Well, the July jobs report is out, and the numbers are…. Better. 163,000 jobs added, unemployment up a tick to 8.3%, and public sector jobs down 9,000. I’m sure the Mittster will whine that things just aren’t good enough (I don’t recall him saying much when the US was hemorrhaging jobs ever month under Bush, but then he might have been busy dressing up his wife’s horsey or whatever is those dressagers do). Hopefully things will steadily improve (not just because it would be good for everybody to have a job, but because if things continue to tank, we’re gonna get stuck with Romney, and then everybody will have to wear magic panties and get multiple wives and, damn it, I can’t afford another wife – especially after Mitt raises my taxes to pay for the cuts he wants to give himself and his pals at the yacht club).

Speaking of taxes, Mitt says Harry Reid needs to “put up or shut up” when it comes to Romney probably not paying any taxes for ten years (or more). I think Mitt ought to just release his tax returns – that should both embarrass Harry and make him shut up, right?

Except, now Dana Bash says she has a second source (albeit one close to Harry Reid) who says Reid’s source is credible and in a position to know these things.

I did speak to one source who is very close to Senator Reid who claims to also know who the Bain investor is that Reid spoke with, and insists that it is a credible person and this person if we knew the name we would understand they would have the authority and the ability to know about Romney’s tax returns.

C’mon, Mitt. Go ahead and show everybody how this is all a pack of lies!

Here’s a believable story: a 21-yr old kid (who, just happened to be black) was a passenger in a pickup truck that got pulled over. The cops found some pot, ran his info, and found he had a warrant in Mississippi, so they cuffed the kid’s hands behind his back, and put in the squad car. At which point, they heard a “thump” or two, and turned around to find the kid shot in the head.

Golly, how’d that happen?

Clearly, according to the cops, the kid had a hidden gun that they missed, and he got it free – with his hands cuffed behind his back, did I mention? – and shot himself. A regular suicidal Houdini, this guy.

The really important news, however, is that Robert Pattison is reportedly speaking to Kirsten Stewart again. Thank goodness for that. I hope those two kids make it.

The other Kirsten Stewart-related headline at the Crappington Post was:

Kirsten Stewart’s Inbox Leaked

I thought, what? Now they’re reporting on the poor kid’s hygiene issues? But, no, it turned out to be “…a bit of epic satire: detailed, hilarious, and, ultimately, kind of sad” picture of a fake Gmail page.

Other than not being hilarious or especially detailed, it’s just terrific. cept