I’m sure all our hearts and prayers are with Ron Jeremy today, as he fights for his life with an aneurysm near his heart. I’ve never met the man, but as a porn projectionist back in the mid-eighties, I certainly became familiar with his work. Difficult to believe that “The Hedgehog” is only a few years older than I am, as he looks much older. Of course, the life of a porn star is a hard one.

As concerned as I am about Ron, the item that caught my eye was a headline that read, “WATCH: Woman Eats Cat Hair Voraciously.” It was accompanied by a photo of a woman who appeared to be in the process of licking a cat (I didn’t click through to the story, so I don’t know if this is her preferred method of ingestion or not – my first vision was of her sitting down to a big cereal bowl full with a spoon and some milk).

Now, why the fuck would I (or anyone) want to “watch” somebody “eat cat hair voraciously?” I can think of a few things more disgusting to watch (one of which would be video of this woman hacking up a fur ball), but not many.

I also saw a headline that read, “Rock Legend Recording His First Album In 4 Decades” with a photo of somebody that I didn’t recognize. So I thought, wow, whoever that legend is, he really didn’t age well if I can’t even recognize him. Then I clicked through to the story to find out that it was about Sixto Rodriguez.

I’m sure Vernon and you more erudite folks out there know who that is, but, frankly I never heard of him, which of course has nothing to do with his talent or anything like that but I’m pretty sure that in order to qualify as a “rock legend” I really should have heard of you. Not that I’m a music expert, of course.

Turns out Sixto wasn’t much of a hit in the US, but he was a major deal in South Africa. OK, so maybe I’m being jingoistic, but it doesn’t seem like having two hit albums in South Africa in the early seventies qualifies you as a rock legend. Maybe a South African rock legend.

Anyhow, I’ll have to listen to his stuff, and see if it’s any good.

Good news for ‘niners fans, as Nate Silver is predicting a San Fran win over Baltimore in the Super Bowl, which I think is coming up on Sunday. To the extent that I care, I’ll be pulling for the Ravens, since they have former SU guy Art Jones, and also because I’ve been a big fan of Edgar Allen Poe ever since I was just a youngster (“A Cask of Amontillado” was probably the first story to ever inspire nightmares). Poe helped shape my rosy outlook on life.

Speaking of Poe, I also saw (though I didn’t read) a story that the world’s first alcoholism vaccine is about to begin clinical trials. I’m not sure why you need a vaccine to become an alcoholic – beer seems to work pretty well for me, and I don’t even need to shoot it.

Yesterday was a bit of a disappointment for me. I ordered a new chair for my home office (I think the one I’m using is something like 15-16 years old; I’ve had it longer than I’ve had my wife). The old one is still comfortable, but it doesn’t adjust vertically (or any other way, for that matter, except to tilt or not to tilt), and I need something that’s just a little bit higher. So, I ordered one (and did the Amazon credit card thing to get $50 off, so it was a pretty good deal).

Anyhow, it was supposed to come yesterday but, sadly, it’s coming FedEx. And every time it rains a little in Memphis (FedEx’s “hub”), FedEx falls to pieces and can’t deliver (funny, UPS almost never seems to have these weather-related delays). It did make it to Syracuse last night, so hopefully they can manage to get it to my place some time today. As long as I can get it put together tonight and have it for my work from home day tomorrow.

Oh well, time to get back to work. Have a good one.

It’s a balmy 20° out there this morning, and they say it’s going to get up to 37 today. That, of course, means we’re going to get punished: snow this morning, and sleet/freezing rain to end the work day. Should be nice. Tomorrow is supposed to be in the mid-forties, and Wednesday the mid-fifties. Then things gradually return to normal. Still it’ll be nice to get the driveway cleared of snow (somebody’s been a little lax in plowing; I blame it on the high cost of diesel).

I hear that a group of eight “bipartisan” Senators have come up with a plan for immigration reform. They’re supposed to announce the details today that will include the vaunted “path to citizenship.” That’s nice, and hopefully it’ll all work out. I just hope it doesn’t turn out to be something along the lines of how Germans treats the Turks – cheap labor and less than second-class non-citizenship. Still, if it keeps the price of grapes, lettuce, and apples cheap, I’m all for it.

After that, let’s legalize dope everywhere.

But first, it’s time to get ready for work. It’s really such a godawful waste of time. If I was working from home today, I’d already be at my virtual desk. As it is, I won’t get in until 6:30 or so. Maybe later if the weather sucks. I see by the radar that the morning snow is almost upon us.

Looks like Friday’s post was abandoned.  Today’s post will be short, since I have nothing important to say– like usual. Guess that sums it all up. Have a good one.

Another brisk morning here (and pretty much everywhere in the north from the midwest to the east coast). It was about -10 out our way (at least according to the thermometer in Granny’s car – my sister had -11 over at her place). It’s still well below zero, though there are hopes that we’ll hit double digits (barely) later on. Definitely keeps the beer nice and frosty. I have 4 tons of pellets coming tonight, which is good ‘cuz we’re down to about 20 bags, and that won’t last us 2 weeks if it stays this cold. Though they say we’ll be up to 40 next week, which will be nice.

It’ll also be nice to get today over. I have this thing where I sleep until about 2:00 or so, and then I’m awake (or in some state that’s somewhere between being awake and being asleep) for the rest of the night. It makes it easy to come into work early, but the day sure starts to slow down by about eleven o’clock. That’s why working from home is nice – I can get some work done while my brain is actually engaged.

Speaking of engaging my brain, I guess I’d better get back to work.

Stay warm.

It’s a balmy 1° outside this morning, and it doesn’t feel all that much warmer inside, to tell you the truth. My feet are cold. We’re not expected to crack double-digits today. Seems a shame to have to leave the house, but not only do I have to actually go to the office today, it’s stupid meeting day. Both are huge wastes of time and productivity killers. And it’s my late day, which means I have to sit around the house trying to figure out how to kill time before leaving the house, and then drive home in the dark (and cold – did I mention it’s cold?).

We’ve got some snow on the ground, but nothing like what our friends just to the north got. There’s been a persistent and rather stationary band of lake effect snow over them, and some areas got about three feet of snow yesterday. Better them than us. Hopefully things will stay that way.

Otherwise, not much is new. There was a mass shooting in Texas yesterday. The only thing newsworthy about that is that nobody was killed – just wounded. I haven’t been able to find out from the various news reports what kind of weapon was used (you’d think something like that would be in the story – or at least something like “law enforcement officials won’t disclose the type of firearm used in the shootings”), but, judging by the relatively small number of people shot and the lack of fatalities, I’m guessing it wasn’t an assault rifle with a 100 shot magazine. I could be wrong, of course.

Bud – the trouble making dog – managed to get himself stuck halfway through the cat door in one of our gates that prevent the dogs from going into forbidden territory in the house. He got his head and both front legs through, and buried himself up to his chest before he could go no farther. I’d have had to break his front legs to get them to bend back through, so instead I had to cut out one of the bars on the gate. What a hassle. I’m just glad we were home at the time – he was pretty upset and probably could have hurt himself if we hadn’t been there to calm him down. It’s always something with him.

Oh well, time to prepare the Kings and other chew toys that will hopefully keep the little monsters busy (and away from the valuable stuff).

Have a good one.

Today’s kind of a double-dose of “fuck you” to the wingnut racist assholes out there. Not only does that you-know-what get ceremonially sworn in front of upwards of a million of the lazy slackers on the public dole that he gave all kinds of gifts to so they’d vote for him and not have to work for a living, but it’s also a public holiday honoring that other you know what who fucked everything up for the white man (and we had such a good thing going for the first couple hundred years, too). No matter how disappointed I am with Obama, it’s always nice to see a few teabagger’s heads explode. Which is a neat trick, because their skulls are basically filled with inert ingredients.

Otherwise, there’s no much going on today. The weather has turned a bit chilly – and temperatures are supposed to drop all week. They say the high temperature on Thursday will be in the single digits (take that, Al Gore). I’m trying to decide if I have enough ambition to leave the house to buy groceries and get gas. Plus I should drop off the checks to pay the property taxes. I really ought to, but that would involve getting dressed, and I don’t actually have to leave the house until Wednesday, so I dunno.

I doubt I’ll be watching any of the inauguration, though I gather that there’s really big news: Michelle Obama has bangs now. Now I just need to find out who made the dress she’ll be wearing, and my day will be complete. I’m sure there will be plenty of stupid-looking hats on display, too.

Whatever you do today, have a good one.

Finally, it’s Friday – and a three-day weekend at that. Finally, I get to spend some quality time with my imaginary girlfriend. Maybe we’ll hang out with Lance Armstrong and do some “T”. It’s pretty cold here today, and while it’s supposed to warm up tomorrow, the thaw won’t last long, as next week we’re predicted to get much colder (below zero, even). So I decided it was time to finally order another 4 tons of pellets. We’re going through them pretty fast, and are down to about 30 bags (1200 pounds). At the rate we’re burning, that’s about two and a half weeks’ worth. I’m kinda into staying warm, now that I’m old.

I don’t know if anybody’s familiar with the “Evil Dead” movies (Evil Dead, Evil Dead 2 and Army of Darkness), but they’re Sam Raimi classics starring Bruce Campbell. Well, now they’re doing a remake, and it turns out it stars everybody’s favorite city girl transplanted to the ‘burbs, Jane Levy. As cute as she is in Suburgatory, she’s equally creepy-looking in this movie – at least judging by the trailer. I can hardly wait to see it.

Have a good weekend.

Well, it’s always nice to start out the day with a trip to the dentist. Nothing too nasty today, however, and I received much praise for being such a good boy with my “home care.” So that’s it until July when it will hopefully be much warmer out than it is today. Now I just need to get through the rest of the day. Since I have now been given the go ahead to work from home on Tuesdays in addition to Fridays, and since Monday is a holiday, I won’t have to be in the office again until next Wednesday (which is another stupid meeting day). So basically, I’ll be in sweat pants and flannel bathrobe from about 3:30 this afternoon until 7:45 next Wednesday morning. I can probably get away with doing laundry about once every three weeks now.

I see all the southern states are up in arms (so to speak) over Obama’s gun control executive orders. It appears that people like Rand Paul and the governor of Mississippi don’t think they need to follow any federal laws they don’t like. I believe they are mistaken in this assumption.

But while I was reading about their whining (and about the Texas AG taking out ads encouraging gun-totin’ NYers to come on down to Texas), it occurred to me that I’d like to see a new law passed.

Basically, it should say that no state may receive more federal funding than it pays in federal taxes. I suppose you could make an exception for disaster relief or something (maybe average it out over a period of years). Rather than cutting off funds (which would probably just screw over the poor folks – goodness knows they’d cut social programs before they’d cut corporate welfare), they should come up with some sort of a levy to be raised by increasing taxes on anybody living in that state making over, oh, I dunno, say a million dollars a year. Whatever the rate needs to be to pay off the bill, that’s what it should be. This would make the budget pork “revenue neutral,” which is something all the cool Republican kids are into.

Oh well, time to get back to work. Pretty soon it’ll be lunchtime. I kinda hate to get my teeth dirty.

I really don’t like Wednesdays. They’ve always been the kind of day you just want to get over so that you can get to Thursday, which isn’t Friday but it’s the next best thing. And Wednesdays are the days where I have to work until 5:00, which really sucks. It gives me more time in the morning, of course, but I don’t really need more time. I’m out of bed no later than 4:45 (I’d get up earlier, but I have the water heater set to come on a 4:30, so I just lay around waiting for the water to get hot enough to take a shower), and am generally out the door by 6:10. Except on Wednesdays, when I don’t have to leave until about 7:50 or so. By 6:45 I’m kind of sitting around trying to figure out what to do. No way do I want to go to work – it’s a long enough day as it is.

Thursday is normally not too bad of a day, but tomorrow I start the day at the dentist. It’s only for cleaning and an inspection, but it’s still not something I’m exactly looking forward to. Hopefully he won’t manage to find something to work on (you know those dentists – always looking for a project).

When I got home yesterday, I found that our troublemaker problem child, Bud, had decided to celebrate my dad’s (who Bud is named after) birthday by knocking one of the model wooden ships my dad built (the USS Constitution, in fact) down and chewing it up. He broke all the masts and the rigging. This is not something I could possibly ever repair, so that’s that. I guess it’ll just sit around looking shipwrecked until I croak, and then somebody can come along and throw all my shit away.

Oh well, time to get back to work. Only three more hours to kill.

Seante Majority Leader Harry Reid says a federal assault weapons ban is (probably) doomed, because there’s no way it’ll pass in the House. I suppose that’s true. I mean, what’s a measly 20 or so six year old kids compared to the profits on selling high powered firearms with high-capacity magazines? We can always make more kids, but money? That’s a precious commodity.

In New York, however, things are different. It’s not often I get to feel proud of our incredibly dysfunctional government here in NY (gay marriage being about the only other time I can recall in recent history), but the Republican (sorta – it’s a long story) controlled NY State Senate overwhelmingly (43-18) approved a set of gun control laws that are said to be the toughest in the country. Since the NY State Assembly is run by Democrats, and since Andy Cuomo wants to run for preznit in 2016, final passage is a done deal.

The bill is designed “to basically eradicate assault weapons from our streets in New York as quickly as possible is something the people of this state want and it’s an important thing to do. It is an emergency,” Assembly Speaker Sheldon Silver told WCBS-TV. “We are going to ban assault weapons. We are going to eliminate all of the loopholes that existed previously.”

Under current state law, assault weapons are defined by having two “military rifle” features spelled out in the law. The proposal would reduce that to one feature and include the popular pistol grip.

Private sales of assault weapons to someone other than an immediate family member would be subject to a background check through a dealer. Also, Internet sales of assault weapons would be banned, and failing to safely store a weapon could be subject to a misdemeanor charge.

Ammunition magazines would be restricted to seven bullets, from the current 10, and current owners of higher-capacity magazines would have a year to sell them out of state. An owner caught at home with eight or more bullets in a magazine could face a misdemeanor charge.

In another provision, a therapist who believes a mental health patient made a credible threat to use a gun illegally would be required to report the incident to a mental health director who would have to report serious threats to the state Department of Criminal Justice Services. A patient’s gun could be taken from him or her.

The legislation also increases sentences for gun crimes, including the shooting of a first responder that Cuomo called the “Webster provision.” Last month in the western New York town of Webster, two firefighters were killed after responding to a fire set by the shooter, who eventually killed himself./em>

I don’t know how much good this will do. If you can still buy whatever weapons you want in PA or OH or wherever, it isn’t all that hard to bring them into NY. But hopefully it will help some, and it’s always nice when NY can actually be the first at something (we’re still trying to live down the shame from abstaining from the vote to declare independence from the British).

Of course the really big news is that Lance Armstrong “confessed” to Oprah about his doping. I’m not sure why I’m supposed to care about this, but I’ll try.

But not right now, ‘cuz I’ve got to get back to work.