Another great victory for the United States – this one in the war on poppy seeds. Yes, our great military might was used to take on 300 tons of poppy seeds, and we have prevailed. Oh, I know, the Taliban use the money from heroin to fund their nefarious activities and all that, but if that was your means of putting food on the table for your family, how do you think you’d feel about Uncle Sam right about now? You wanna put a dent in the heroin trade? Give it away for free – along with free health care and drug rehab for anybody that needs it. Yeah, I know, that’s crazy talk.

Speaking of crazy talk, the “Obama’s not a citizen” loonies (apologies to the Canadian dollar) just won’t go away. Tweety bugs me most of the time, but I have to give him credit for smacking down California Republican John Campbell (not that this will have any effect on the birthers, of course).

If only somebody would straighten out Lou Dobbs.

Both Fox and ABC “news” seem to think that Obama’s Surgeon General nominee, Regina M. Benjamin, is too damn fat for the post. Oh, plus she’s black, and a woman, too (not that that has anything to do with it). Instead of some numbnuts wearing a “no chubbies” t-shirt, Neil Cavuto ought to get Maron on as a fat police representative. At least he’d be funny.

Dan Rather’s lawsuit against the once reputable CBS marches on, and Rather won major victories yesterday, including access to some 3,000 CBS documents, and the restoration of a fraud charge that had previously been dismissed. Give ’em hell, Dan.

Stephen Baldwin is filing for bankruptcy. I think you missed the whole Jesus thing by about ten years, Steve. It just doesn’t pay like it used to. A liberal conspiracy, no doubt. I recommend you go gay and then pray your way out of it. That should get you even more attention than being on (and quitting) “I’m a Washed-Up Minor Celebrity, Get Me Outta Here.” Well, you know the new Republican motto: Winners always quit, and quitters always win.

Surprise, surprise. The US Insurance industry is cherry picking data from a poll on health care in order to build a case for reforming our health care system so that they keep making huge profits off other people’s misery.

As Congress debates whether to enact shitty health care reform, really shitty health care reform, or no reform at all, President Obama will be hitting the airwaves with a primetime news conference at 8:00 (EDT) tonight to lobby for the just plain shitty option. Hopefully they’ll ask him something important, like whether he can prove he’s a US citizen or not.

Well, I see by the old clock on the wall, it’s time to head out into the world for another day. See ya.