They say it’s not gong to rain today, which would be a nice (if unusual) way to end the soggiest April on record. Hopefully I can get some fencing up this weekend, and hopefully figure out how to get the mower mounted on my tractor (though I think it’s still to goddamn wet to actually use it – which is a convenient excuse for when I can’t get the damn thing mounted). Anyhow, it’s getting light out, so I reckon I’d better get to it. Just as soon as I watch my recording of the royal wedding one more time.

This’ll have to be quick. I can barely see through the tears to type. The bride just looks so beautiful. And William, oh so dashing. He was so brave when his mum died. I don’t know how I can go to work after this.

Judging by the weather down south, I guess I shouldn’t complain about ours up here. But I will anyway. It’s now been the wettest April on record here. The real bummer is the wind. It’s been pretty fierce, and with the ground so wet, it doesn’t take much wind to take trees down. And we’ve had some nice ones come down. I guess they’ll make for good firewood in a couple of years. There were some as yet unconfirmed sightings of tornadoes down in the Ithaca area, which is very unusual for this are (too many hills, plus God doesn’t hate us nearly as much as He does other parts of the country where they’ll turned their back on the true teachings of Jesus – you know, peace love, and that greed is bad). I just hope that’s about it for a while. I’m ready for some drought.

The trackpad on the Mac has gone insane again, so it’s back to the trusty Dell. I understand the attraction to Apple products less and less. It’s like putting up with a nice-looking car that breaks down all the time. Really not worth the aggravation at some point.

Speaking of Apple products, the lemmings are flocking to Apple stores around the nation as Apple unveils its “new” iPhone. New in the sense that it’s white. Which seems odd to me, because the one thing I’ve never cared for appearance-wise is the whole white look. Well, to each his or her own, I guess.

Not that this Dell isn’t without its flaws, of course. The main thing being the keyboard, which is cramped, and has small keys that you have to push pretty hard. With my crappy typing skills, this is a bad combination.

I hate to talk about the weather, but I think God lifted his veil of protection on us yesterday. Twice. Hopefully He’s dropped it back down again. Two big-ass storms blew through within a couple of hours of each other, bringing lightning, wind, hail, and rain. Lots of f*cking rain. Enough to close the interstate through town, what with it being under water and all. Getting home was an adventure, as I ran across flooded-out streets, had to drive around big chunks of road and other debris, and was forced to take the scenic route because I kept running across closed streets. The rain brought us up to over 7.5″ for the month, and only about half an inch from the top spot. With more storms coming today and tonight, I’m pretty sure we’ll be #1 at least by the end of the month, if not by this time tomorrow.

Once I made it home, I had to repair a section of fence that got blown over and then go and suck up water in the basement because the power had gone out for a couple of minutes, and at the rate the rain was coming down, that was enough to flood things out a bit. The sump pumps have been running like crazy since (every 3 or 4 minutes or so), though (thank goodness). As I said, more rain and, perhaps worse, more nasty wind, hail and lightning today and tonight. This pretty much sucks, but I guess we’d better get used to this kind of severe weather being the new “normal,” what with all the extra energy in the atmosphere from the Global Warming that isn’t happening. At least I can say that I’m glad I don’t live in Arkansas (which I suppose goes without saying).

Oh, and today’s my mom’s birthday. She’d have been 87 today (hope she doesn’t mind me tellin’). Happy Birthday, mom.

The dogs have pretty much gone insane. I don’t know what it is they’re hearing at night, but whatever it is, it’s apparently pretty terrifying (never mind the thunder, which raises the terror alert to “red”). This means that there is approximately 5/8 of the bed for my wife, and 3/8 for me and about 150 pounds worth of dog. This arrangement means that one dog has to stand on top of me, which I can deal with for a while (as long as he isn’t standing on my naughty bits), but the combination paw and toenail pressure point eventually gets a little uncomfortable. Strangely, they seem much happier when we all (and by “all” I mean the dogs and me – certainly not my wife who is quite adept at at least feigning unconsciousness and snoring; she looks quite well-rested this morning – not that I resent that in the least, of course) get up and go to the living room and I try to sleep in the chair. Must be the white noise of the pellet stove. Whatever it is, it makes for very little sleep, and what I do get comes at the price of neck and back contortions that cause severe pain later on in the day. Like now. Something’s gotta give, here.

A new twist on the weather today. Instead of being cold, clammy, and rainy, it’s going to be hot, humid, and rainy. With five days left to go, this is already the fifth rainiest April in the books (and even a typical April around here isn’t exactly dry). I look forward to at least being able to turn the pellet stove off and not having the house get cold. Though I may need to get a white noise generator to calm the dogs down. Come to think of it, my Chumby has several different noise modes (white, pink, water, “nature,” all kinds of shit). I’ll have to give that a try.

One good thing, though, is that we should all (well, the dogs and I) be wide awake Friday at 4AM to watch the Royal Wedding coverage (you may not have heard, but apparently some prince or something is getting married). I’m pretty excited (not as excited as our friends in Canada, I guess – but they are, of course, subjects of the Crown and all that – before you scoff, recall that Americans pledge allegiance to piece of f*cking cloth – and Canadian money is even nicknamed for the British Royal Family – “loonies”).

Sadly, it appears that I’ve been snubbed and will not be receiving my wedding invitation, so I guess I can stop hanging around the mailbox and pestering the mailman (“is it here?! Did it come!?! Crap, nothing but f*cking bills again). We are not amused.

Stupid Queen.

Well, screw ’em. I guess they won’t be getting a wedding present from me. And to think, I was gonna go to Jared. BTW, outside of these stupid teevee commercials that I guess are designed to compel me to buy my wife jewelry lest I feel like a terrible husband (guess what? It aint working; if I’m gonna spend money, it’ll be on a bigger bed with a sidecar for the dogs), has anybody actually heard of this “Jared” store? They seem to want me to believe that it’s the epitome of a posh, high-class jewelry store, but I’m guessing it’s really right up there with McDonald’s.

Besides, around here, if you want high-class, you go to Egon Ehrlinspiel.

Oh well, time to get ready to go suffer through another day trying to stay awake at my desk. Looks like the dogs are catching up on their sleep, so they ought to be well-rested tonight.

It’s been a pretty wet April here. We average something like 3.4″ for the month of April, and we’ve already had more than 5″. This is on top of ground saturated by the snow melt (about 15 feet officially – so far), so things are pretty squishy out there. Even the parts of the lawn that seem hard turn to mud when you drive over them. I wish we could give some of our rain to Oklahoma, but water is the gift of life from God and, well, I’m pretty sure God hates Oklahoma. I mean, how else do you explain Tom Coburn and James Inhofe? Still, it would be nice if things would dry up a bit, but it looks like there’s more rain in the forecast for today (and tomorrow, and the day after, and the day after that…).

Is there anybody out there that actually gives a shit about the “royal wedding?” I mean, I don’t really care when people I know have a wedding, let alone strangers. I can understand the Brits being all agog, I guess (I don’t quite get that whole King and Queen stuff, but at least for them it’s some kind of tradition that they feel is worth paying for; I guess, given the choice between a decorative monarchy with National Health and a fake “democracy” – and, yes, a republic is a form of democracy – that has for-profit health care, I’d take the Queen thing).

Well, if you do actually care about the upcoming nuptials, you’re in luck, ‘cuz I don’t think you’ll be able to avoid it this week. I haven’t been able to, and goodness knows I’ve tried. I will, however, admit to being glad that they avoided Rowan Atkinson. I wonder if the Queen is a Blackadder fan? Somehow, I doubt it. She doesn’t strike me as having a sense of humor. Or even being particularly interesting. I mean, there’s a reason Showtime had a series about the Tudors (famous for debauchery) and not the Windsors (famous for a tie knot).

Still, I suppose you go the ratings war with the royal family you have, and not the royal family you might want or wish to have at a later time. Or something.

Oh well, much as I’d love to go buy a case of bon-bons and satiate my royal jones by watching the nonstop coverage, I reckon I’ll have to go to work instead.

It’s Easter Sunday (hard to believe; seems like just a month or so ago it was Ash Wednesday), which, if I recall my mythology correctly, is the A-Number-1 biggest day of the whole Christian year (which is the time it takes for the Sun to revolve around the Earth one time). Way bigger than X-mas, which gets all the publicity and righteous indignation from the likes of Fux News (especially that albino guy that looks like Beevis – or is it Butthead? – whose career – much like Greta Van Mushmouth’s – peaked with the OJ Trial). I mean, anybody can get themselves born (though, born to a virgin back before the days of artificial inspermination is a pretty good trick, I’ll grant ya that; you think Joseph ever felt like a schmuck for falling for that one, or was he more of a “don’t ask don’t tell” kinda guy?), but being executed and then getting up and walking away, well, without that, Jesus is just another hippie, commie-pinko, sandal-wearing carpenter, walking around spouting a whole lotta touchy-feeley peace, love, and anti-capitalist happy horseshit.

Of course, over the past couple thousand years, the Jesus story has morphed a bit, with the ” blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the Earth,” “let ye who is without sin cast the first stone” and that it’s “easier for a camel to pass though the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven” stuff being replaced by the parables of Gordon Gecko and the bible as interpreted by the likes of Fred Phelps and those rich preacher dudes on the teevee. On the bright side, we get chocolate Easter bunnies and “peeps,” which must make Jesus think that whole torture and death thing was so worth it.

What really pisses me off about today, though, is that Tractor Supply is closed. I mean, WTF? I need some shit from them, and if you’re not gonna give me the day off tomorrow (why the hell is Easter not a Monday holiday?), then I’m sorry but I only get two days off a week, and I really don’t need you shoving your corporate religious beliefs down my throat. I mean, here I have good old-fashioned American greenbacks (OK, more like good old-fashioned American plastic, but still) to spend, and y’all take it upon yourselves to close and give your employees a day off (not with pay, I bet, either)? Shameful.

Fortunately, Home Depot has no such compunction. They open at eight, and I’ll be there.

Happy Sunday.

Huge surprise, in that it’s Saturday and it’s raining. I believe it’s supposed to stop raining later on, before it starts raining again later. It may also rain again tomorrow. And then it’ll be Monday all over again. There’s something not quite right about all this, but I can’t quite put my finger on it. If I could put my finger on it, however, I know exactly which finger it would be. This wouldn’t be quite so bad if I could once again spend my evenings drinking myself into a contented stupor so that I wouldn’t feel like doing much more than vegetating in front of the teevee until feeling well enough in the early evening to start it all over again. But no, no more of that. I wish they’d hurry up and legalize pot, already.

On the bright side, tonight is the US season premiere of Dr. Who on BBCA, and they’re showing Whos all day long (well, they seem to be showing them right now, anyway – haven’t checked the schedule). I’ll of course be recording it, because I can’t stay up late enough to watch it in real time (not when the dogs – one in particular – seems insistent upon getting me out of bed no later than 4AM).

Well, I suppose I ought to go and see if there’s something I can get started on around here. In the meantime, here’s a blast from the past – three years ago, when the aforementioned dog was just a little puppy (no need for you non-animal people to bother clicking).

Stay dry out there.

It’s Good Friday, which might mean something to somebody out there. If I don’t get (or at least earn) a day off, then it doesn’t mean much of anything to me. Except it’s Friday, and that’s always a good thing, of course. And it starts out with a trip to the Dentist, and, goddamnit, they better actually have my crown back from the lab this time, ‘cuz I want this all over with already.

It’s also Earth Day, of course, and that does mean something to me, though I guess not enough for me to actually do much of anything special for it. I try to “live” it (to a limited extent that doesn’t require much effort). We have a CF light bulb in every fixture that will hold one, of course (I was using them way back when they were really expensive), and I wash with cold water (clothes, that is – I don’t freakin’ shower in cold water, whattya nuts?), have low-flow water fixtures and toilets (except for that one dual-flush thing I keep not installing – but I will. Soon. Honest), and am constantly turning lights off and closing doors and keeping the t-stats turned down (goddamn friggin’ cold in here, too), and well, of course composting and recycling and hopefully I’ll be making a homemade solar collector to heat the hot water with this summer, and it’s not because I’m cheap, mind you – it’s because I love my Mother Earth. Though I am kinda cheap.

Speaking of recycling, we’re pretty darn good at it around here, and have always had one of the top recycling programs (or so I’ve heard – not sure where they keep the stats on that sort of thing). In fact, the American Forest & Paper Association has named us the 2011 Community Recycling Award winner. We recycle something like 733 pounds of paper alone per person here (so either we have an inordinate amount of crap, or we do pretty good. I guess – as I said, it’s not as if they post the standings for that kind of stuff anywhere that I know of – hell, it’s not something important like baseball standings and line scores or whatever).

I remember the very first Earth Day. I was about 9 years old, and “active” in a group called the “Pollution Solution” (catchy name, eh?). I don’t really remember what we did, other than have meetings and stuff, though I suspect we went out and cleaned shit up. I was probably in it for the chicks (yeah, even at 9, I had an eye for the babes). I also organized a political action in protest of the Vietnam War ( a group of us refused to come in from recess). We all had to stand “nose and toes” against the wall (a typical form of punishment in my elementary school – no doubt designed to debase and humiliate us). Just the first of my many encounters of repression by “The Man” – or actually in this case “The Woman,” since our principal – Mrs. Clark, “Mrs Clarkbar” as we rather cleverly nicknamed her; I think her first name was even “Edwina,” which is pretty perfect for a principal – was a gray-haired old lady (ancient – you know, probably about the age then that I am today).

Well, that bitch (she probably wasn’t actually a bitch, to be honest) is either long dead or drooling in a wheelchair somewhere by now. :fist:

No, it wasn’t easy being a downtrodden (see, I have a long history of being downtrodden), long-haired (relatively speaking), nine-year old boy wearing homemade (by my sister – she was into sewing back then) psychedelic bell bottoms and hippy shirts & boots (I was kind of like a real live doll for her and her friends – they were all about 9 years older than me – to play with back then; this, I think, is why I was in to chicks – and I think it was more or less OK to call them “chicks” back then, except in England, where they were “birds” – at an early age; her friend Mary Lou Kennedy – no relation to the famous ones, as far as I know – was a gorgeous blonde with a rich dentist for a father and really nice house up on top of a hill; I wanted to nail her way before I ever knew what that meant, let alone knew how – or had the ability – to do it – in the ‘burbs). As I recall, I even had a Nehru jacket. Yes, I’ve pretty much been cool all my life. :jesus:

God, that was an awfully long time ago. My, how time flies.

Speaking of tempest fugiting, this is post #2,000 here, coming a rather astonishing five and a half years (give or take – just under 5 years and five months) after post #1, which was posted way back on November 28, 2005. That was before Twitter (but not before Facebook), before Fritz (but not before Siggy), about three months after Katrina (surely we’ve fixed New Orleans by now, right?) and also back during my first semester of grad school. I was still young back then (though I was the oldest kid my class).

Ah, those were the days.

Oh well, whatever your deal is – whether you go out and pick up some garbage or flail somebody before nailing them to a cross and leaving them to suffocate and die of exposure – have a Good Friday. And don’t forget to love your Mother.

We got a “survey” in the mail yesterday about “Obamacare.” Actually, my wife did, but she said I could fill it out. As expected, it turned out to be some kind of anti-abortion and anti-Planned Parenthood propaganda from some chick named Judie Brown (who I think used to be an MTV VJ or something) demanding money. Fortunately, Judie (who I feel compelled to mention appears to be a woman – just sayin’) included a SASE, so I was able to thank her for bringing this to our attention, and tell her that I would be making contributions to both NARAL and Planned Parenthood (which, I assured her, I would never had done had her kind mailing not motivated me), and would work diligently to expand “Obamacare” until it included government single payer healthcare for all – including health care for women that included respect for their reproductive rights. I also thanked her for her letter, which helps to put things in perspective for me.

As disenchanted as I am with President Obama, I explained, being reminded that there are batshit crazy mouth-breathing morons like her (and, most especially, anyone who give the likes of her their hard-earned money while wailing about “big government” running their lives and taking away their personal freedoms) out there makes me realize that even a spineless, DINO Republican-lite is way better. Hopefully that’ll be cool with her, and I eagerly await her reply. Hopefully it will come with another SASE, as I would love to help her group utilize at least a small part of its financial resources. Since the “survey” assured me that my response would be provided to Congress, I look forward to having my voice heard.

I then made a request of her, asking if it’d be OK to use her group’s mail permit number, so that I could spread the word far and wide. I even promised to present her point of view honestly

Happy Birthday to Violet, who is 4 years old today – thanks to the fact that there was no Obamacare 4 years ago, I guess. And hopefully she’ll be able to live a long, healthy life – assuming that people like Judie Brown never get their hands on her right to health care and privacy.