Barack Obama keeps writing to me. At first I kinda liked it, you know? But then I got tired of it, and now it’s just kind of annoying. I didn’t even bother to read this one. The subject was “Change,” so I’m assuming he’s trying to tell me he’s changed and from now on things’ll be different. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I might start to get my hopes up, but in the end he’ll just hit me up for money, and then I’ll realize yet again what a fool I am for thinking he could change. It’s not that I hate you or anything, Barry. Honest. I’m just not that into you any more. I mean, when we first met – even though I knew you weren’t the “perfect” man (hey, who is, right?), I thought you were really cool, and I hoped I could change you. But that never works, does it? And now we’ve just kind of drifted apart. We just don’t seem to have anything in common anymore.

I wanted us to get out of Afghanistan, and you want to keep us there. I wanted Single Payer health care, and you took that off the table from the start. I wanted strict financial regulation, you hired Wall Street insiders to write it. I wanted you to use your electoral mandate to make real changes and undo all the damage Republicans have done since St Reagan, and you wanted to give them a reach around across the aisle.

Oh, I know. I should have known better – all the signs were there from the start – so it isn’t you, Barack. It’s me. Just, you know, quit it with the writing and the begging. You’re embarrassing yourself.

Big weekend here in CNY as the Oswego Harborfest begins today. This is a huge event (that I’ve never actually gone to because Oswego is too small a town for so many people to gather all at once) with a Midway, tall ships, music (including Kansas – or as Jim Earl would say, “that crappy fusion band from the 70’s” – the Fabulous Thunderbirds, and the Little River Band; I guess there are geezers like me in charge of booking the talent), and a carnival atmosphere with much drinking of beer, all culminating with the world-famous (so I’m told) Grucci Brothers fireworks display (set off from a barge out in the harbor) on Sunday night. Then the 40 or so miles between Oswego and Syracuse turns into a parking lot for a few hours.

Hey, what can I say? We love us some beer and fireworks up here in the provinces.

First, a NJ woman said a man with a gun stole her car and drove it into a tree. Next, she said she made up the carjacking story to cover up the fact that she picked up a stranger and let him drive her car, which he promptly drove into a tree while they were engaged in a “sex act.” Now, however, it appears that she made up the car sex story to cover up the fact that she and her man stole a laptop from another car, and were fleeing the police when they crashed into the tree. They then set the car on fire, because, um…well, just because. No idea what they’re trying to cover up with the whole stolen laptop story.

Well, shit. I guess I gotta go to work now.