I think it should be pretty clear today to even the most spineless of liberals that there just aren’t enough guns in Arizona. Had everyone been armed at that Safeway yesterday, the shooter would have been either sufficiently deterred in the first place, or have been taken out after only capping a half dozen people (give or take – depending on the secondary casualties and collateral damage). So, I propose that all the grocery stores (but not Whole Foods – we don’t wanna arm the goddamn liberals) and Wal-Marts have handguns affixed to every shopping cart (I’m thinking with a chain or aviation cable or something; it would make those early morning ‘Black Friday’ sales a lot more interesting, for one thing).

The cart wranglers would be charged with checking and reloading the weapons when they bring them back inside, and, in the case of a mass shooting like yesterday (whether somebody wants to keep the government from sticking their mitts into your Medicare, or there’s just a dispute over a parking spot), shoppers need only circle the carts around themselves wagon train style, and start taking people out (my suggestion would be to try and park your SUV as close to the cart return as possible – and look for a full one. Oh, and make sure you have a Jesus Fish on the back, so we all know not to shoot it; it’s kinda like automotive lamb’s blood).

I fully expect Maverick McCain to announce that he’ll be introducing federal legislation to this effect tomorrow.

I also expect McCain, Limbaugh, O’Reily, Hannity, Palin, Bachmann and others of their ilk (and by “ilk” I of course mean god-fearing Kristian Americans) to exploit this situation for their own political purposes by making speeches denouncing anyone who would exploit this situation for their own political purposes, while expressing shock – shock, I say – at the fact that anyone would take their suggestions that there be a “second amendment solution” to the scourge of liberalism threatening this nation’s very existence literally. Which is too bad.

Really, they ought to be proud of the fact that they control the crazy people, and can manipulate them into going on shooting sprees or mailing exploding packages or whatever. Oh, sure, it’s sad that a 9-yr old kid born on that most glorious of high holy days – 9/11, aka “Giuliani Day” – had to die, but I reckon it’s worth the price of an activist judge and a Democratic congresscritter who – get this – voted for death panels and the destruction of the best damn health care system in the world. I mean, you wanna make a great mayonnaise, you gotta break a few eggs, right?

These people (the ones who are actually willing to go beyond sitting in their La-Z-Boys® drinking beer and yelling at the teevee and take up arms) may be the fringe of the fringe, but they’re the crazy fringe, and they’re angry, armed, and ready for action. As soon as somebody tells them who it is they’re angry at, and what sort of action they need to take.

No need to be obvious about it, of course. Just call somebody a baby killer that needs to be stopped, put gun sights on a map, suggest a 2nd amendment solution, or have a “Shoot a Fully Automatic M16″ to “Get on Target” and “Remove Gabrielle Giffords” event.

You know, be subtle.

No point in letting those folks in Afghanistan have all the fun.