Being off Friday really screwed up my internal calendar. Yesterday felt like Sunday, but I’m really glad today doesn’t feel like Monday. And that I have Monday off. Tuesday, too, for that matter. Of course, Wednesday is gonna feel like five Mondays all rolled into one, but I won’t worry about that ’til Tuesday. I haven’t really done much of anything constructive the past couple of days. At the very least, I really should get busy putting my Armageddon Clock up on eBay. My idea was to have the auction expire at six PM on June 6. And shipping would be $6.66. But I have more ideas than I have ambition.

And for somebody with the opposite problem (plenty of ambition, but not much in the idea department) Fox news says there’s no change in Sarah Palin’s status. I guess that means she’s still a clueless, greedy idiot.

I’m sure everyone’s heard by now that Jeff Conaway died. This news is sure to sadden these folks over at the Landover Baptist Church forum. If these unspeakably horrible creatures are God’s representatives on Earth, I have to wonder how fucked-up God must be (and maybe Satan’s actually the good guy). Anyhow, most people remember Jeff as Bobby, the ditzy, male Sarah Palin equivalent in Taxi. Apparently he was also in Grease, which i never saw because I really don’t care for musicals (with the exception of Little Shop of Horrors), especially ones starring John Travolta (with the exception of Hairspray), though Olivia Newton John was pretty darn cute, back in the day (which brings to mind a bar I went to back in my yoot, whose bathrooms were named the Olivia Newton John and the Elton John – though, in retrospect, perhaps they should have called it the Doctor John; “Rebennack” would be a good euphemism – “be right back. Gotta go hit the Rebennack”).

Of course, being a geek, I’ll always think of Jeff as Zack Allen, the affable (never brooding – probably didn’t get laid much) Babylon 5 security officer who eventually worked his way up to Chief of Security. I hope there’s peace in death for you, Jeff.

So, I’m looking at the AOL Crappington Post this morning, and I stumble upon this:

Guys, want to look sexy and get the girl? Don’t smile too much. Look brooding or show a bit of shame instead.
[…]
Women find happy men less sexually attractive than those with expressions that show pride or hint that they have done wrong and know it, according to Canadian researchers.
[…]
“Men who smile were considered fairly unattractive by women,” said Jessica Tracy, a University of British Columbia psychology professor who directed the study.

And who am I to argue with a doctor lady that has two first names?

I don’t know about the “shame” part (oh, I’m bad, ladies. Very, very bad. Just not ashamed of it), but to all the people in my life who have told me I don’t smile enough and that I ought to go through life like a grinning idiot, go screw yourselves (no offense, ma).

Of course, this doesn’t explain why I was never a bigger hit with the babes all my life. I guess I should have spent more time in Canada, where the women apparently appreciate miserable sons of bitches. Oh well, maybe in my next life.

In other “need to know” news from Arianna’s online aggregator, the Future Princess of Monaco wore a “black jumpsuit” that, to my uneducated (and brooding) eyes looks like a black dress, except I guess it’s just some sort of coveralls with big baggy pants.

Monaco’s princess-to-be Charlene Wittstock stepped out to the Amber Lounge charity catwalk on Friday night with fiancé Prince Albert II in tow.

For the occasion, she wore a strapless, black jumpsuit with an embellished bodice and super-wide legs

Well, who doesn’t like an embellished bodice and super-wide legs?

Of course, the big question here is, do you really think Charlene would take Prince Albert out of the can if he didn’t have money (and the title, of course – we know how chicks dig a fancy title, like “Prince” or “The Donald” or “HVAC Guy”)?

Hell no – look at the smile on that goofy bastard’s face.