The US continues to win hearts and minds in Pakistan, one funeral at a time. Oh, those pesky drones.

Bad news for you Coast to Coast AM fans: the first guy to ever see the Lizard Man was murdered. This is clearly a government conspiracy, on par with Obama being a Vulcan, chemtrails, and the Twin Towers being wired for demolition by the government. And I just heard a black helicopter fly over (yes, I can tell what color it is just from the sound). Wake up, America!

So, what’s up with this Mark Sanford guy, anyway? Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t mind if our Governor wandered off without telling anybody (I’m not sure anyone would actually notice, to be honest; the whole NYS legislature can go get lost in the Adirondacks for all I care), but it seems kind of odd. Governor doesn’t seem like one of those jobs where you can just split for a while with no notice. Plus, Republicans being the family values party and all, you’d think his wife would have an idea where he’s at. I mean, it’s just kind of a common courtesy thing, isn’t it? “Oh, by the way honey, I’m gonna split for a week or so, don’t forget to feed the dogs.”

I dunno, I just can’t figure these Republicans out. For people who are so goddamn worried about how the rest of the world behaves, they sure seem to be a little off in the head. Whether it’s cruising for sex in mens’ rooms, going to the Dominican Republic with a suitcase full of Viagara, or using a falafel as a shower mitt, these boys just aint right.

Oh well, running late again today so I guess I better get going….