Far be it for me to agree with Dan Quayle (fun fact: Dan Quayle was the 44th Vice President, which tells me that we’ve gone through a lot VP’s in this country – FDR had three), but he was right: the founders didn’t have a 51-vote majority in mind when they set up the gubberment – at least in the Senate. For one thing, when the Senate first convened in Federal Hall in NYC (another fun fact: their meeting space was on the top floor, which is how they came to be known as the “Upper Chamber”), there were only, like, 22 Senators, since only 11 states had ratified the new constitution at that point. And even with all 13, there were on 26. So 51 votes would have been impossible. As for the House, there were only about 60’ish Representatives back then, so 51 votes would have been about 85%. That sounds about right, if the Republicans are in the minority. Of course, there were no Republicans back then, so clearly the founders never had Republicans in mind, and therefore Dan Quayle should shut the f*ck up.

Speaking of things the founders never intended (the part where only Congress can declare war that, ironically, I remember learning about in school at around the same time my brother was in Vietnam), we seem to have launched a major offensive in Afghanistan. Oh, wait, that wasn’t us, it was NATO (or, as Dan Quayle would say, ‘NATOE’). That makes it OK, then.

Harold Ford continues to ponder a run for Senator from New York. He loves New York. He loves it a lot, and whenever he flies over it in a helicopter, he loves it even more. Just not enough to pay taxes here. He pays taxes in Tennessee, though (fun fact: TN doesn’t tax wages). Not having to pay tax on your wages sounds like a pretty good perk. Normally, that would have a downside in that you’d have to live in Tennessee, but Harold seems to have found a way around that.

Thing is, we could kinda use the money, Harold. I know you haven’t really been around here long, but we have this whole deficit thing going on that has our Governor cutting money for schools and hospitals and other frills like that. I know that it’s hard to make ends meet on your Merrill Lynch/NBC/Fox News/NYU salaries (especially since you took a 45-day unpaid leave from Merrill), and helicopter rides probably aren’t cheap, but still.

Hmm. Seems to be some trouble in Tea-land. Tea Party Grand Poobah Dale Robertson is a little ticked off by the hijacking of his “movement” by the GOP.

[W]hat I am witnessing is an attempted defilement of the concept of what the Tea Party’s purposes are and where we are going. The bastardization of our message I find bilious and disingenuous on its face.

Tea Party members are being eyed as just another piece of voting meat. Tea Party members are targeted for filling the rank and file of minion laden political operations, most of which are lead (sic) by failed Republican hacks.

Old Dale doesn’t seem very enchanted with Caribou Barbie, either. He says she has a “neo-con flippant viewpoint” and he refers to her as “a duck out of water among true constitutional conservatives.”

Um, Dale, I appreciate your sentiment and all, but, you know, ducks actually do get out the water rather frequently. They, like, fly and walk around and stuff.

Dale continues:

She represents a growing insider’s attack to the heart of the Tea Party. Very much like a wolf in sheep’s clothing entering in at the gate as an ally, but for all intents and purposes there to seize and capture, not only one or two stray sheep, but the whole flock!

Wow, a duck and a cross-dressing wolf. That’s harsh, dude. And to think, Obama only called her a lipstick-wearing pig.

Speaking of pigs, it’s heartwarming to witness the transition of the GOP from a bunch of mouth-breathing, arrogant, ignorant, faux-Christian douchebags, to a kinder, gentler group, sensitive to the feelings of diverse religions.

Missouri state Sen. Gary Nodler, who is seeking the Republican nomination for the open seat of GOP Rep. Roy Blunt, has offered up an argument for keeping the ban on gays in the military: That allowing gays to serve openly would…[offend] the people of the Muslim countries where we are fighting.

Allahu Akbar, Gary.