Every once in a while, somebody or other will send me the latest and greatest razor “handle” in the mail, with a sample two or three blades. I’ve got quite a collection, ranging from double, triple, and even “quad” blades, plus strips of skin moisturizer (or whatever it is) attached to it, for whatever it is that that’s supposed to do. Since I only shave my neck (and that only two or three times a week at most), I don’t really go through a whole lot of blades. Unfortunately, it’s been a while (like, a few years, I think) since anybody’s sent me one, and the blades on the one I’ve been using have gotten pretty dull.

So, while I was out at my local “buy everything in bulk” club store (paying for the privilege of spending money goes against my principles, but I get a “deal” on membership through my union, it’s really close by, and if you’re in the market for a 500-pack of toilet paper – and who isn’t? – you can’t beat the deals) yesterday, I figured I’d pick up some replacements. Holy Crap! These things are really goddamn expensive. Like, $40 or something for a 16-pack. Granted, 16 of these things would last me the rest of my natural life, but still. I really wasn’t prepared to make that kind of commitment.

Since I’m philosophically opposed to buying disposable razors (all that plastic to wind up in the landfill for a tiny sliver of metal), I passed on the whole idea, and picked up a four-pack of ‘speed stick’ (cheapest they had) instead. Fortunately, I was able to revert to a triple-blade handle that was still kicking around (and this, I feel obliged to point out to my wife, is why I don’t throw shit away).

Since the blade that was in there seemed pretty new, and since I have two more sample ones left after that, I should be good to go for another five years or so. In the meantime, hopefully somebody will come out with a “penta-track” system that lifts, separates, cuts, lifts higher, and cuts again and sends me a free sample, or I might be forced to switch to a straight razor (which, I’m reasonably certain, will only lead to bloodshed).

Why am I telling you all this? Clearly, it’s because I’m too tired to think of anything else this morning. How you can not drink and still wake up feeling hung over is beyond me.

Even worse, it’s Monday. Bleh.