Meet the latest candidate for NYS Governor, Kristin Davis, who is prepared to throw her, um, hat into the ring.

Davis built the most successful escort service in world history. She had more than 100 girls and operated in 5 countries, with a call center in Uruguay. She could dispatch a $1,000-plus-an-hour call girl to a hotel or residence in Paris, Berlin, Gstaad, Rome, New York, L.A., Miami, Dubai, Montreal or elsewhere within minutes. She personally recruited her girls at bars, clubs, resorts and restaurants.

Presumably, that’s Rome and/or New York, not Rome, NY. I don’t think there’s much call for $1,000 an hour hookers over there these days. Except for maybe when Tiger Woods is in the area, playing at the Turning Stone casino.

I think Davis would be a fine choice. Since we typically elect whores to office here in NY, I think it’s about time we elected somebody who has experience managing them.

Speaking of those wild and crazy NY politicians, it appears that Eric Massa has gone nuts. Massa was the representative of the district next to mine, and was a strong proponent of single payer health care. Unfortunately, in an interview with Glenn Beck (where Massa actually did what I thought was impossible: he made Beck look sane by comparison) Massa admitted he was less than a perfect boss.

In a one-hour interview with Beck…Massa offered a series of bizarre, even inexplicable explanations for his abrupt departure from office. Coming just hours after news broke that the he was under investigation for groping multiple male staffers, Massa insisted that the interactions were playful in nature, though inappropriate in retrospect.

“Not only did I grope him, I tickled him until he couldn’t breathe,” he said.

Now, I like to have as good a time at work as the next guy (or gal), but if my boss ever tries groping me and tickling me until I can’t breathe, it’ll be the last friggin’ thing he ever tries (I was gonna say, ‘if he tries that, he’s goin’ down,’ but I thought that might be misconstrued). I mean, c’mon, Eric, go to your office, close the door, and spend some quality time with your Tickle Me Elmo doll. Kinda creepy.

Speaking of creepy, creepy li’l Markos Moulitsas got more face time on Olbermann’s show last night, telling Larry O’Donnell that Dennis Kucinich better stop pushing for health care reform that doesn’t suck, or he’ll face a primary challenge next election.

Watch out, Dennis, or Markos will tickle you ’til you can’t breathe.