I don’t normally stay up as late as I did last night, so I’m a little tired this morning. I also find myself totally uninterested in who’s on the stupid talking head shows. Apparently, the US hockey team is playing Canada for the gold medal later on today. I know this, because they said so on SportsCenter. They also said that the US team beat Canada for the gold medal exactly 50 years ago today, in 1960. I found this rather disconcerting, because 1960 happens to be the year I was born, and while I already knew I was pushing 50, it was still kinda weird to hear that ’60 was 50 years ago. I’ll be damned – how did that happen?

I remember my dad hitting the half-century mark. That’s not something that’s supposed to happen to me. Not that I really care all that much (and I still get to spend most of the rest of this year in my 40s), and my brother just hit 60 the other day (and he’s not even my oldest brother, who I think is like 62 or something), but it just seems kinda weird.

I mean, I was always the young one (my sister is closest to me – in age and everything else, for that matter, and she’s nine years older than I am), and here I am, on the verge of being eligible for AARP – about to exit the most desirable age demographic for advertisers. Soon, nobody will give a shit what I think about anything (not that they do now, really), and the teevee shows I watch will be sponsored by Polident, Depends, Metamusil, and Cialis. I’d say “what a revoltin’ development,” except any reference to Chester A. Riley would only serve to further illustrate how goddamn old I seem to be getting.

Oh well, it beats the alternative, I guess.

Did you know that if you fool around on your wife – lots and lots and lots of times – both President Obama and former President Clinton will call and offer words of encouragement? Granted, they’re probably encouraging you in somewhat different ways, but still. I could’ve used a little encouragement while I was struggling to get the driveway shoveled in time to get to work yesterday. Actually, screw the encouragement. I have a couple extra shovels – I could’ve used some goddamn help. Fortunately it’s not too late – seems to be snowing again. Hell, I’ll even sit down and have a couple cold ones with ya (none of that Bud Light swill, either), and if you want, you can hang out and watch the game with me tonight. I’ll do up some wings and everything. I bet you wouldn’t get wings from Tiger.

Unless maybe you think you guys could score us some tickets, that is. They’re a little tough to come by for this one, but I bet either one of you could get us something courtside. We can stop in at Hungry Chuck’s for a couple pitchers and I’ll spring for some slices (hell, a whole pie, even) at the Varsity before we head in. And maybe a couple more pitchers.

But I guess I’m not good enough for the Presidential treatment. I’ll have to settle for watching the game with David Paterson who I am officially extending the olive branch to, now that he’s dropped out of the governor’s race. I figure you probably don’t have the juice to score tickets these days (and you’d probably get booed like a black guy at a hockey game anyway), so come on over, Dave. I’ll let you wear my Ernie Davis replica jersey (as far as you know) and everything. You can even bring your wife, if you want. No swinging, though. We don’t play that up here in real America.

Speaking of hockey and swingers, how ’bout that Canadian Women’s hockey team? After winning an Olympic gold medal, they came back out and had celebration pictures taken with cigars and beer.

Cigars and beer! :omg:

And at least one of these women was only 18 years old! Damn socialist Canadians. See, it starts with universal health care, and before you know it, your hockey babes are swilling booze and doing unspeakable (Clintonesque, even) things with cigars. Such an outrage!

WTF is wrong with people? These are my kinda chicks. Do people really have nothing better to worry about? Oh well, I guess it could be worse. Don Imus could have called them nappy-headed hosers, eh?

Speaking of hosers and booze, former NY Republican congresscritter (not to mention Jack Abramoff crony and wife beater) John Sweeney will be spending 30 days in the slammer for drunk driving. Poor Johnny. Just a word of advice: if you’re gonna drive drunk, don’t do 59 in a 40 mph zone. Better yet, just head over the frat house, and get stoned with the bro’s.

Oh well, I guess I better get out there and shovel the driveway (again). Wouldn’t wanna miss ESPN College Game Day at 11:00.

I’m getting a bit of a late start this morning, having been up since 4:30 or so, shoveling snow. We’ve gotten about 18 inches, according to the weather geek. I’m not normally one to complain about the shoveling, but this is some of the heaviest snow I’ve seen in a while. In an hour and a half of shoveling the equivalent of wet sand, I barely managed to make enough of a path for us to get out of the driveway. Now I’m pooped. Not exactly how I wanted to start my day. I must be getting old.

The godless, socialist snowplows have been out all night making the godless, socialist streets passable. Many of these streets, I might add, I have never driven on. Why I should have to pay for other people’s streets to be plowed is beyond me. If they want their streets plowed, they should pay a private company to do it.

Sadly, it looks like another house bound day for the dogs today. I feel pretty bad about that, but hopefully we’ll be able to get them out tomorrow. I only wish somebody would invent a shovel a dog could use. They’d love it, and it’d tire them right out.

I guess I’ll just have to design something.

Another East Coast snowstorm is on the way (actually, it’s already here), and this time it looks like we aren’t gonna luck out and miss it. On top of the five or so inches of snow we already have (Update: more like six or seven inches by the time I left the house, and it’s the heavy stuff, too; I guess I’ll be shoveling at lunch time), it looks like we can expect another foot to a foot and a half by tomorrow morning. What with the dearth of snow so far this year, all the schools have decided to go ahead and burn a snow day, which is good news for the morning commute. None of those goddamn school buses to deal with.

If you didn’t grow up where it snows, you missed out on the pure joy of a snow day. Not only do you get a day off (even better if you had a test coming up), but you have all that snow to go out and play in. It doesn’t get much better than that if you’re a kid.

Of course, if you’re a grownup, you’re pretty much stuck going to work (unless you’re a teacher – right, Sue? – or it’s one of those superty-duperty storms where nobody goes anywhere – and I’ve been mandated to work through a couple of those in my time; damn hospitals don’t close).

Still, the snow’s pretty and the dogs love it. I’m not sure they’ll get to go out to the park today, though. I don’t anticipate the roads being all that much of a problem (one thing we know how to deal with around here is snow), but the park is technically closed, and they only plow out the dog walkers’ parking area a couple times a week.

In other news, it turns out the Orca named Tilikum who killed his trainer, Dawn Brancheau (BTW, is that a Star Trek TNG vintage uniform she’s wearing in that picture?), is actually a serial killer whale, having been linked to a couple of other human deaths.

Tourists eating poolside at a daily event called “Dining With Shamu” …

Might wanna consider renaming that.

…watched the whale drown 40-year-old Dawn Brancheau.

Tourists in an underwater viewing area saw the whale swim by, flipping the bleeding trainer over and over in his mouth.

“It was terrible. It’s very difficult to see the image,” Brazilian tourist Joao Lucio DeCosta Sobrinho, 28, told reporters.

Perhaps intelligent critters shouldn’t be kept in tanks for the amusement of humans? Just a thought. Why not put our politicians in a tank, and force them to do, oh, I don’t know, something – anything. That might be entertaining, and there’s no need to worry about them not getting enough mental stimulation, either.

Speaking of entertaining politicians, our Governor has a little problem with his “top aide” (no word on if he has a “bottom” aide, too, but rumor has it the Guv is quite the swinger, so it wouldn’t surprise me).

Gov. Paterson abruptly suspended a top aide without pay on Wednesday night and asked Attorney General Andrew Cuomo to investigate whether state police tried to “improperly influence” a woman the aide reportedly attacked.

Paterson also had contact with the woman a day before her scheduled court date to get a protective order earlier this month, his aides admit.

The woman missed her court appearance and the case was dismissed.

The possibility that the Paterson administration, and possibly even the governor himself, intervened in an assault case against a close aide is the most serious charge yet against his crumbling administration.

Hard to believe all this was going on right under Blinky’s nose. 🙄

In other news, it looks like the President will continue the “Obama Doctrine” of domestic politics. You know, the one that says, “speak loudly, but don’t carry a stick.”

The Obama administration is no longer insisting on the creation of a stand-alone consumer protection agency as a central element of the plan to remake regulation of the financial system. In hopes of quick congressional approval of a reform bill, White House officials are opening the door to compromise….

You may remember Elizabeth Warren, the TARP watchdog (and the only person even tangentially related to the government who sounds like she actually know what she’s talking about), was just slightly in favor of creating such an agency.

If the financial reform bill doesn’t establish an effective and independent consumer protection agency, Congress would be better off passing nothing at all, Elizabeth Warren warned….

Warren…said her chief concern is that financial regulatory reform legislation will suffer the same fate as health care reform — with noble principles either scaled down or negotiated away.

Silly woman. Our brave hopie-changie president would never let that happen.

The Consumer Financial Protection Agency, she said, is not optional.

“The CFPA is the heart of what makes regulatory reform work….”

“We just can’t pass a regulatory reform bill that acquiesces to the industry on every front and where everything is so watered down that nobody has to take a hard vote,” she said.

“It’s not ok to weaken the agency so much that, while everyone can vote yes and pretend to support consumers’ right to a fair deal, nothing really changes. I want a strong agency, and if there’s not going to be a strong agency, then I at least want to see an up-or-down vote on it. Let’s see a vote.”

And if it fails?

“Shame on them,” Warren declared.

Indeed.

But, hey, what’s another snow job in DC? It’s been quite the year for it.

Oh well, time to get out there and Carpe Nivis.

I keep thinking its Tuesday for some reason, but it’s not, so that’s cool. Anyhow, for those who don’t pay attention to sports-related things (and, no, I’m pretty sure a guy ice skating while wearing a pink and black sparkly outfit doesn’t qualify as sports – though he did look fabulous!), there’s a huge kerfuffle over at ESPN, which has resulted in the suspension of Tony Kornheiser “for some time.” Tony is a Long Island guy who used to be a sportswriter (he’s from Lynbrook, just like Raymond, who everybody loves), having worked at places like Newsday, the NYT, and the Washington Post. Anyhow, now he’s on a show called PTI on ESPN. At least he was, until he got himself suspended for the horrible offense of, um, making fun of the way Hannah Storm (another ESPN personality, or whatever you call those people) dresses.

“Hannah Storm in a horrifying, horrifying outfit today. She’s got on red go-go boots and a catholic school plaid skirt … way too short for somebody in her 40s or maybe early 50s by now…She’s got on her typically very, very tight shirt. She looks like she has sausage casing wrapping around her upper body … I know she’s very good, and I’m not supposed to be critical of ESPN people, so I won’t … but Hannah Storm … come on now! Stop! What are you doing? … She’s what I would call a Holden Caulfield fantasy at this point.”

First off, I’ll take looking at Hannah all day over looking at your bald shiny head, Tony. Also, I don’t know of any real man who isn’t into red go-go boots and very short catholic schoolgirl skirts – never mind tight shirts (are you sure you were never a figure skater, Tony?). And Hannah’s a couple years younger than I am, Tony (and in a lot better shape, too), and we’re both a lot younger than you are (Tony’s so old, he went to school at Binghamton back when it was called Harpur College), so back the fuck off with the “too old” shit.

OK, so Tony is a loudmouth jerk who said something stupid about a colleague. Granted, being a loudmouth and saying stupid things is kind of his job description, but you’re not supposed to be overtly sexist on the air (though I’ve heard other sports-dudes cutting on, say, Charles Barkley for his fashion choices and making fun of Terry Bradshaw’s bald pate). But then that’s kind of the nature of guys – we tend to give each other shit. It doesn’t really translate all that way across the gender lines. I mean, it used to be OK, but it’s not the man’s world it used to be. Sad, I know. But time marches on.

So, anyway, Tony, I hoped you’ve learned that there are certain things you aren’t supposed to say on sports teevee and/or radio. Add making fun of the way a woman dresses to “look at that little monkey run”, black people were “bred” to be good athletes, and “nappy-headed hoes.”

The watered-down (but better than nothing, I guess) Senate jobs bill made it past a procedural vote last night, with opponents unable to sustain a filibuster by a 4-1 vote (that is, 4 Republicans – including brand new Senator, Scott Brown – voted to end cloture, while one “Democrat” – Ben Nelson – voted to continue debate). Not a good start for you Senator Brown. I foresee many teabags in your future (and not in a Larry Craig kinda way, either – though I wouldn’t rule that out, either). Meanwhile, the Kabuki Theater know as “health care reform” continues its unprecedented run (it’s almost like an Andrew Lloyd Webber musical, only not quite as insipid; close, though). The big question now, of course, is whether or not Democrats have what it takes to use budget reconciliation to pass a) crappy reform and/or b) a crappy public option. From what Larry O’Donnell keeps saying, even with reconciliation, there are a lot of procedural hurdles along the way that require 60 votes to pass. I’m not sure anybody actually knows WTF the deal is, but if there’s a chance for Democrats to cave in and/or for Joe Lieberman, Max Baucus, et al., to torpedo the process, I’m pretty sure they’ll do it.

Wannabe terrorist Najibullah Zazi plead guilty to conspiracy to use weapons of mass destruction, commit murder in a foreign country, and provide material support to al-Qaeda in Federal District Court in Brooklyn yesterday, as expected. The news that the US Criminal Justice System works and that we can try criminals in the venue where they committed their crimes sent Dick Cheney to the hospital. Don’t worry, though, the Dick is resting comfortably. If there’s anybody who deserves to be resting comfortably, it’s great American patriot and hero, Dick Cheney. May you rest in peace here on Earth, Dick, ‘cuz you’ve got an eternity in hell to get ready for.

Speaking of hell, time to get ready for work.

Jerry Ford’s cozy little cottage in Colorado is up for sale, if anybody’s interested. It’s only listed at $13 million, and from the photos, it looks like pretty nice digs. Makes me wonder what Jerry did for a living, though, to afford a place like that. I mean, wasn’t he a congressman for, like, ever, before he got the gig as Nixon’s VP (thanks to Spiro Agnew being a criminal)? And then he got to be President for a little while. Doesn’t seem like those jobs pay enough. But I suppose he wrote a book or something.

For the most part, I don’t mind winter. In fact, I dislike the real hot weather a lot more than I do the cold stuff (there aren’t any bugs, you can actually do stuff without sweating to death, and the snow covers everything up, so you don’t have to worry about complying with what your neighbors consider an acceptable level of lawn care). But now we’re getting toward the end of February, and, while it’s staying lighter a little bit longer, it still gets dark depressingly early. We’re right around our average with 85 inches of snow so far, but, statistically speaking, we’re due another 40 inches or so before it’s all over. Not a big deal, but I’m at the age where I feel it all in my bones (and in my joints).

Speaking of bones and joints, I really wish they’d allow medical marijuana dispensaries here in the Empire State. That would definitely take the edge off things, and a couple cookies before bedtime would help me sleep. Oh well, the government knows best, I guess.

It was a pretty stress-free weekend here (though not a very productive one, as I accomplished pretty much nothing). SU didn’t play a hoops game, so there was nothing much to anguish over (though lacrosse season started, with the men winning once, and the women winning twice). Now, though, it’s back to work.

It’s gonna be a Governor kinda day out there in booblehead land today. For instance, on Press the Meat, it’s MN Guv, Tim Pawlenty. Also up, David Petraeus, plus a roundtable with Washington Post Columnist E.J. Dionne, Piggy Peggy Noonan, Indiana rethuglicanMike Pence, and Chris Van Hollen.

Faze the Nation isn’t playing the gov game. All they’ve got is Colin Powell.

However, Fux News Sunday has Mississippi Guv, Haley Barbour, and Michigan governor, Jennifer Granholm. Plus Weaselface Wallace has ferret face Mitch McConnell, plus the usual fuxheads, and “Power Player” Steve Grove, Head of News and Politics at YouTube.

The Goebbels network has govbernator Arnold Schwarzenegger and PA Guv Ed Rendell, plus a roundtable with George :jerk: Will, Arianna Huffington, Matty Dowd and political mastermind Donna Brazile.

For some reason, nobody has NY Governor David Paterson. I feel bad for Dave. He inherited a big pile of crap when what he really should be doing is cutting mall opening ribbons and dropping pucks at hockey games to a round of polite golf claps – not getting booed so loudly you can’t hear what he has to say. I just wish he’d realize he doesn’t have much chance of winning, and we really can’t afford to get another Republican in office to screw things up the way Pataki did. Oh well.

At CNN, Fareed Zakaria chats with James Baker, plus Yemen’s foreign minister.

Oh, and I guess the Olympics are probably still going on, too.

In the latest effort to close the $8.2 billion budget deficit here in NY, our Guv has now set his sights (now pun intended; well, OK, maybe a little bit intended) on the state’s parks system – the oldest in this country, and one of the few things I think everybody in the state actually thinks they do right around here. Blinky has proposed closing 55 of our state’s parks and historic sites. This would save an astounding $6.3 million, reducing the deficit by a whopping 7/100ths of one percent (and arguably reducing our quality of life by about a million percent). So, let’s close the schools, close the hospitals, and close the parks. You can go to work (assuming you still have a job), and then you can go home. On the weekend, iff you want nature and recreation, you can go to the fucking mall and look at the potted palm trees and watch the trapped sparrows fly around. I think I’d better head out to the park right now, while it’s still open.

I’m sure everybody’s heard about the big “Family Guy” kerfuffle, where a girl with Down Syndrome said “…my mother is the former Governor of Alaska.” Now, of course, poor, poor Sarah Palin is all inflamed with faux indignation at this horrible swipe at her. Interestingly enough, guess what? The actress who played the character (Andrea Fay Friedman) has Down Syndrome herself. She also seems to have a sense of humor.

I guess former Governor Palin does not have a sense of humor. I thought the line “I am the daughter of the former governor of Alaska” was very funny. I think the word is “sarcasm”.

In my family we think laughing is good. My parents raised me to have a sense of humor and to live a normal life. My mother did not carry me around under her arm like a loaf of French bread the way former Governor Palin carries her son Trig around looking for sympathy and votes.

Ooh, snap. “French” bread, no less. Nice touch. :rofl2:

Besides, it’s satire. And satire’s supposed to be OK, isn’t it, Sarah? Or is that only for Rush? Lighten up, Sarah, and send Seth Macfarlane a copy of your book.

Speaking of cartoon characters, Jessica Simpson says she’ll never do nudity. :yawn:

Oh no! Where will they ever find another dumb big-boobed bottle blond broad willing to take her clothes off? Oh, I think Carrie Prejean is available.

By the way, if you haven’t heard already, Sam Seder will be doing the Young Turds again today at Noon EST.

Sam says

I’ll be talking about the Obama administration’s push to get credit for the stimulus, what a jerk Evan Bayh is and has always been and how utterly insane the GOP has become. I’ll also be talking to one of my favorite bloggers- Digby

Oh well, it’s Friday, so let’s get this party started.