final tally? Four life terms and one 33-yr sentence, proving that stupidity, apparently, is neither excuse nor reason for leniency.

In a case of what, for a politician, is remarkable consistency, global warming denier James Inhoufe is now denying that Arlen Specter’s jump to the other team is anything but good for the Republican Party.

Breaking News: partial building collapse in NYC. Officials have tentatively identified the cause as Swine Flu.

OK, so Arlen Specter. This is a bit like Chamberlain giving Poland to Hitler and declaring victory. Dead Man Walking Specter was about to lost to a wingnut in the Republican primary, paving the way for a Democrat to take the seat in the general election. So the Democrats “win” by promising Specter the support of the leadership (and no primary), in exchange for, um, well, in exchange for nothing.

Specter will continue to be a right-wing champion and vote against things like the rights of working folks to organize, and the Democrats get a mythical filibuster-proof majority on everything but the important votes, when traitors like Joe Lieberman, Arlen Specter, Claire McCaskill, Jane Harman, Dianne Feinstein, etc., will prove what “moderates” they are by caving in to the Republican talking points du jour.

Oh, not all of them at the same time and over the same issues, but under the limp-wristed “leadership” of Harry Reid, they all know they can act as they please (and against the will of those they claim to represent). Still, it’s fun to see all the wingnuts freak out over this.

Back to more normal temperatures today, thank goodness. It was 85 at lunch time yesterday, and down into the 50’s by the time I got the boys out to the park (and a slightly chilly 37 right now). I very much prefer the cooler temperatures for a lot of reasons, not the least of which is that it keeps the goddamn bugs down.

Speaking of bugs, the swine flu bug is now blamed for the death if a Texas toddler. A shame, of course, but one has to wonder why we don’t get this kind of media attention for each of the 35,000 annual US flu deaths every year. I guess pigs are just scarier (though not as scary as birds, of course).

Oh well, better get ready for the Today Show. No doubt they’ll have some very, very scary flu news, and they just teased a story on a “pregnant woman who was hit by a car while being chased by a bear” in Colorado Springs (OK, it was a slow-moving car – perhaps being driven by a cartoon machine gun wielding man). Doesn’t get any better than that (unless either she or the bear had the flu). Sure, the story is, like, a week old, but it’s not like Today is a news program.

Please pardon any typos I may have here, but it’s tough to type, what with being triple-gloved and wearing a full-body haz-mat suit. But these precautions are necessary, since there are now some 50 cases of mild flu in the US, including one suspected case just a county or so away from me. And they’re dropping like flies in Mexico City, with 149 152 deaths now blamed on the evil swine flu. Of course, what with the population of the Greater Mexico City Metro Area being about 22 million people and the death rate in Mexico being 4.78 per thousand, about 290 people die every daythere. And about 100 people a day die in the US in car accidents. Still, the flu is nothing to sneeze at. 🙄

Or is it? Wendy Wright, president of Concerned Women for America is, um, concerned that this swine flu outbreak is just a scam to get evil baby killer Kathleen Sebelius rammed through as head of HHS. Personally, I think it’s a plot by our Islamic president, in cahoots with the CIA and the Al-Kayders, to unleash a plague upon the free world (the fact that the normally pork-eschewing mooslums would resort to the use of “swine” flu just proves how shamefully ignominious they are).

We must, however, persevere, and I’m not afraid of being afraid for the good of our great nation (minus Texas, of course; are they gone yet?). Not as long as the Internet is still working, anyway, so I can keep up on the important shit, like up to the minute flu updates (this just in, a new case confirmed in Israel!) and tips on staying safe (they just passed along these tips on the lo-cal news: stay away from sick people, wash your hands, and if you’re sick, stay away from the rest of us).

In other important news, Carla Bruni visited Span and Princess Letizia, :hubba: Osama bin Laden is dead (maybe), conservatives are too stupid to know that Stephen Colbert is kidding, Rush Limbaugh is an asshole, and Kate Walsh’s divorce is getting ugly. I have no idea who Kate Walsh is, but obviously it’s important that I know she’s getting divorced.

We get a break from the heat today, but it’s still gonna be hot to the east and south of us. Especially inside those haz-mat suits.

It was back in 1976, as I recall, when I and the other local Eloi heard the sirens, dropped what we were doing, and dutifully marched off to Manley Field House to be vaccinated (with an air gun, which I thought was pretty cool at the time; do they still use those things?) against the dreaded Swine Flu. :omg: Of course, the Swine Flu scare turned out to be a load of crap. One poor soldier at the erotically named Fort Dix in NJ – David Lewis – did die after contracting the flu (as for what really killed him, I’ll leave that to the Alex Jones types out there), but another 500 or so soldiers were tested and diagnosed with the flu, though they weren’t even symptomatic. Lewis was the only know casualty. So, excuse me if I’m not feeling properly terrified today.

The vaccine? Well, depending on who you believe, that killed hundreds (and made more seriously ill), and was believed to have been responsible for causing a neurological disease known as Guillain-Barré Syndrome (GBS). In fact, a CDC study claims that the annual flu vaccine everyone’s always trying to shove in your arm carries a one in a million risk of causing GBS. Even without adjusting for the government bullshit factor (which probably brings it down to one in a 100,000 or so), that’s hundreds of cases a year of a really painful illness that can last for months (if not years) – with a 5% or so death rate – all because it “might” prevent the flu (if they guess correctly and the strains don’t mutate – which they tend to do).

Whereas I’m a reasonably healthy individual with a reasonably intact immune system (in spite of my rather bad habits), and I don’t work in NYC high schools (have a nice day at work, Sue! Public health expert Mike Bloomberg says stay home if you feel sick – a genius, that man), I reckon I’ll take my chances. I’ll take a few days of feeling crappy with the flu over a few months of muscle weakness, paralysis, and possible permanent nerve damage. Especially since I haven’t actually gotten the flu in longer than I can remember.

Oh, I know, “I got the flu shot last year and I didn’t get the flu.” Ergo, the flu shot prevented the flu. Yeah, and I keep a lucky coin in my pocket that keeps me from getting attacked by tigers.

B-b-b-b-but it’s the swine flu, and that’s a really scary name. Plus, it’s coming from godless Mexico! And it killed millions in 1918!

Well, actually, it wasn’t the flu virus that killed all those people way back when. It was actually bacteria – bacterial pneumonia, in fact – that did them in.

You should at least feel heartened by the fact that we have “the best health care system in the world.” Assuming you can afford it, and the Governor hasn’t closed your local hospital, of course.

Personally, I think I’ll just stock up on the oil of oregano (well, we already have a little bottle of it, which is about as “stocked up” as we need, since a little dab’ll do ya), and stay the hell away from both people (which I tend to do anyway), and pigs.

It’s supposed to be miserably hot here today (again, but even more so, as we’re supposed to hit 90). I hate to break the news to the dogs, but there’ll be no going to the park today. On the bright side, I have the first of four full days of AJAX and ColdFusion training today (yes, I’ll be able to scrub the sink while generating nearly unlimited amounts of energy at room temperature by Friday), which means I get to hang out at home for an extra hour or so. That’s good, ‘cuz ratfaced Matt Lauer is gonna tell me how to “stay safe” from the dreaded swine flu outbreak.

I guess there just aren’t enough terrorists out there to scare us with these days.

Oh, and Happy Birthday, ma.

Today on Press the Meat, it’s two – count ’em two – exclusives! Obama Press Secretary Robert Gibbs talks torture, and Jordan’s King Abdulla talks about his meeting with fellow Muslim Barack Obama. Then there’ll be a discussion on the bogus “100 Day” yardstick with Jon Meacham of Newsweek and presidential historian Doris Kearns Goodwin.

On Faze the Nation it’s St. John McCain, Pat Leahy, Editor-in-Chief of the Daily Beast, Tina Brown, and Bob Woodward.

On Fux News Sunday, Weaselface Wallace has Larry Summers, Carl Levin and Kit Bond. Plus “Power Player of the Week,” commanding general of Walter Reed, Maj. Gen. Carla Hawley-Bowland. And a whole bunch of fuxheads.

At the Goebbels network, George Snufalufagus chats with Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad Then its a roundtable with George :jerk: Will, Donna Brazile, Matt Dowd, the New York Times’ David Sanger, and U.S. Editor of the Financial Times, Chrystia Freeland.

Later, on 60 Minutes, Lesley Stahl talks to VP Joe Biden, Scott Pelley talks about coal, and Bob Simon reports on an elephant orphanage in Kenya.

Have a good Sunday.

Here in the ‘Cuse, today is supposed to be the kind of day that some people (mostly women, I think, based on the local news twit’s reaction to the local weather dork’s forecast this morning) seem to think is “really great,” but which I think sucks. That is, it’s supposed to be hot — in the upper 80’s, which is too damn hot for me (and the dogs). And my wife, so maybe it’s not a “girl” thing after all. Come to think of it, I seem to recall a time when I was young and actually liked the heat (that was back when heat meant the beach and bikinis, as opposed to sweat and bugs). So maybe it’s just a miserable old bastard thing (speaking only for myself, of course).

How fitting it is, then, that I’m here watching a show about an effort to build a million square mile solar shield made of 16 trillion 2-foot diameter lenses (that are a micron thick and have enough tiny little holes in them to diffract about 2% of the solar energy passing through) and launch it into space. The idea is to put it at the “Lagrangian” (or L1-point), 1 million miles away from Earth. This is a a position in space where there’s no gravitational influence from either the sun or the Earth — so the shield will just kind of hang out there and not move. Little solar powered gizmos will keep them evenly spaced apart.

As an aside, here’s another difference between men and women. They’re getting ready to put a rocket into space to see if these lenses can survive the launch, and after they discuss how many thousands of pounds of explosive hydrogen and nitrous oxide this thing’s loaded with, and how it’s basically a big ass bomb, one of the folks involved in the launch remarks, “I hope it doesn’t blow up.” Then the countdown begins, “10…9…8….” At which point, my wife gets up and leaves the room. Let me tell ya, when a big ass bomb is about to blow up, guys do not leave the room.

Anyhow, according to the egghead who thought this idea up — Roger Angel; Johnny’s brother, I think — deflecting 1.8% of the sun’s energy is enough to return the planet’s average temperature to what it was back before the industrial revolution.

Sounds good, but as far as today goes, I can either sweat my ass off cutting the grass (which I hate to do, because it only seems to encourage it) and trying to get some other shit done around the house, or I can take the dogs up to visit their cousins in the country, where it will hopefully be cooler (and there are a couple of ponds to splash around in), and I can sit in the shade with my sister and her husband, and we can watch watch the dogs play while sipping a cold beverage or two.

Hmm, tough call there.

I’m thinking of maybe robbing a bank or something (maybe torturing the branch manager to get him to open the safe), but am getting mixed messages from the Obama administration. On the one hand, I figured Obama and Senate Majority “Leader” Harry Reid would consider it too much of a “distraction” to investigate (let alone prosecute and incarcerate) me. I mean, let’s face it. It would just look like they’d be seeking retribution for my illegal activities. Sounds cool.

On the other hand, though, the Administration continues its attempts to erode civil and legal rights, most recently asking SCOTUS to overrule long-standing legal precedent that police can’t question you without a lawyer present.

You know, I really have to wonder just what the fuck they taught Obama at Harvard Law School. And I think we ought to “re-educate” anybody that took Obama’s Constitutional Law courses at Chicago Law School, because I’m starting to think he’s got the whole “Constitution” thing (in particular those pesky first ten amendments) woefully wrong.

Hell, I thought Obama would undo the damage the Bush Administration has done to our Civil Liberties over the past eight years. I never expected him to make things worse.

The man gives a good speech, though; you gotta give him that.

I know, I know; gotta get my mind right. Obama’s better than Bush, for sure. And Bush wasn’t as bad as Hitler. And Hitler loved his dogs.

In other news, Jim Tedisco tried to get Sam Seder’s absentee ballot tossed out in the tightly contested NY-20 special election.

Sam told me that he found out through a friend of his who had contacted the county for the list of challenged ballots. “He was sending out e-mails to people saying, check on this list to see if your name was on it,” Sam said. And he was quite surprised to find his name on the list: “I thought there was no way that my ballot was gonna be challenged.”

Sam was none too impressed when I told him that the Tedisco campaign alleged that he wasn’t a resident of the district. “Jerks,” he said. “I mean, I could tell you I’ve attended far more Livingston town meetings than Jim Tedisco has.”

He added: “I just think it’s ironic that this guy doesn’t live in the 20th, and he’s challenging my residency.”

I reckon Sam might have something to say about that on BRL (unless he mentioned it yesterday, of course; I’m a day behind).

Yet another blow for the champions of sacred life yesterday, as the FDA graciously decided to comply with a court order to make the “morning after pill” (aka, “Plan B” – plan “A” of course being the chastity pledge) available over-the-counter to 17-yr olds (once the drug companies officially request it, which shouldn’t take long; after all, it increases potential market considerably). Unlike the Berverly Hills RU-486 “abortion” pill, Plan B prevents fertilization and, to be effective, needs to be taken within 72-hours of doing the horizontal bop.

God-fearing folks (most of whom do have a lot to fear from God, IMHO, and have a big surprise in store for themselves come judgment day) oppose this move because the pill might possibly (though it’s quite unlikely) interfere with the implantation of a fertilized egg. Randall Terry says it encourages immorality. Or something. I think the right to lifers just oppose everything on general principle. Though “principle” probably isn’t the best word to describe the psychological motivation of a group of people dedicated to the sanctity of life and willing to murder doctors to prove it.

Personally, I think the way to make Plan B (and RU-486) more palatable to the these folks is to require that each dose come with a handgun. That should get the NRA on board, and once that happens, Operation Rescue will fall in line. Plus, a partnership between gun makers and the pharmaceutical industry just seems like a no-brainer.

Speaking of guns, here’s an idea that’s so perfect, I can’t believe nobody’s thought of it before. The Ohio Militia is calling for “a million armed militia members” to march on DC this July 4^th. Oh, it’ll be peaceful, of course. Just heavily armed. I can’t imagine anything bad happening there (and it really ought to cut down on the counter-protesting).

Poor misunderstood former Senator Larry Craig just can’t catch a break. Initially, government officials and youth leaders in Craig’s hometown of Midvale, Idaho were ecstatic when Larry offered to sponsor the town’s Little League team, after the team’s sponsor of 17 years – Miller’s Weed & Feed – was forced to close its doors in March, another victim of the flagging economy.

Craig’s intention was to name the team after the area’s two remaining major employers: the Midvale Chicken Processing facility, and the nearby Washington County turkey farm. Unfortunately, “Midvale Cock Gobblers” wasn’t a name the locals were comfortable with, and support for Craig’s gesture quickly evaporated. The search for a new team sponsor continues.

A spokesman for Craig indicated that the four dozen “MCG” team t-shirts already printed will be donated to Catholic Charities.

OK, I made that up.

Seeing as we’ve been torturing the Earth for so long, I think it’s appropriate today to celebrate the torture of humans. Not that the Earth is torturing us, of course (though Mother Nature does have a bit of a cruel streak at times). Mostly, we do it to each other. But at least we do it for good reason.

For instance, torturing detainees yielded “high value” information, according to President Obama’s national intelligence director, Dennis Blair. Blair wasn’t particularly specific (a few minutes on the rack ought to change that), but he did say “high value information came from interrogations in which those methods were used and provided a deeper understanding of the al Qa’ida organization that was attacking this country….”

Well, there you go. We were able to draw up an organizational chart on a group that, by definition, has little if any structure. Probably forced the bad guys to do it themselves using Vizio (which can be a bit like torture in and of itself, until you get used to it). No wonder al Qa’ida seems to have hundreds of “number two” men. And #2 out there in the mountains of Afghanistan is no picnic (especially in the winter). But wait, there’s more!

Our brave and noble inquisitors also managed to ferret out “‘a couple of nebulous links’ between al Qaida and Iraq”.

The Bush administration put relentless pressure on interrogators to use harsh methods on detainees in part to find evidence of cooperation between al Qaida and the late Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein’s regime, according to a former senior U.S. intelligence official and a former Army psychiatrist.
[…]
Cheney’s and Rumsfeld’s people were told repeatedly, by CIA . . . and by others, that there wasn’t any reliable intelligence that pointed to operational ties between bin Laden and Saddam, and that no such ties were likely because the two were fundamentally enemies, not allies.”

Senior administration officials, however, “blew that off and kept insisting that we’d overlooked something, that the interrogators weren’t pushing hard enough, that there had to be something more we could do to get that information,” he said.

That’s right. Without torturing people, the Bush administration wouldn’t even have managed to come up with a half-assed justification for invading a country that wasn’t a threat – imminent or otherwise – to the United States or the rest of the world.

Oh, they could have used some illegal wiretaps, I suppose. Back in the olden days, people like Jane Harman thought that stuff was just peachy.

[According to Harman] when the U.S. Government eavesdropped for years on American citizens with no warrants and in violation of the law, that was “both legal and necessary” as well as “essential to U.S. national security,” and it was the “despicable” whistle-blowers (such as Thomas Tamm) who disclosed that crime and the newspapers which reported it who should have been criminally investigated, but not the lawbreaking government officials.

Now that the government is spying on her, though (albeit legally, and with a warrant), Jane has seen the light.

I’m just very disappointed that my country — I’m an American citizen just like you are — could have permitted what I think is a gross abuse of power in recent years. I’m one member of Congress who may be caught up in it, and I have a bully pulpit and I can fight back. I’m thinking about others who have no bully pulpit, who may not be aware, as I was not, that someone is listening in on their conversations, and they’re innocent Americans.

Sounds like Jane’s gettin’ serious.

Looks like Billy Donohue of the Catholic League (I thought that was something to do with the CYO, but I guess not) has his panties in a knot (or maybe his cilice is just too tight) over the upcoming Ron Howard sequel to the Da Vinci Code, “Angels and Demons.” Surprise, surprise. Even less surprising is the fact that Brother Bill hasn’t even seen the movie, and is spreading lies about it (for a $5 donation, you can get a whole booklet of bullshit, which I guess is cheaper than buying a bible – not that I would ever equate the Bible with Bill Donohue’s bullshit).

Back in one of my past lives, I used to run movie theatres. Long before “The Last Temptation of Christ” was released, I got calls from the Jesus crowd urging me not to show this horrible movie (like I personally booked the movies we showed 🙄 ). The calls ranged from polite to somewhat deranged. When I finally got to see the movie, I couldn’t understand what the problem was. I don’t recall there being anything in there that would have even made my mom uncomfortable.

But the mindless little sheep were told it was an evil movie, and so there was no need to see and judge it for themselves. Yet, when Mel Gibson came out with his torture porn, gore fest “The Passion of the Christ,” the mortification of the flesh crowd wet their chastity belts in their excited rush to the box office.

Speaking of demons, Dick Cheney is running his mouth again, bashing the President of the United States (isn’t that still considered treason, or was that just for the last bunch? I thought there were supposed to be “limits” to free speech?) on Fux News in an interview with meathead Sean Hannity (it pains me to no end that all these assholes seem to be of Irish descent; we’re supposed to be a race of soulful artists and poets, not loudmouth assholes).

“I’ve been concerned at the way we’ve been presented overseas… What I find disturbing is the extent to which he’s gone to Europe and seemed to apologize profusely, been to Mexico and seemed to apologize there,” said Cheney. “The world out there, both our friends and foes, will be quick to take advantage of that… I don’t think we have much to apologize for.”

Really, Dick? Hey, isn’t time you took a vacation? I hear Spain is beautiful this time of year. Maybe Uncle Dick is just getting a little stressed out with the release of the torture memos and the rising clamor for an investigation. Sadly, I don’t think Dick and and his merry band of torturers have much to worry about, but you’d think he’d shut up and show a little more appreciation to Obama, who apparently just wants to “move on.”

Watch out, Dick. If you keep pushing him, Obama may just turn into that closet liberal all you wingnuts keep claiming he is.

Looks like there was a big fire at Jimmy Dean’s house in Virginia last night. I know what you’re thinking: “Jimmy Dean’s still alive?” I guess so. Apparently he doesn’t eat his own sausage. I must say, I’m kind of surprised to hear he’s only 80 years old. Seems like his TV show was forever ago.