We dodged the old Lake Effect snow bullet yesterday. Only about 6″, but just to the north in Fulton, they got 32″ (doubling their seasonal total in one storm). That’s a fair amount of snow in a day (less than day). Pretty hard to keep up with that. But today it’s supposed to be in the 40s. My sump pumps are humming away pretty good. One was going every three minutes last night. I can hear it from my bedroom while I’m not sleeping. Bad night and morning, dog-wise. I wish I could just work from home. I mean, I could, of course, if the people who ran the IT department would allow it. Sadly, no.

Decisions, decisions. Looks like we got about six inches of snow out there. Not sure if it’s worth plowing or not. I’m thinking not. Then again, there always seems to be more out there than I thought, so maybe I should. Actually, what I really should do is go back to bed.

Getting a late start today, because the dogs let me sleep in (I wasn’t actually sleeping, but figured I wouldn’t make a move until they did), and only got me up twice last night (first one, then the other – god forbid they both go at the same time). So now I’m watching Bill Maher, and wondering why. Why have Dana Rohrfucker on? He’s a lying, loudmouthed douchebag who adds absolutely no value to the show (or the planet). And combining him with loudmouthed twit Kennedy (she is apparently a celebrity or something?). Oy. Poor Marty Bashir.

It’s Friday. Yes, indeed. Finally. This is the first five-day week I’ve had to work in a while (since before Christmas, I think, but I might have had a 5-day’er in there somewhere), and I’m on-call to boot, so it’s been a long one. Quite glad it’s over. That is to say, I will be quite glad when it’s over.

They showed the recently-completed teevee pilot based in Syracuse called “Upstate” on one of the local channels last night. It was written by the guy that did Murphy Brown (among other things), so I had high hopes for it. Sadly, it pretty much sucked. Bummer.

A tall cattle truck had an encounter with a low bridge here in town last night. As is often the case with these things, the bridge won. The bad news is that several cows were injured so badly that they had to be put down. The good news is that 22 cows were “rescued.” They showed video of them poking their little noseys out the holes in the carrier. The bad news is they were on their way to slaughter, anyway. Poor cows.

A couple of amendments to RBA 2012. First, females will also be required to donate eggs. This will ensure a steady supply of embryos in order to produce stem cells and flavor-enhancing fetuses (hat tip to Sue). The frozen embryos will be sold (I’m envisioning ads in the back of magazines, kind of like those Sea Monkey/Seahorse ads). This should attract private-sector investment, thereby limiting the need to add to existing government bureaucracy (naturally there will be almost no regulation or government oversight for this program). That should alleviate the concerns of the Representative from Oklahoma.

Finally, schools will be funded solely by the federal government, not from property taxes. The quality of a kid’s education shouldn’t be determined by how wealthy the community he or she lives in is.

I’m sure there will be more changes as this moves through the legislative process. I’m hoping we can get this added to a bill cutting taxes for rich people.

Oh, and I mandate dogs but not cats because dogs are more difficult to take care of, and having one teaches you responsibility and to care about something other than yourself. Having a cat teaches you to lay around, and get away with being finicky and acting like a snotball.

Oh well, let’s get this party started.

I’ve been giving a lot of thought to those poor parental units out there, faced with school closings and class size increases and all that. So I’ve come up with what I’m calling the “Responsible Breeding Act of 2012.” It is, if I do say so myself, a rather elegant solution. My only regret is not having it prepared in time for Gabby Giffords to introduce it on her last day in office (which I’m pretty certain would have ensured enactment).

There are a couple of facets to this legislation that are required to make it work. First, there’s a little bit of tax relief for those people who don’t actually have kids in public school. If you have a kid in school, you have to pay $500 per year per kid for every year your kid goes to public school. That money will be pooled and distributed evenly to all households that pay school taxes (maximum household income limits for rebates, and corporations are not eligible), but don’t actually have kids in school.

Of course, that, in and of itself, isn’t really viable. What with the cost of getting a kid started being pretty cheap, lots of people that have kids won’t have the bucks to pony up for the school fee (never mind money for books, food, clothes, etc.). That’s where the real meat and potatoes (or, rather, eggs and mayonnaise) of the RBA come in.

All adolescent males will need to provide sperm (they’re doing it anyway, so we – and by “we” I mean somebody other than “me” – might as well collect it). This will be frozen, tested for viability, healthiness, etc., and securely stored. Once there is a sufficient supply (I figure a gallon ought to do it; should take the average 13-yr old about six weeks), the males will be sterilized.

Oh, I know, that sounds harsh. But think about it. Teen pregnancy will be reduced to near zero, abortions will be extraordinarily rare, and the “deadbeat dad” problem will be all but eliminated. Frankly, guys can’t relied upon to be responsible and shouldn’t be trusted with live ammunition.

Now, in order to pay for sperm collection, storage, and eventual insemination, people desiring to procreate will need to obtain a breeding permit. There’ll be an application process requiring prospective breeders to prove financial stability and fitness to parent (perhaps take some classes), and would also require a background check and mental screening. This won’t totally prevent unstable or abusive people from becoming parents, but it should help.

In addition to the basic permit fee, prospective breeders will be required to provide a deposit equivalent to five years worth of school fees. This deposit will be returned if the child dies or is otherwise unable to attend public school, and will also be returned if the kid graduates from school on time (refund reduced for each year held back). Oh, and every kid has to get a puppy (kitties optional, but encouraged) from the shelter by their fourth birthday at the latest.

So, there you have it. A solution for unwanted pregnancy, overpopulation, overcrowded schools, teen pregnancy, and abortion. Incentive for parents to stay involved in their kids’ school work and see to it they graduate on time. Tax relief. Reduction of the human carbon footprint. Rampant fornication without consequences (well, other than STDs and whatnot). And puppies.

Everybody wins. :pup:

Oh, I know what you’re thinking. This plan favors the wealthy and discriminates against the poor. And I say, yes, you’re right, it does. I don’t know if you’ve looked around out there, but life favors the wealthy and discriminates against the poor. Bummer, but that’s how it goes.

I also readily admit that if this plan had been in place 50+ years ago, I wouldn’t be here right now. I think, somehow, the world would have survived.

Also, this plan puts all the onus on the male of the species, in terms of not reproducing. Again, that’s correct. While I admit that it takes two to tango, only one gets the option to walk away when the music stops. And that’s the one that need to take some responsibility upfront, ‘cuz we can’t trust him to do it after the fact.

I didn’t watch the SOTU last night. But I guess the President posited a bunch of propositions that of course will never happen. Like a millionaire tax rate of 30%. And free ice cream for everybody. The Republicans, predictably, think free ice cream for poor people is a bad idea, though rich people who get free ice cream tend to create more jobs, so that’s cool. Mostly, the Republicans in the audience all looked as if somebody was holding a turd under their collective noses. Which is to say, they looked the same as they always do.

What with all the cuts in State school funding here in NYS and the 2% property tax hike, parents are irate – absolutely freakin’ irate – at any proposal to close budget gaps. For instance, half-day kindergarten is definitely out (one parent lamented the idea of having to pay for day care just before complaining about paying taxes; I’m not sure where he thinks the money to keep the schools open comes from. I would tell him that, from my perspective, it would be cheaper for me if he had to pay for day care than if I have to pay to keep his kids in school, but this would probably be too difficult a concept for him to grasp, much like those who want the government to stay away from their Social Security). Also out is a proposal to close a middle school and combine grades 5-12. Another parent said she was horrified – absolutely horrified at the thought of her little girl going from K-4 to 5-12. Another woman said this was just gonna tear the community apart (very sad – nearly made me cry in my coffee).

Back in the olden days, there was such a thing a “junior high,” which (in my school district) was actually grades 7-12, and Elementary School was K-6. They did away with that just before I hit fifth grade, but my sister seems to have survived the experience.

Well, whatever. Thing is, if you want to have schools (and roads and cops and firefighters and parks and…), somebody’s gotta pay taxes. And it aint gonna be Mitt Romney (whose effective tax rate is actually about 9% lower than the average one-percenter).

So that leaves you, Mr and Mrs Teabagger. And me, too, of course.

Today is stupid meeting day. Always a thrill. I mean, even more thrilling than a normal work day. I can’t wait to get started.

So, Mittens released one year’s worth of tax returns, and it looks like his effective tax rate is about 14% (which he’s very proud of). I’m not sure where his Cayman Island money fits in. You know what? I think rich people can afford to pay a couple percent more, don’t you?

Meanwhile, one of the larger school districts in my area is considering going back to half-day Kindergarten (which was how we rolled back in my day). This has working parents rather understandably perturbed, as they will now have to figure out what to do with their kids during the day (some might say you should’ve thought about that before you had the kids, but not me). I say, let them audit first grade classes. They won’t get course credit, of course, but imagine what a jump they’ll have on things when they get to real first grade.

Sorry to hear that everybody is so bummed out about the Super Bowl matchup (death threats via Twitter to Kye Williams, even). Maybe since nobody west of the Mississippi cares, they could start it at, like, 3PM Eastern Time. That way it’ll be over at a decent hour, and not interfere with The Simpsons. And I might actually watch it. I mean, a 6:30 kickoff means more like 6:40, and even a normal football game would go at least until 9:30 or so. With all the dilly-dallying and bullshit involved with the SB, it won’t be over until after 10:00. And that’s just too damn late for a game that doesn’t have Donovan McNabb in it. Especially on a Sunday (though I see no reason why they don’t make the next day a Monday holiday).

It already feels like this week has been three days long already. I really need to get more sleep.

Happy New Year! It’s the year of the dragon. Funny, seems like it was the year of the dragon just 12 years ago. It’s also “Blue Monday” – “scientifically” determined to be the most depressing day of the year. Whereas I have to work a 5-day week, and have the “support” duty, I can’t argue.

It’s warm out this morning, and the dog is outside staring in the direction of the woods, and barking. I have no idea what he’s barking at. I think he’s doing the old dog equivalent of yelling “get off my lawn” at the coyotes, or something. Well, whatever makes him happy.

I was rooting around unsuccessfully searching for my soldering iron yesterday (haven’t seen it since since we moved), because I need to fix on of my workshop speakers. While I didn’t find it, I rather enjoyed taking a trip down memory lane, looking at all the things I’ve absolutely had to buy over the years that became obsolete or otherwise useless about a week after I bought them. I tried not to calculate a dollar amount, though.

I also ran across a treasure trove of eye glasses, so that was cool. My current glasses are scratched, broken, or scratched and broken.

Happy Birthday to Richard Dean Anderson. Many think of him as McGyver, but to me he’ll always be Col. Jack O’Neill.

Oops, apparently I forgot to actually turn this on this morning. Though it doesn’t seem anybody would actually notice.

We took a giant step toward the dynasty of King Newt in South Carolina last night, as Gingrich pasted that no-good Massachusetts liberal Mitt Romney. Who knew that Rick Perry’s endorsement would have such an impact? I’m confident that Newt will be a benevolent dictator, and am looking forward to his reign. Sucks to be Mitt, though, and I guess what with Republican math being what it is, we should probably wait a week or so and see if it doesn’t turn out that somebody else actually won (or, as they say in Iowa, it’s a “split decision”).

Now it’s on to Florida. Let’s hope nothing goes wrong with Callista’s mobile refrigeration unit. I’d hate to see her hair melt in all that Florida sun.

Speaking of Massachusetts, I have to give a tip of my hat to Scott Brown. Brown is afraid that public servants such as myself (and my wife) will be devastated by Socialist Party Chairman Barack Obama to tax income above $250,000 at a slightly higher rate.

I appreciate that, Scotty. I really do. But, being public servants, you know what? We’re more than happy to share the wealth. In fact, you can actually have every dime of what I make over $250,000. Take it – it’s yours. I’m sure all the teachers, police officers, firefighters, etc., all feel the same way.

Now, if you’d like to knock something off my property taxes, go for it. Just be sure to maintain all the services I depend on at the same (or higher) level.

Oh, and shouldn’t us non-breeders get a little discount on the school taxes? Just a thought.

Got an e-mail from Al Franken yesterday. He said I should shut the fuck up about SOPA and that I’m a misinformed asshole that doesn’t know what I’m talking about (I’m paraphrasing). Clearly, Al and his buddies in the House and Senate are rather shocked at the large number of ignorant assholes such as myself, and this legislation is currently on hold as they try to figure out who the hell woke up the unwashed masses (they’ll probably just attach it to bill extending unemployment benefits or something). Since Al has been a supporter of Net Neutrality (one of the very few people in Congress that I think actually understands the issue), I was kind of confused. So I decided to educate myself, and looked Al up at OpenSecrets.

His top individual contributor is Time Warner, and in terms of industry contributions, the TV/Movies/Music industry is number three at almost a million dollars (lawyers are #1 at $1.4 million).

You could say that, of course, what with Al being a teevee personality and writer and whatnot, he would naturally attract money from the industry. And I’d agree with that. Plus, being as he’s earned a living from his intellectual property, I’d also understand why he’d have an interest in protecting copyrights and shit.

But SOPA and PIPA are crap bills that cede a huge amount of power to a tiny fraction of already enormously wealthy corporations and their investors who have the finances to buy politicians and write legislation for them to rubber stamp, at the expense of censoring the Internet and without actually solving the problem.

I understand why some of these idiots in Congress don’t understand, because they’re ignorant (some willfully, some genetically). But Al is smarter than that.

Hey, you get what you pay for though, right?

Before anybody chides me for pointing this out and telling me that Al is better than, say, that other guy – who was it? Pawlenty? I forget. Oh, Norm Coleman, that’s right. He of the major dental work. Lack of sleep and stress is getting to me – or Michele Bachmann (who opposes SOPA, BTW) or whatever, let me just say, yes. He is better than them and has done some good (or at least stood and spoke for things I agree with), but – much like my views on our President – I am capable of having complex (and often conflicting) feelings, and Al has been bought off, and is on the wrong side of this.

And it pisses me off. Plus, his singing used to irritate me, and his radio show was frequently boring and couldn’t hold a candle to Morning Sedition.

There – take that, Al.