It’s true that I am not a clerk,
nor am I a soda jerk.
I haven’t got the wish to shirk,
but must I really go to work?
The one thing that’d be worse than workin’,
would be to have to wear a merkin
in order to warm up my gherkin,
while in the shower I be lurkin’.
But in order to be able
to pay my bills (like, for cable),
put some food upon the table,
and maybe buy my wife a sable
(not to mention have assurance
that I can pay for my insurance),
I can see no real good option
(other than perhaps adoption),
than to drag my ass out of that door
and be a dirty wage slave whore
(for today and evermore).
The one thing that is surely certain,
however bad I might be hurtin’,
is that there’s truly no way out
(no matter how I stomp and shout).
No way for me, not for a fox,
(not even for a big old ox) –
except for feet first in a box.
And though my neck feels in a noose
(I do admit, I’m quite obtuse),
don’t think I am a silly goose,
when I say “Happy Birthday, Dr. Seuss.”
OK, I admit that’s pretty bad, but, hey give me a break, it’s early.
Why is it that when you smoke pot one of the first things you lose is your lighter? Somebody should start a business of making lighter necklaces or wrist-lighters or some shit. Maybe most things should be sold with a necklace, wristband or a leash. We could call them “stoner-approved” products. Or what the fuck, why isn’t there an App called “Where the fuck did all my lighters go” yet?
Oh snap, it was in my pocket the whole time. Whoever invented pockets was a genius.
Wow, Trav — breakfast :bong: 😮
Have fun getting through the day :omg:
PJ — :love: the pome :bow:
— You’re a regular Edgar Allen Poe/Dr. Seuss hybrid :reaper: :rofl2:
Oh, and instead of sable (let the little critters live out their lives in the forest), how about a bigger dining room table? :ear:
Oh, well. Gotta go rip some more wet stinky carpet out of the old basement. :barf: and get it to the dump.
Happy Hump Day, Bloggies :pup: :pup: :cat: :cat:
Another anti-gay pastor, with a great name, gets in trouble:
Rev. Grant Storms, a renowned anti-gay Christian pastor from Louisiana, was arrested last week for masturbating at a public park, in the vicinity of a carousel and playground where children were present.
According to the New Orleans Times-Picayune, one woman saw Storms parked in his van “looking at the playground area that contained children playing, with his zipper down…,” the Jefferson Parish Sheriff’s Office report read. After judging that Storms was masturbating, the woman and another mother who witnessed the event both alerted deputies.
After being apprehended by authorities, Storms claimed that he had been urinating into a bottle. He was then booked for obscenity — charges that he denied — and then released due to overcrowding in the jail.
The reverend appeared less willing to discuss the matter at a press conference on Tuesday, during which he blamed “pornography” for the incident.
“Pornography is destructive and it can ruin a person’s life, and it ruined my life,” he said at the conference, admitting that he had his hands in his pants, but maintaining that he wasn’t masturbating. “Do I have problems? Yes. Did I do something wrong? Yes.”
Despite his apology, which he also extended to the gay community, to which he has been a prominent opponent, Grants also denied claims that he had been “looking at the children” in the area.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/03/01/grant-storms-arrested-masturbating_n_830000.html
Not only did I like your poetry, PJ, but I now know what a merkin is. What more could I ask for on a Wednesday morning?
O’Reilly wants to know how many of the Wisconsin protesters are professional left wingers. I want to know if there’s money in this professional lefties stuff, because I believe if there is, MSers are missing an opportunity for enrichment.
He shows a video of the Wisconsin protests. Did you know there are palm trees, blue skies and balmy weather there?
Oh, SueP – you must have forgotten the big Merkin thread a couple of years ago, thanks to KristaPea who brought it up by daring us to Google it! 😆 :rofl2: PJ has an Elephant’s memory for these kinds of things. :billcat:
Anyway, I thought this little non-MSM (thank you AFL-CIO blog) item about Rand Paul’s Speak-and-scram strategy with workers was pretty interesting.
Also attended this Support Wisconsin Workers Rally in Rochester (NY) this afternoon. Lots of good energy and one screaming banshee TeaBagger vs 500 Working Folks. :fist: I don’t know what kind of drugs the Koch Brothers give those people, but they sure sound like their heads are going to explode when they start yelling 😮 I noticed where they had the AED outside City Hall, but I don’t think that would have helped this BaggerLady when her head blew up :billcat:
OReilly is nuts — how can anyone who lives north of the MasonDixon line believe the palm-tree-no-snow-shove-fest in his video is Madison, Wisc??? Are Fox News viewers in the Snow Bound MidWest & NorthEast THAT stupid :cold: ?? …………….. Could be — they’ve been fluoridating the water for a long time :sammy:
Oh, and here’s a little more AFL-CIO Bloodhound Brigade history on what Rand Paul thinks of Working People.
I lived in Northern Kentucky for 4 yrs and have a certificate from Martha Layne Collins (first female gov. of KY) designating me as a Kentucky Colonel — back then all ya hadda do was have your Vietnam Vet husband ask the Gov’s office for the honor to be given to a woman. 🙄 Seems like such a really dumb thing to have 🙄
But Dwight Yoakam’s music got me through living in Kentucky in the early 80s and back then it seemed like being appointed a Lady Kentucky Colonel by the first Lady Governor of Kentucky was supposed to be a Big F*cking Deal, as our current veepee might say :dancers: :doh: :ear:
Great work pj! Dr Suess would appreciate your effort :yippee:
Colonel RG, I love it!