Not much I can say about the weather except, wow, I hope this lets up for all the poor folks in the South and Midwest (I almost feel guilty about how nice our weather was yesterday – and how nice it’s expected to be today). I don’t think the whole Red State thing is working out for y’all (though I can see why you cling to that whole Jeezus thing, what with it seeming like God is out to get you), so you might wanna think about turning blue.

Speaking of blue, up here in godless (yet relatively tornado and, this morning anyway, toad-free) New York things got a little bit bluer as Kathy Hochul tool NY’s 26th District. Poor Chris Lee; if I hadn’t deleted my Facebook page, I’d friend him. I think he needs a Hug from Hooterville or whatever stupid shit they have going on there. I would not poke him, however – no matter how buff he looks w/o a shirt on.

This ought to make Republicans fall all over themselves even faster trying to get away from Paul Ryan’s “kill Medicare” budget plan. Don’t let them try and tell you it’s all the teabagger’s fault, either. Hochul’s numbers actually rose at the teabagger’s (you can see I have no idea what his name is, and it’s not worth looking up) expense.

On the lo-cal news this morning, they’re saying that Hochul closed the gap in the polls after she “attacked” Jane Corwin for her support of the Ryan budget. A rather subtle and interesting spin on it, I think. It’s not that all those old Western NY voters don’t want their Medicare messed with – it was those shameless attacks.

If you’ve ever wondered how much your vote counts, it counts for about 3/10 of one percent. This is based on a local area school budget, which was overwhelmingly turned down by voters last week. The budget included a 5.3% property tax increase – not because the district is living high off the hog; like all the districts around here and around the State, I’m sure, they made budget cuts and laid off those godless teachers, aids, and janitors – thanks to Governor Snotball’s cuts in State Aid so that he’s able to say he didn’t raise taxes (his pals on Wall Street gave him his marching orders).

So, anyhow, the District approved an “austerity” budget that requires no vote, and it “only” raises taxes 5%. Oh, sure, they had to lay off a few more aids and janitors, but I’m sure our Governor thinks it’s worth it.

I wasn’t going to mention this, because I’m not absolutely certain of the timing. But I’m pretty sure, and that’s close enough. Seems the clock in my bathroom stopped at 5:53 on Saturday evening. Yes, a mere 7 minutes before the rapture was scheduled to happen. I’m pretty sure this is what foiled the plan, and now I’m scared to put fresh batteries in the clock, or it may be 7 minutes to Armageddon (which, coincidentally, is the title of my upcoming novel – “Seven Minutes to Armageddon: A Tek Jansen Adventure”). So here’s the deal: send me money (minimum bid applies), and the world stays safe. If I don’t get enough to make it worth my while, the batteries come out (and I’ve got plenty of AA batteries, so this is serious).

As a reward, the top bidder gets the Apocalypse Clock, with a fake certificate of authenticity (just pay a small shipping and handling fee), a fresh set of batteries (or an Amazon gift certificate for the value of a set of batteries, because I’m not sure about shipping a clock and batteries together – I don’t wanna get shipped off to Git’mo in the middle of the night), and a slightly used big blue toilet with a cracked tank. What you do with it from there is up to you.

So, whether you be god-fearing Kristian Kook hoping to bring about the end times, or godless heathen just hoping to hedge your bets by putting this clock safely away in a drawer somewhere with a “don’t put batteries in this clock” sticky note attached to it, it would behoove you to bid on this item.

You know, I bet I could actually get money for this on eBay. Maybe even enough to get a new clock for the bathroom.

It’s an early day for me today. Early in and out (wink-wink, nudge-nudge, say no more). Since I’m out of bed in the middle of the night these days (I really am turning into my dad – in some respects, at least, like getting up early and grunting to get up out of the chair, though I don’t seem to have inherited his intelligence or talent at fixing stuff), it’s not too hard to get there early.

Let’s hope it’s a calm day, weather-wise. Stay safe.