With, what, two weeks ’til Election Day, the political ads are on in full force. I may very well need to replace the mute button on my remote control before this is all over. I can’t even stand to listen to the commercials for the people I’m actually planning to vote for, let alone these other a-holes. Last night, as Sue mentioned, was the one and only Gubernatorial debate here in NY. I didn’t watch any of it, but have seen a few clips this morning, and there were some pretty funny moments. The guy running on the “The Rent is Too Damn High” line – Vietnam Vet Jimmy McMillan – is just too damn funny (by the way, Bill Hammond of the NY Daily News really needs to pull the stick out of his ass). Nattily attired and interestingly coiffed (very nifty beard and mustache, this fella sports), he wore black leather gloves throughout (to protect against Agent Orange attacks, of course). The ex-madam who hooked Eliot Spitzer up with his high-priced hookers – Kristin Davis (yes, she’s running for Guv) – said that businesses are leaving NY State faster than Carl Paladino at a gay bar, some other nerdy guy whose name I don’t recall said he’s not a typical politician, ‘cuz he’s never been caught with a prostitute, his father wasn’t Governor, and he’s never been convicted of a crime (which wasn’t actually all that funny, but he was trying, so I give him an ‘A’ for effort).

Carl Paladino wasn’t especially funny either (Carl was on his best behavior and used his inside voice while saying “I’m not angry – I’m passionate”) – he was actually kind of pathetic looking. Short fat guys in suits just look silly when they’re sitting up on a stage, their little legs dangling down, not touching the floor, crossing and un-crossing. It’s very hard to look manly like that.

Of course, the one guy who stood out as the most intelligent candidate with some real, thought-out plans was Howie Hawkins, the Green Party candidate. He hasn’t got a prayer, but hopefully he’ll get enough votes to keep the Greens on the ballot (he needs 50,000 votes for them to be counted as an official political party in NY). You’ve probably not heard much about him, but, since he’s local to me (and this is his 18th run for one office or another), he’s pretty well known in these parts. He’ll be getting my vote, for whatever that’s worth. I know he’d rather have some money (he’s collected less than $25 grand, which is nothing), but my austerity budget doesn’t have room for political contributions at this point in time.

So, if you live in NY (and we know who you are!), consider voting for Howie. Cuomo will win easily anyway (hopefully he won’t then cut my pay and/or lay me off, since he says we dastardly Public Employees need to suffer), but then you can say (as I will), “don’t blame me, I voted for Howie.”

Oh, and shame, shame, shame on the Working Families Party for endorsing Cuomo.

In local news last night, somebody perpetrated an armed robbery on an apple orchard (or more precisely, at the apple store – and, no, not a place that sells overpriced and over-hyped electronics, but a place that actually sells apples, apple pies, apple bread, apple cider, apple juice, and, no doubt, apple plushies).

The perp (or un-sub, depending on which teevee cop show euphemism you prefer) apparently had a getaway car stashed out in the orchard, wore a mask (probably not so much as a disguise, but because it was pretty frickin’ cold last night), and is described as a white male (well, duh; aint a whole lot of black folks out in apple country – except maybe at harvest time, but then they’re mostly Mexicans – and I reckon those that are in the vicinity, are under pretty tight surveillance).

This is just plain lazy. I mean, an apple orchard? Seriously? Syracuse aint exactly NY City, but the apple orchards are out in the middle of nowhere – even by our standards. You had a friggin’ car, buddy – drive to a liquor store in Wampsville or something. Maybe he needed the apple money to buy gas to drive into a slight less rural area for the “big” score. The least he could have done was rob the place that sells apple vodka.

The weather gets colder and colder, yet there is still no closing date in sight for us. Apparently, a past mortgage wasn’t properly stamped or signed or registered or whatever it is that needs to be done, so the seller’s attorney needs to do whatever it that lawyers need to do to clear the title. Meanwhile, we wait and watch the leaves fall off the trees.

For you lawyer types out there (and we know who you are!), if this all falls through, do I have an option to get back the money I’ve already shelled out in good faith (home inspection, appraisal, etc.)? Or would I need to sue somebody and spend more money on an attorney that I’d actually get back? Yeah, that’s what I thought. Well, at the very least, we’ll have just about everything we own (but never use) in boxes.

Oh well, on the odd chance that we actually will close some day, I guess I better get to work.