Uncle Carl Paladino had a bit of a confrontation with NY Post editor Fred Dicker last night. Something to do with Carl’s unsubstantiated allegations of an affair by Andy Cuomo (which is somewhat ironic in light of the fact that Carl himself has a daughter born out of wedlock). I think this guy is not only trailer trash, but he’s nuts, too. Could be an insteresting 4 years if Carl gets elected (as if NY State government wasn’t already enough like the Jerry Springer Show). As I’ve said before, Carl puts the “goober” in gubernatorial.

Speaking of Republican candidates for Guv, California’s Meg Whitman seems to have a bit of an illegal immigrant problem, in terms of her former maid. The maid is not only claiming that Whitman knew of her immigration status well before Meggy shitcanned her in advance of her run for Governor, but that Whitman also subjected her maid to “financial and emotional abuse for the nine years she was employed.”

Sad news yesterday: Greg Giraldo passed away at the age of 44. A shame. Fourty-four was such a promising number not all that long ago. Now? Well, 44 has really turned to crap.

Tony Curtis (aka, Bernard Schwartz) has also passed away at the age of 85. Tony was in a lot of stuff over the years, but I’ll remember him best for two things: playing Harry Houdini, and his portrayal of “Stony Curtis” in the Flintstones. Oh, and I really loved the way he said, “Thpartacuth.”

Fish Guy has sent me a message, wondering if there’ll be a Seditionist meetup in DC during the ‘Rally To Restore Sanity’/’March To Keep Fear Alive’ at the end of next month. So, how about it? Any takers? Can DC handle all 6 of us in one place? Is anyone willing to risk an FBI home invasion by the Obama Justice Department by assembling peacefully?

Y’all think on it, and let us know. In the meantime, I’m running a but late, ‘cuz I slept in ’til 5:30 this morning. Now half the day is shot. If you’re on the East Coast, try and stay dry out there today.

The list of nominees for the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame has been announced. It includes the Beastie Boys, Bon Jovi, Chic, and LL Cool J. You know who it doesn’t include? Barry White, ELO, Todd Rundgren, Chicago, Blood, Sweat and Tears, Mott the Hoople, Steppenwolf, the Steve Miller Band, Harry Nilsson, the Moody Blues, and, most unbelievably, Stevie Ray Vaughan. So, to recap, Beastie Boys, ‘yes,’ Stevie Ray Vaughan, ‘no.’ Seriously? Seriously. Not to be overly dramatic, but I think this pretty much epitomizes all that is wrong with the world.

The abandoned, 120-yr old Marsellus Casket Company factory (empty since 2003 or something; like so many other local businesses, it was family owned until 1997, when it was sold off to the faceless conglomerate ‘Service Corporation,’ which ran it into the ground and then sold off its assets and copyrights to some other company, which moved operations to Mississippi or some other shithole Red state – no offense to my friends from the Magnolia State; I love you guys – where they don’t burden businesses with trivial environmental regulations and other such nonsense) is on fire this morning – burning rather impressively (it seems they didn’t bother cleaning out all the solvents and varnishes they used, which have ignited rather spectacularly).

I’m sure you’ve never heard of Marsellus (I mean, why would you?), but they were considered the “Cadillac” of caskets – JFK, Harry Truman, Hubert Humphrey, Nelson Rockefeller, Vince Lombardi, Ronnie Reagan, Richard Nixon, and Gerry Ford are all planted in Marsellus caskets.

So, it’s sad to see the old place burn down, but I reckon that’s a better fate for it than to watch it slowly rot and crumble.

Speaking of slowly rotting and crumbling, it appears my body is at it again, despite the rather tedious endeavor to begin living a squeaky-clean (and terribly boring – not that I was exactly Mr. Excitement before) lifestyle. This time, it’s my left ankle that’s at it. Or my left Achilles tendon, actually. I have no idea what I did to it, but it started to hurt a few days ago, and has now gotten to the point where it aches constantly, and feels like somebody’s sticking a knife into it when I try and walk.

Ah, nature’s pageantry. Aint it beauty-full?

So far, at least, the ankle isn’t as bad as my shoulder was. And, if I apply the ‘Obama Doctrine’ to it, it means that no matter how bad it gets, as long as it isn’t as bad as the shoulder, then it’s OK.

Speaking of Barack “Nabab” Obama, it appears that he’s now trying to out-Jesus the wingnuts, saying that he’s Kristian “by choice” and came to his “faith” later in life (though not, presumably, after hitting alcoholic rock bottom the way that other presidents apparently came to their Kristian beliefs).

Silly man, you’ll never win that game. The people who are all Jesusy and give a shit what religion you profess to follow have already decided you’re either Satan or a Mooslam (not the the two are mutually exclusive, of course), and will never believe you. And those of us who are quite content to have a President that isn’t as bad as Bush really don’t give a shit which group of delusional yo-yos you feel obliged to pander to.

Oh well, time to get going I guess.

Even though we don’t have a closing date yet, I can’t help but look around here and think, “where the hell did all this crap come from, and how are we ever gonna move it?” And that’s not even counting all the shit in the attic. Some of this stuff clearly isn’t gonna make the trip – though what, exactly, we’re gonna do with it is another story. Anybody interested in a rather massive collection of VHS tapes? Hmm. Didn’t think so. Unless anybody’s got recycling ideas, I guess they’re gonna have to take that long walk down the green mile to the dump. Too bad; there’s a lot of good stuff in there (including “The Green Mile,” come to think of it).

Speaking of moving, as part of my new austerity budget, I’ve been forced to cancel my subscription to the WTF podcast. I’ll miss listening to it, but that $10 a month needs to go elsewhere, I’m afraid. Y’all will have to keep me informed of any interesting developments.

Speaking of WTF and comedians and stuff, I was very sorry to hear about Greg Giraldo. If you hadn’t heard, he’s in critical condition after an apparently accidental overdose of prescription drugs. I hope everything works out OK for him.

Otherwise, it appears that I’m either allergic to something, or am coming down with a cold (and it’s been perfect “cold” weather lately – 90 degrees one day, 50 and rainy the next). Time to start hitting the Oil of Oregano hard. I don’t have time in the budget for being sick.

On the Internet front, the Democrats are planning on introducing legislation to gut the ability of the FCC to enforce Net Neutrality. And the Obama Administration wants to make it a lot easier to track your every movement online. I keep telling myself that, golly, the Democrats are so much better than the Republicans (and, of course, that I’m in way disappointed with Obama), but it gets more difficult every day.

Fortunately, the 12-20 years of Republican control that appears to be on the horizon should help. That’s how it works, right? The Republicans suck so bad for so long that the Democrats take over for a term or two, but then they knock themselves out working at trying to be just like Republicans so that they get tossed out of office pretty rapidly, and then wonder how come nobody likes them.

Oh, it’s all so discouraging.

I think I need a bigger tractor.

Just in case you needed another reason not to go to school in New Jersey (Princeton is too expensive, and Rutgers – which has become a mediocre football team during these SU football dark ages, and whose “fans” somehow think it’s become a powerhouse, all due respect to James Gandolfini – sucks), a shooting at an off-campus party near Seton Hall has left one dead and five wounded. My guess is that the shooter’s father is in “waste management.” In a sign of the times, a witness to the shooting was interviewed “by BlackBerry instant messenger on condition of anonymity because she feared for her safety while the shooter remained at large. She said she was too upset to talk over the phone.” Funny, but to an old guy like me, it’s much easier to speak than it is to push those tiny little buttons on the phone. Some comedian – can’t recall who it was – once said that, had they invented texting first, and then voice, people would be flipping out at how great voice is. “It’s great! You don’t have to type shit out.. You just talk!

Otherwise, it was a mildly productive weekend for me. I got in some quality tractor time (which, in spite of what Granny said, is really on the level of landscaping equipment, not farm equipment; you’ll have to excuse her, though. She grew up in New York City, and calls “the woods” the “forest”), got my laundry done (that reminds me, I still need to get my socks out of the dryer), and finished off another window (assuming “finishing” doesn’t include painting). Not a whole lot, but I now have enough material to do a few more windows (I hope), and, with four more to go, I see some light at the end of the tunnel. At least as far as the windows are concerned. As for everything else that needs to be done around here, there is no end (or light) in sight.

But now it’s time to disengage my brain (not the thinking part, so much, but the parts that at one time held all my dreams and aspirations), so that I can pretend to be a good little happy idiot consumer citizen taxpayer.

Fourteen more years to go.

I really can’t bring myself to look at today’s lineup of talking heads. These shows make a mockery of our political system, raising insignificant clowns – teevee “personalities,” formerly elected stooges, currently elected liars, thieves, & hypocrites, shills for the Republicratic party, and the lying pieces of crap running for something or other in the next election – to a level of fake importance that will fool the ignorant bon-bon eating couch dwellers of the world into believing what they have to say actually matters.

Not that those folks are actually watching, of course, because Sunday morning is the day they wash the KFC grease off their faces and leave their trailers to head out to church, handle some snakes, and hear how the godless tax-and-spend abortionist libruls, queers, A-rabs, and Mexicans are ruining this country.

But, of course, all the “serious” urinalists will tut-tut and act all self-important (and somewhere Cokie the Hag will cackle over the “process” and how only seasoned pros like her understand how things really work). They all remind me of Gloria Emerson in ‘Imagine: John Lennon’ referring to John as “my dear boy” with her snooty, condescending attitude – as if he should just shut up and be a Beeeetle and not “ruin” the whole anti-war movement with his celebrity and flippant singing and whatnot, while “serious” people like her were out there doing the big work.

Just like Colbert shouldn’t deign to testify before a very serious House subcommittee (that will, in the end, do absolutely nothing because all that matters is appealing to the brain dead coach potatoes that worship at the feet – and the ample laps – of Rush Limbaugh, Bill O’Reily, and Glenn Beck). Oh, yes, now there’s a triad that the Washington press corps can get behind. But Colbert? How embarassing.

I’ve really come to despise all of these people – not least of which the “voters” who seem intent on consistently electing the lesser of the evils out there, and forcing us to live with the consequences.

But today is Sunday, and it should be a happy day (despite the specter of Monday looming over me). So I’ll focus on football and the fact that SU is 3-1 for the first time since 2003 (never mind that their 3 wins have come against team teams that pretty much suck – including two that are from divisions one step above Pop Warner – and the one halfway-decent team they played pretty much stomped them; as shitty as things have been the past few years, we take what we can get around here), as well as the fact that, although ‘True Blood’ is over for the year, the new season of ‘Dexter’ starts tonight.

First, though, I’ve got a lot of work to do today. Not that I’ll probably get much of it done, but it’s good to have goals, don’t you think?

Money’s tight, and sometimes it’s tough to scrape together enough dough to heat your palace. I think we all know how that feels. Fortunately for the Queen of England, the UK is one of those socialist countries where there’s a safety net for impoverished folks to get a little help paying the utility bills. Or so you’d think. Sadly, the Queen’s request was denied. If Her Majesty might allow me to offer some help, might I suggest a pellet stove? Wood pellets are a renewable resource, and are so clean burning they’re even approved by the State of California (and you know how fussy those nuts are). Now, if “The Tudors” is any indication, you might have a bit of a tough time finding an insert to fit those humongous palace fireplaces, but maybe you can get the royal handyman to retrofit them or something.

Is House Minority Leader John Boehner fooling around with a lobbyist? That’s apparently the focus of an upcoming NYT expose, and I, for one, am shocked. Shocked because Boehner’s alleged affair is with a woman. I mean, who’da thunk a guy that spends so much time in a tanning booth and goes so freakin’ heavy on the mascara would be into chicks?

Well, after a ridiculously hot (and record-setting) 90 degree day yesterday, it’s supposed to be a nice, normal, mid-sixties Autumn day today. Thank goodness. It’s just impossible to get anything done when it’s that hot out. Not that I’ll really be getting much done today. But I could, and that’s the important thing.

It’s gonna be hot today. Hell, it’s already hot – 76 degrees before 5:00 this morning – and it’s gonna be in the upper 80s. Might even hit 90. This, of course, is too damn hot. The good news is that it won’t last long, as a cold front it supposed to come through and make for a nice cool day tomorrow (good day for playing with the tractor). The bad news is that a cold front means thunderstorms (and very unhappy doggies) tonight. Good thing I don’t sleep much these days anyway.

Eddie Fisher died. He was only 82. I say “only” because, while I certainly know his name (and that he was married to Debbie Reynolds – begetting daughter Carrie – Liz Taylor, and Connie Stevens – with whom he begot daughter Joely), I don’t actually remembering him being anything other than somebody who “used” to be famous. I guess at the time I was becoming aware of music – say, around 1964-65 or so – for me, it was the Beatles and the Stones, and the Kinks, and the Animals, et al. Oh, and Hermann’s Hermits, of course.

But Eddie Fisher? Not so much. I mean, he was no Perry Como (or even Andy Williams).

Polls are starting to show an unbelievably tight race here in NY for US Senate. They show Kirsten Gillibrand up by either only six points or – worse – just one, over Joe DioGuardi. I find this very hard to believe, because, as a person who likes to consider himself relatively aware of politics and current events, until I looked at this story, I couldn’t even have told you the name of the person running against her. I haven’t seen a single ad for this yo-yo on the teevee (I suppose that’s ‘cuz it’s early yet, and Gillibrand can afford to hit the airwaves, because she has a boatload of money), and I really hope this isn’t true. One of the few things to be proud about NY these days is that it’s at least solidly in the “blue” column.

Frankly, I put the blame quite squarely on Barack Obama and his Milquetoast presidencyand his Chamberlainesque handling of both the Republicans and the Blue Dog DINOs who have manipulated him (I’d have said “masterfully manipulated,” but I don’t think they’ve been masterful – I think he’s been pathetic).

Both Gillibrand and Andy Cuomo (in the NY Governor’s race) lead quite comfortably in polls of “registered” voters, but among self-described “likely” voters, their leads all but evaporate. This is because wingnuts and teabaggers are moist with anticipation, whereas Democrats are so pissed off and disappointed with Democrats – and the failed Obama presidency – that lots of them are apparently not interested in voting. This is bad news, ‘cuz while Obama and the Democrats might suck, we’re all really gonna suffer with these corrupt thugs back running the show.

I mean, WTF? It hasn’t been that long since they were screwing things up. Have you people forgotten already? Or are you just Bill Murray’s Arthur Denton to Steve Martin’s Orin Scrivello (or, if you want to go old-school, Jack Nicholson’s Wilbur Force to John Herman Shaner’s Phoebus Farb)?

Wake up, America! I can’t afford to move to Canada anymore, and when Republicans “take back” America, we’re the ones they’re taking it back from! Not that we actually ever had posession of it in the first place, but you know what I mean.

Oh well, time to get this week over with. Hard to believe it’s only three days ’til Monday.

It’s been a tough week, and the hits just don’t stop coming. Today, it’s a trip to the dentist for a cleaning and god knows whatever other Torquemadian torture they can devise to foist upon me. Other than having a tooth ripped out a couple weeks back, I haven’t been to the dentist in quite a while (the guy I was going to back then was constantly complaining that my insurance – for which he was an official provider – wasn’t paying him enough, and he might have to charge more). I got tired of hearing him whine, then tried another less-than-impressive guy for a while before changing jobs and just kind of getting out of the habit. Things had been pretty good for quite a while, but, well, after 12 years or so, I guess it’s finally time to be a good boy and suffer whatever pain and indignity the Dental Deities feel obliged to throw at me. So, needless to say, I’m really not looking forward to this. Hopefully I at least won’t have to pay too much for the privilege.

There are a plethora of musician-type birthdays to celebrate today, including John Coltrane, Ray Charles, Julio Iglesias (if you want to include him), Bruce Springsteen, and Harry Connick Jr. And Country singer Loretta Haggers (aka Mary Kay Place). Oh, and Mickey Rooney, too. I guess he sang a song or two in his day.

With the elections about six weeks away, things aren’t looking so good for Democrats in the Senate. Russ Feingold is down by over nine points in Wisconsin (and way below that magical 50% that incumbents supposedly need to have). Some Republican schmuck looks to be in good shape to take over Robert Byrd’s old seat in West Virginia. Sharon Angle is one point ahead of Harry Reid (who, again, is far below that 50% thing).

It’s not looking like there’ll be a pickup in Florida (either by Charlie Crist begin an Independent or the Democrat taking advantage of a split vote), with teabagger Ricky Marco Rubio way ahead, nor will the Democrat apparently be able to take advantage of the situation in Alaska.

Here in NY, though, we’ll do our part by returning the “hottest” Senator (according to Harry Reid, anyway) – Kirsten Gillibrand – to the Senate for a full term. I’m not sure Gillibrand is “hot” (she’s no Olympia Snowe, after all), but I’d have to say she’s at least pretty cute. There isn’t an whole lot of competition for the title; she’s at least in the top three with Scott Brown and Maria Cantwell – and since I’m a “homer” (and a straight dude), what the hell – I’ll go with Kirsten.

In Delaware, Christine O’Donnell appears poised to go down in flames, but, with all the nutbag stuff associated with her candidacy, I’m somewhat perplexed that her “dabbling with witchcraft” thing seems to be what’s making the news. I mean, WTF? That’s no crazier than any of these other religious nuts. Of course, with the news that she appears to have been embezzling money from her campaign (according to CREW, anyway), she may need to cast a few spells to stay out of prison.

Oh well, another work day beckons – and the last day of summer at that. In these parts, Autumn rolls in at about 11:08 PM tonight. The days are getting awfully short (well, not the the workday part; that seems as long as ever), and I’m not really looking forward to it getting dark at 4:00 (though that’s a good excuse to go to bed even earlier that I do now, I guess).

So I was crunching the numbers yesterday, and, once I’m in my new place, I should only go into the hole by about $30 a month – as long as I bury and/or burn my garbage, don’t drive more than 10 miles a day on the weekends, and don’t renew my lottery subscription. That’s assuming there are never any repairs to make, and no vet and/or medical bills. Oh, and that Governor Blinky or the next Governor don’t decide to lay me off. So, I guess I need to make some changes. Showtime is definitely not gonna make the cut (I’ll miss Dexter, Weeds, and The Big C – though I predict this will be the last season of Weeds anyway), and HBO may not survive the move, either. I hope Granny is ready for a cold, dark winter. There’s a cheery thought.