Please pardon any typos I may have here, but it’s tough to type, what with being triple-gloved and wearing a full-body haz-mat suit. But these precautions are necessary, since there are now some 50 cases of mild flu in the US, including one suspected case just a county or so away from me. And they’re dropping like flies in Mexico City, with 149 152 deaths now blamed on the evil swine flu. Of course, what with the population of the Greater Mexico City Metro Area being about 22 million people and the death rate in Mexico being 4.78 per thousand, about 290 people die every daythere. And about 100 people a day die in the US in car accidents. Still, the flu is nothing to sneeze at. 🙄

Or is it? Wendy Wright, president of Concerned Women for America is, um, concerned that this swine flu outbreak is just a scam to get evil baby killer Kathleen Sebelius rammed through as head of HHS. Personally, I think it’s a plot by our Islamic president, in cahoots with the CIA and the Al-Kayders, to unleash a plague upon the free world (the fact that the normally pork-eschewing mooslums would resort to the use of “swine” flu just proves how shamefully ignominious they are).

We must, however, persevere, and I’m not afraid of being afraid for the good of our great nation (minus Texas, of course; are they gone yet?). Not as long as the Internet is still working, anyway, so I can keep up on the important shit, like up to the minute flu updates (this just in, a new case confirmed in Israel!) and tips on staying safe (they just passed along these tips on the lo-cal news: stay away from sick people, wash your hands, and if you’re sick, stay away from the rest of us).

In other important news, Carla Bruni visited Span and Princess Letizia, :hubba: Osama bin Laden is dead (maybe), conservatives are too stupid to know that Stephen Colbert is kidding, Rush Limbaugh is an asshole, and Kate Walsh’s divorce is getting ugly. I have no idea who Kate Walsh is, but obviously it’s important that I know she’s getting divorced.

We get a break from the heat today, but it’s still gonna be hot to the east and south of us. Especially inside those haz-mat suits.