It sounds like the Iranians put Katherine Harris (or Ken Blackwell) in charge of their presidential election. Either that, or they’re using electronic voting. Mirhossein Mousavi says he definitely won, but Iran State media has declared President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad the winner. Somehow I don’t think Mousavi will cave in as quickly as John Kerry did. Unless Ahmadinejad has him shot or something. Hey, I know. Maybe the CIA should stage a coup and overthrow the Iranian government. I mean, what could go wrong with that?

Yesterday, the UN Security Council voted to tighten sanctions on North Korea. In a somewhat predictable response, North Korea says it will now weaponize its plutonium. You know, China really needs to step in and deal with li’l Kim. It would be a very bad thing indeed if Obama felt pressured to respond militarily to all this, and we don’t have an Asian version of Israel to do the dirty work. The North Korean people are really getting the shit end of the stick here, and I’m not sure how you “sanction” a country whose government doesn’t seem to care if its citizens starve to death while shivering in the dark. I mean, at least it was warm in New Orleans.

Well, now I know why our lawmakers are so up in arms over the prospect of putting “terrorists” in US prisons. They’re afraid they’ll start throwing bar mitzvahs, like the one Tuvia Stern threw for his son down in “The Tombs” in NYC. Stern was convicted of first-degree grand larceny, but that didn’t stop him from throwing a celebration that included live music, catered Kosher food, and some 60 guests. I wonder if they used “the chair” for the chair dance?

I dunno, the politicians seem to be afraid that the terrorists would convert the other inmates into radical Islamic fundamentalism. Sound more like the terrorists need to worry about being converted to Judaism.

Apparently the former Miss California – Carrie Whatshername – went on Larry King to “set the record straight.” Really, seriously now. Isn’t this chick’s 15 minutes more than up? Why does she keep getting so much face time on the teevee? Are we really that hard up for bleach blonds with fake tits that they have to keep dragging this dimwit out? Go find one with a brain.

Or at least one with a porn video on the Internet.