A couple of weeks ago, I went to see my friends at the dentist’s office, and got my teeth cleaned. Frankly, it hurt like a son-of-a-bitch. The hygienist wasn’t one I knew – though I’ve seen her around; hell, there’s only two of them – and she was not in amy way, shape, or form gentle with me. I don’t mind it a little rough, but golly. Anyhow, she said I was doing OK, no bleeding, not much plaque, but some “staining” (which feel vaguely ashamed of for some reason, but it would have to be either coffee or Newman’s Own™ Balsamic Vinaigrette, because that’s pretty much the only stainy-type stuff that makes it past my lips these days – at least until SSM takes effect next month).

But no, then the dentist had to come in and give me the once-over, and, lo-and-behold, he says I have a couple of “chipped” teeth (which I’m pretty sure isn’t a recent development, but I guess it’s summer and he needs to get the boat in the water or maybe his kid’s going to college in the fall). So, they have a pretty neat system there, ‘cuz I consider myself a pretty savvy consumer (I mean, I always turn down the extended maintenance contract and stuff, though I did fall for the undercoating once, but I was young), but somehow I had an appointment to get them “built up” and I don’t even remember anybody asking. Anyhow, today’s the day I have to go in and get this done. I really hope there isn’t any pain involved here, but somehow I bet there will be. At the very least, it’ll cost me money, and that hurts.

Bernie Sanders gave a 10,000 word speech on the floor of the Senate yesterday, urging voters to urge the President “not to yield one inch.” I didn’t actually see (let alone read – I mean, that’s about 9,000 more words than I can manage w/o falling asleep) his speech, so naturally I figured it had something to do with gay marriage or that Michelle Bachmann thinks Radar O’Reilly is from Waterloo, Iowa (when everybody knows he’s from Ottumwa), but it turns out it was something to do with not stealing from the poor to give to the rich.

Well, good luck getting any action from President “Reverse Robin Hood Noodle Spine” Obama on that one, Bernie.

Judging by their license plates, New Hampshire’s motto is “Live Free or Die.” This sentiment apparently doesn’t extend to pets or the humans who own them, though, as NH has a new law mandating DNA samples from suspected pet poopers. OK, well, it’s not actually a law. It’s a rule at an apartment complex. But it’s still something Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachmann ought to get out there and, um, do whatever it is that those two actually do, about.

I knew somebody from NH once. He was kind of a putz. Not sure if everybody from NH is a putz – I’ve heard rumors, though, and from what I understand, they don’t shave their armpits, which is OK by me, ‘cuz I don’t shave mine, either – I’m a plucker.

Speaking of which, it’s about that time, so I guess I better go pluck myself.