So, I was watching something on NOVA the other morning, and they showed the obligatory footage of people on Star Trek (various generations) being “beamed” (both up and down), while speculating over whether it was technology that is, at least, theoretically possible. And, of course, it kind of is.

As I understand it (and I’m no Miles O’Brien{{1}}[[1]]I refer to the character played by Colm Meany, though the CNN science and Technology reporter of the same name works, too.[[1]], so I could be wrong), the Star Trek process, at least, would involve having all the information about your atoms mapped, recorded (that’s where those Heisenberg Compensators would come in handy), and stored in the “pattern buffer” (something more than you need to stream YouTube video, I’m guessing; Scotty managed to store himself in the buffer long enough to get him from TOS to TNG{{2}}[[2]]Clearly, the best transporter chiefs are of Celtic descent.[[2]]) then your body being disintegrated, its matter converted into energy, the energy beam being “streamed” (or beamed, if you prefer) to its destination, and then converted back into matter and everything put back into place. So, let’s say that works.

Would you do that? I mean, it sounds like an acceptable way to move stuff around (like, furniture or whatnot), but what about you? I mean, at the heart of it, the you that’s “you” gets disintegrated. Even if all your memories, thoughts, ideas, etc., get copied over to the new destination, the part that was the original “you” is gone. So, like, you’d be dead, no? And would that matter? I mean, the you that was you presumably wouldn’t give a shit, ‘cuz you’d be dead (assuming that whole heaven thing is bullshit; otherwise, it could get awkward up on that cloud), and the new you would be happy, ‘cuz it got to beam to Maui without having to fart around with airport security. But would “you” still be “you”? I don’t think so. I think you die every time you step on that thing, and an impostor takes your place (only to be killed and duplicated for the return trip).

I mean, even for somebody who doesn’t buy into the whole “eternal life” and “soul” nonsense, I think you’re still be killed, whether you know it or not.

It’s like when you go through some god awful medical procedure, and they tell you “don’t worry, this shit I’m giving you will keep you from remembering anything{{3}}[[3]]A direct quote from Dr. Conrad Murray, I believe.[[3]].” Yeah? Well, bullshit. That doesn’t mean you aren’t suffering through it at the time. I don’t care if I remember or not.

I guess I’m just an “in the moment” kinda guy.

So, anyhow, I think I save the transporter for intimate objects.

I’m totally down with the whole Holodeck thing, though. It would be a great way to kill time at work.