Thirty-six years ago today (more or less) “Money for Nothing” was the number one song. Not exactly Dire Straits’ best effort (not even anywhere near the best song on the “Brothers in Arms” album; I think I’d have to go with the title track there), IMHO, but not exactly the worst song I’ve ever heard, either. Not a song you’d have heard on Canadian radio starting back in January, because it was banned by the Canadian Broadcast Standards Council. Why? Because it uses the word “faggot” (and they aint talking about cigarettes or bundles of sticks, either), and a single listener of CHOZ in Newfoundland bitched about it.
“Money For Nothing” was immediately deemed a breach of the Human Rights Clauses of the Canadian Association of Broadcasters’ (CAB) Code of Ethics and Equitable Portrayal Code.
Never mind that the word is used satirically (basically making fun of a guy who moves refrigerators and color TVs, delivers custom kitchens and installs microwave ovens, and who – judging by the MTV video – is related to Rosie on the Jetsons or maybe the Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robot dudes).
Who knew Newfoundlanders were so touchy (as an aside, this all reminds me of an episode, of ‘All in the Family’ where Archie tells Edith she can’t donate his mohair jacket because the “mo” is still perfect, and when Gloria tells him there’s no such animal as a “mo” he says “the Canadian woods are full of mos!” But I digress)?
And who knew that a single uptight Canuck could trump freedom of expression? I mean, to paraphrase The Who – “who the fucking West Virginia are you?”
“It made us look silly in the eyes of the broadcast community around the world,” writer/broadcaster Alan Cross, a 30-year veteran of the Canadian radio biz, tells Rolling Stone. “I talked to people from the U.S. and the U.K. and they were like, ‘What’s wrong with you people? Don’t you get it? It’s a joke. It’s a satire. You didn’t understand the context?'”
Speaking on behalf of the United States of America, I’d just like to say it’s nice to know we’re not always the biggest morons on the continent.
But good news, my Canadian friends and neighbors. This month, the CBSC lifted its ban of Money for Nothing.
Another GOP debate last night? Jesus H. Christ, pick one of these idiots already so we can get back to Dancing with the Stars. Better yet, put these schmucks on ‘The Biggest Loser’ and let them be judged by Simon Whatshisname and that drunk chick. Although, if one of these assholes gets elected, we’re all the biggest losers.
Speaking of losing, we’re rapidly losing the daylight in the evening, and it’s now officially Autumn, as of a little over an hour ago. As they keep saying in ‘Game of Thrones,’ “winter is coming.” If I see my shadow today, it means six months of winter. But if I don’t, it means spring will be here in a mere 180 days.
On the bright side, in case you hadn’t noticed, today is Friday. Yes, Friday! The day I’ve been looking forward to since Sunday. And there’s a “Barn Moving” sale just down the road a piece tomorrow, which I’m gonna have to check out, ‘cuz who knows what kind of neat shit they might have. Plus, I wanna find out how they’re gonna move that barn, ‘cuz it’s pretty goddamn big.
But first, there’s a little matter of getting today over with.