I was trying to kill the work week yesterday afternoon (with my mp3 player on shuffle mode, as it typically is, and the tunes cranked as loud as I figured I could get away with – which was fairly loud, what with the office tending to be pretty sparsely populated on Fridays after two o’clock or so) when a thought suddenly came to me: “Keep on Chooglin'” is a stupid song. That, and Stu Cook looked an awful lot like Maury Muehleisen (who died along with Jim Croce 37 years ago this coming Monday; when the hell will musicians learn not to take small charter flights?). What can I say? My mind tends to wander on Friday afternoons.

Fortunately, the day (and week) finally ended, and I celebrated by sleeping in ’til damn near four o’clock this morning (I was awake earlier, rolling back and forth in bed, but finally decided to just get it over with and get the hell up). I have no idea why I’ve been getting up so early the past couple weeks, but I think it has something to do with not drinking beer and reading in bed.

Sobriety gives me no reason to stay up at night, and the reading seems to knock me out like being hit in the head with a shovel. Since it’s nice having the extra time in the morning, I kind of like it (though the inevitable exhaustion tends to make my mind wander in the afternoon). It’ll come in pretty handy in the winter when I have to plow the driveway in order to get to work.

Today I get to go and play with my Kubota (so to speak). My sister is graciously allowing me to cut a few acres of her grass for her (which I will do gladly, even having read Tom Sawyer about 50 times; I should look for free Mark Twain eBooks, now that I think of it), and then later on tonight I’ll watch as SU (hopefully) stomps all over the Maine Back Bears – with Floyd Little (speaking of the Kubota) being honored at halftime. Not that I’ll be going to the game, mind you, but it’s on SNY (though probably not in HD, sadly).

Just saw a commercial for Cialis on the teevee. It cautioned not to drink alcohol while taking it. I guess fat, drunk, and aroused is no way to go through life (besides, you should probably save the alcohol for your partner). Fortunately, that’s one portion of my anatomy that remains in working order, even at my advanced age (worry if it lasts for four hours? Shit, I’ve had one that’s lasted since I was 13). I think it’s the Irish in me (we’re breeders).

Speaking of breeders, the Octomom is facing bankruptcy and foreclosure (her 15 minutes were not particularly lucrative, I guess), due to the rather sizable expenses related to raising 14 kids (and she’s thinking about having another one). A white knight (of sorts) has appeared on the horizon, however, with porn producer Vivid Entertainment purportedly offering a half million dollars for her to star in a one-hour porn video (now there’s an antidote for Cialis). Sounds like a win-win. Enough money to stave off bankruptcy, and a potential supply of dozens of willing sperm donors.

Well, time to get a move-on and quit all this lollygagging. Hell, the sun’ll be up in another hour and 10 minutes.