So, Happy Thanksgiving Day to everybody. I hope there are no Republicans or teabaggers off today, since it was their evil nemesis Franklin Roosevelt who officially signed this holiday into law in 1941. Get your goddamn asses out there and go to work today, you Conservative sons of bitches, lest you be seen celebrating a Socialist Holiday. Come to think of it, Thanksgiving has some pretty darn socialist origins – people of different races getting together, sharing food, giving thanks, and acknowledging that the only way they managed to survive was due to the kindness of strangers (strangers they’d soon attempt to eradicate from the planet, in keeping with Christian tradition), and because everybody pulled together and helped each other out – those who had some, gave some, and those who needed some got some (exhibited today with the whole “need a penny, take a penny” thing). I find it hard to believe that the free-market, keep the government away from my Medicare, tea-partier crowd would stoop so low as to take part in such an evil tradition.

I’ve been trying to think of things to be thankful for today (not personally – there are plenty of those – but on a more global scale). So, let’s see. I’m thankful that Bush and Cheney left office peacefully, when they were supposed to. There was a time when I had some real doubts about that, and wouldn’t have put it past them to manufacture some terrorist event, declare martial law, and suspend the elections. So, I’m glad they went away, even if they did leave a big mess and Cheney doesn’t get that he ought to just shut the fuck up and go away. Bush, eh, he’s fairly harmless. An evil little man, but I don’t think he’ll be too dangerous out there on the old motivational speaker circuit.

Cheney, though…that’s a different story. He’s got his evil tendrils into everything, left moles embedded throughout the federal government, and has that demonic progeny of his poised to fulfill his legacy. When the Konservative morons get done playing with their Caribou Barbi dolls, don’t be surprised when Liz Cheney become the new teabag darling.

What else? Well, I’m grateful the USA finally managed to break through the white guy barrier and elect a non-white guy as President. It’s a good thing to have gotten behind us. I guess technically that was one for last year, but, well, nobody’s taken a shot at him yet, so I’m thankful for that. Sure, I wish he’d turned out to be that stealth Liberal we were all kind of hoping he’d turn out to be, but, well, that’s life. Funny, I honestly think if he did suddenly “go rogue” and exhibit Socialist tendencies, he’d have a successful presidency (as opposed to what I predict will be kind of a failed, Clintonesque one), but, well, what do I know?

I’m thankful that teabag asshole (hmm, that conjures up a disturbing image) Doug Hoffman lost in the NY 23rd, wasting the millions that the Hair Club for Growth put into his campaign (not that they don’t have plenty more where that came from), and showing that here in good old New York State, getting endorsed by the likes of Sarah Palin and Glenn Beck is more the political kiss of death than a guaranteed win.

I’m glad this swine flu thing apparently hasn’t turned out to be one of those natural “culling” disease things that wipes out half the human population (which might not be a bad thing, really – as long as I get to decide which half). I’m also glad it doesn’t seem to be one of those “oops” accidental biological warfare lab release things that wipes out 99.4% of the human race. That would be kind of a bummer – and stinky, too. Although I do confess to fantasizing about being one of the lone survivors from time to time (ever since I read “Earth Abides” back in 9th grade). I’d get me a generator and move into a nice house somewhere in between a library and a Blockbuster (and near a good source of canned food, I guess).

Uh, let’s see. I’m running out of ideas here, and I have to go get the dogs tired out. So if you want to add to the list, that’s cool. Otherwise, I hope you and yours have a happy holiday. Rest up; gotta be at Wal-Mart bright and early tomorrow morning.