To those of you who celebrate it (either by going to church, wearing stupid hats, or eviscerating chocolate bunny rabbits), Happy Easter. The day doesn’t mean a whole to me, other than I have just realized that I miscalculated, and the place I normally go to for my weekly provisions (and gas) is closed today. Bummer. That means I either have to venture to an alternate location or try and stick it out this week living off my stockpile of quinoa. Otherwise, I guess I’ll just hang out. In an act of bravery, I took the plow off my tractor yesterday so we’d better not get too much snow from here on out. I still have the chains on, but they may need to come off too. The ground is still fairly hard (not hard enough to keep the dogs from digging up the leech field, unfortunately) so I don’t think I’ll start my fencing project this week (plus there’s still some snow on the ground in places where the sun has yet to get high enough to melt).

Speaking of dogs, yesterday was kind of a good news/bad news day as I took the kids in for their shots and a checkup. On the good news side, Peggy’s leg is doing well, and they are both in good shape all-around. On the bad news side, Bud is positive for Lyme disease. Apparently, when they test positive, they then do another test (which I guess has to go to a lab) to determine the level of Lyme shit (technical term) in the blood. If it’s above a certain level, they require 21 days of antibiotics. And he was a “strong” positive, so I reckon that will be the case. This also meant that Bud couldn’t get his shots yesterday. Bummer.

It appears that every Republican out there is (publicly, anyway) denouncing Don Young, representative from Alaska. Ostensibly, it’s because of his “wetbacks” remark (hey, he’s just being “folksy” – get over it), but I think it’s because he thinks tomatoes are grown on ranches. Here in “real” American, we call them farms, Don. Or gardens.

OK, so I found this place in Arkansas that calls itself Wynn’s Tomato Ranch, but even in their description, they don’t call themselves a ranch – except in quotes to show how stupid it would be to think of a farm as a ranch.

WTR is a family farm built and worked by just the 6 of us Wynns. We are located in a historic valley near the Battle of Prairie Grove site. Once a “Viney Grove” for which it bears the name and then a heavy producer of tomatoes and strawberries in the early part of the 1900’s, is now home to our “ranch”.

OK, so Webster’s gives it a secondary meaning of “a farm or area devoted to a particular specialty,” so I suppose if you specialize in tomatoes, maybe you could call it a ranch. But I’m not buying it.

Apparently “traditional” Catholics are none too happy with this Jesuit Pope, so far. This washing of women’s feet is not sitting well with them (plus he doesn’t appear to wear all the fancy dresses that Joey Ratz was so fond of). Personally, I think it’s nice to see a priest display some interest in women – even if it’s only feet. He should hook up with Rex Ryan.

You probably heard that at least some soon-to-be Johns Hopkins Medical School graduates want to remove Ben Carson as commencement speaker because he compared same-sex marriage to pedophilia and on Fux News (this guy is a doctor, so my big problem with him is, how could a gay person – or somebody of reasonable intelligence, for that matter – possibly feel comfortable being treated by him). Well, this has Rush Limbaugh bummed, as he seems to be slowly realizing that the tide is turning against fat loudmouthed assholes.

“These are students where this guy works, and they don’t want him to be their commencement speaker because of his political beliefs as espoused on TV,” Limbaugh said, according to an official show transcript. “Medical students! Not social workers, medical students. To me that’s evidence that… I don’t know what it is. We’re losing the country or what have you.”

That’s right, Rush. It’s not a bunch of dirty stinking hippies, but future doctors! :omg: You may never get a pecker pill prescription in a fake name (let alone narcotics) again.

Otherwise, there’s not much else going on. Well, there is, but I won’t bore you with it (if you’ve ready this far, you’ve clearly been bored enough already).

I’m a little tuckered out this morning, but it’s definitely shaping up to be a good Friday, indeed.

So, after we flew a couple of B-2 bombers over South Korea, North Korea decided to point their rockets at us (or at least our bases in Hawaii, Guam, South Korea and Japan). That doesn’t seem very friendly.

I mean, we could probably do without Guam, but we get a lot of neat toys from Japan and South Korea (though I’m sure Apple wouldn’t mind if they dropped a few rockets on the Samsung factory). So, what’s next? Do we go back to war with Korea? I don’t think the Chinese would care for that. In fact, I would think that China is kinda pissed at these people for drawing so much attention to the region. You’d think they could just tell Li’l Kim to knock his shit off already. I mean, it’s just not good for business.

As you’ve no doubt heard, the GOP is trying to remake itself as a kinder, gentler, less stupid and arrogant party. As part of that, they’re trying to reach out to Latinos. That’s the word now, right? We don’t use Hispanics anymore? I can never keep track of these things, so I guess I’ll go with whatever enlightened Republicans are saying these days. Like Alaska Representative Don Young.

“My father had a ranch; we used to have 50-60 wetbacks to pick tomatoes,” he said while discussing economic trends of the last few decades. “It takes two people to pick the same tomatoes now. It’s all done by machine.”

Ah.

Now, I know what you’re thinking: they have tomato ranches in Alaska?

Not that I’m an expert, but I’ve never seen a tomato ranch (then again, I’ve never been to Alaska, either). I wonder if they have a problem with tomato rustlers up there, too?

Speaking of Republicans, our good friend Steve King of Iowa (where they have lots of corn ranches) is none too happy with the Obama kids going to spring break in the Bahamas. I’m not really sure why, though I guess it has something to do with Obama needing to practice a little “austerity” in this time of Republican-manufactured fiscal crisis. I have to agree. Michelle should just see if the girls can tag along with Rush Limbaugh on his next trip to the DR.

Oh well, time to get some work done (and by “get some work done” I mean read every sports section I can find online).

A Michelle Shocked song just came up on the old mp3 player, and I’m sitting here feeling guilty about enjoying listening to it. It’s a shame when people go insane. Speaking of insane, William Donohue (president of the Catholic League) has written to HBO’s parent company Time Warner saying that Bill Maher has just gone too goshdarn far being mean to the pope and that “[t]he time has come for someone in a position of responsibility to sit down and have a serious talk with this man.”

In a letter sent Tuesday to Glenn A. Britt, chairman of HBO’s parent company Time Warner, Donohue said that “Maher’s bigotry” must not go unpunished. Donohue attached a report titled “Bill Maher’s History of Anti-Catholicism, 1998-2013,” which documents 39 jokes made by the comedian that were directed at the Church.

“From the enclosed report, it is evident that Maher’s bigotry is not merely visceral, it is relentless,” Donohue wrote

I, for one am shocked. Shocked! Bill only directed 39 jokes at the Catholic Church in 15 years? That’s less than 3 jokes per year! Either Bill was slacking off, or Donohue has done some pretty sloppy research here.

It’s a darn shame that Bill’s off this week, ‘cuz I’d like to get his take on this (and on whether Donohue is the spawn of Karl Rove and an Orangutan).

I’m guessing that Donohue will be about as successful as that woman who wanted to get The Simpsons thrown off the air 20 years ago was.

Ah, now an acoustic medley from Bob Marley is up. Finally, music I don’t have to feel guilty about enjoying.

Don’t stay up too late tonight, kids. And if you don’t hear from me for a few days, you’ll know things didn’t go well.

OK, it’s actually Prop 8 day, but that doesn’t roll off the tongue as well. Anyhow, with DOMA and Prop 8 being very much in the news lately, I’ve heard a lot about the “LGBT” Community. But then I heard somebody refer to “LGBTQ” and I thought, “what the hell is the Q for. Quadrasexual? Turns out, the Q is for Queer. Really? Isn’t that a bit redundant? Are there Qs that aren’t covered by the LG (and possibly B) part? I mean, I have to admit, I always thought the L was kind of redundant, too. I thought that Ls were a subset of Gs (kind of how all squares are rectangles, but not all rectangles are square). But I could be wrong, since I don’t really pay all that much attention.

The smart money seems to be on SCOTUS ruling both DOMA and Prop 8 unconstitutional, which to me is a no-brainer. I mean, no matter what letter we are, we’re all just a subset of P – people. And if you have a law that applies to some people, it has to apply to all the people. I believe that’s known as the Equal Protection Clause of the 14th Amendment. While I’m glad that NY legalized gay same sex marriage, it doesn’t really seem like it should have been necessary. If a person can marry a person then it shouldn’t matter what gender (or color or ethnicity or height or whatever) either one of those persons happens to be. Duh. It seems pretty simple to me, but I’m not a great legal scholar like Fat Tony Scalia and Clarence the Clown Thomas.

Of course, the other big news is that the Italian Supreme Court (or whatever it is they call their highest court over there – La Corte Suprema or something) has ordered a retrial in the Amanda KNox murder case. Apparently over there they can just keep retrying you until they get the verdict they want. If I was her, I wouldn’t be planning a trip to Rome anytime soon (unless it’s Rome, NY). I find it hard to believe that the US would actually extradite her, but who knows? Maybe they can get her on armed robbery of sports memorabilia or something instead.

Oh, cool, a huge flock (actually, more like 20 huge flocks) of Snow Geese just flew over. Actually, I believe a flock of geese in flight is called a skein (on the ground, they’re a gaggle). Very impressive, and appropriate, since it’s snowing rather heavily at the moment. I think they may want to hold off on heading to Canada for a few more days.

While the rest of you terrorist-loving losers ignore the dangers that are out there in the world, the Tennessee Legislature is on the job. The were apparently horrified to learn that there was one of them “Mooslam foot-washin’ sinks” in a mens room at the Capitol building.

Hey, sure, it turned out to be a mop sink but still, it coulda been a Mooslam foot-washin’ sink.

Apparently these people have never had jobs that required them to mop floors.

Oh well, back to the grindstone.

I rolled over and looked at the clock at about 2:30 this morning, and when, after a minute or two, I realized it wasn’t Sunday, I literally felt sick to my stomach. That’s pretty bad. And if Paul Ryan has his way, I’ll have to keep doing this until I drop dead (or, worse, wind up rotting in some nursing home). Yes, these are the thoughts that fill my head on Mondays. Actually, it usually starts at about 3:00 on Sunday afternoon.

On the bright side, there’s a winter storm headed east, and once again it’s supposed to stay well to the south of us. Still, this winter just doesn’t want to give up. It’s supposed to get up to 40 or so today, which isn’t too bad. I’m not really looking forward to hot weather, but I would like to get my fencing done so the dogs can go out in the back yard.

I saw that John Roberts’ lesbian cousin scored tickets to the big SCOTUS “is banning gay marriage constitutional” thing. She’ll be attending with the woman she hopes to marry some day if cousin John and his buddies give her permission.

Sounds like a good idea for a modern family type sitcom. Conservative Supreme Court Chief Justice and his lesbian cousin and her partner spend weekends hanging out at the family camp in northern Virgina as pals Fat Tony Scalia, Clarence “Token” Thomas, former VP Dick Cheney, and Stewie from Family Guy stop by to do some “duck hunting” and the hilarity ensues.

Scalia plays the classic Archie Bunker crotchety old white guy, Cheney is constantly plotting world domination with Stewie, and Thomas is constantly coming on to Roberts’ cousin and asking if he can shoot video of her and her partner and “maybe get a three-way going.”

Oh well, time to get to work.

Yesterday was a day of frustration. First, after having dumped the ashes from my ash vac outside, I got locked outside after the sliding door latch managed to hook itself. The latch mechanism has been a pain in the ass for quite a while now (not wanting to lock when you want it to, and locking itself when you don’t). Fortunately, the wife was home or I’d have been out in the cold for who knows how long. So I pulled the latch out and looked at the Home Depot website, and they claimed to have latch mechanisms in stock that seemed to be pretty close to what I needed. Since I also needed some tubes for my shop lights (it’s getting a little dark down there) and a reducing bushing to get my spare sump pump ready to roll, I headed over there. Alas, the website lied and I was forced to order the part (and the guy says it’s gonna take two friggin’ weeks to get it). Plus, they didn’t have the bushing I needed. So I bought $40 worth of fluorescent light bulbs instead.

If you’ve ever tried to replace the tubes in a 4′ fluorescent ceiling fixture, you know what a pain in the ass it can be (especially if you’re old and your shoulders hurt all the time – that working over your head shit is a hassle). Especially when you’re really trying to not push something the wrong way and have the bulb explode in your face. But I managed to get the new tubes in, and there was blessed light. For about 5 minutes, and then the damn thing flickered a few times and stayed off.

So I tried another dead fixture. Same result (except for the part where it comes on even for a short time). OK, I decided, time to give up and work on project #3: rebuilding my pool pump motor. I got the motor and pump pulled apart, got the impeller off the shaft (which was more difficult than it should have been – especially working in less than ideal lighting conditions), and then proceeded to try and get the end bell off the motor. I tried tapping, beating, swearing, asking nicely, and beating some more. No dice. So I decided to give up on that one, too, lest I beat the thing so hard that I break something.

I decided to go do my weekly shopping instead (freeing up my morning this morning for vegetating in front of the computer, doing laundry, and re-reading the story about Florida Gulf Coast University kicking the crap out of Georgetown. Hoya Saxa (Latin for one-and-done)! As the saying goes around here, “it’s 10:44 AM, and Georgetown still sucks.”

I was reading this article on “mummy myths exposed” this morning. Apparently, it used to be thought that the rich folks had their organs removed via a slit through the belly, while the 99% were treated to cedar oil enemas, which dissolved everything. Turns out, everybody got the slit treatment, “although for the elites evisceration was sometimes performed through a slit through the anus.”

That’s a privilege? Well, let’s hope folks like Dick Cheney and Mitt Romney get the royal treatment when the time comes.

It’s just come to my attention that today is Palm Sunday. I think that means that Easter is close. Maybe next weekend, even? Easter in March – that’s fairly rare. I never remember how they figure that out (other than it’s 40 days after Mardi Gras or something). Turns out, it’s the first Sunday following the first full moon that occurs on or after the day of the vernal equinox. I think they should just go with April 7th or something.

I’m such a failed Catholic – I really ought to know that church trivia stuff. It may have been a long time ago, but I still went through the indoctrination process (even though I opted out at a pretty young age – never even made it to my Confirmation, which, if I weren’t already going to hell for a host of reason, would mean I’m going to hell). I mean, thinking about it, it occurs to me that I can’t actually remember the entire “Hail Mary” spell (and that was the easy one). And I certainly couldn’t get through an “Our Father.” And I never could remember the “Act of Contrition,” mostly because I was always a good boy (at least, I never admitted to much of anything in confession, and anyway I quit going before I was old enough to commit any juicy sins) and never got more than a few Hail Marys.

I did like burning the palm leaves, though.

Oh well, I guess it’s time to find some way to frustrate away the rest of the weekend.

I was watching a basketball game last night that was being played in San José. As they were showing a shot of the exterior of the arena, the announcer exclaimed, “we’re in the heart of Silicone Valley!” I thought that was pretty funny (though I think Silicone Valley is more like LA). Almost as funny as the local NPR guy, who for three mornings in a row has been touting an upcoming performance of the opera “Pagglyahchie.” Ha! What a clown. I keep thinking somebody will call in and tell him. Not so far.

Congratulations to the US Senate, which soundly defeated the “Ryan” budget plan that passed in the House. Republicans didn’t even want the vote to happen, no doubt because they knew it would fail (and in a “bipartisan” manner – 40-59). Now what? More of the same, no doubt. And Boehner is making noise about another government shutdown threat. These people are like incessant masturbators – they just can’t stop themselves.

Oh well, I suppose I’d better get some work done. TGIF.

Happy spring, everybody. OK, I know that was yesterday, and I’d intended to say something them, but I got kinda distracted by work and shit. Here, we celebrated the vernal equinox with a cold and windy day. And it’s pretty damn cold today, too. Yesterday was also the start of spring football practice, which is when we allow ourselves to be hopeful about the upcoming season. This year with an all-new (for the most part) coaching staff and lots of questions to answer regarding whose gonna fill our many empty spots (especially at QB, WR, and OL).

And of course what would March Madness be without a Syracuse “scandal.” This year, it came thanks to CBS Sports, which reported a vague rumor form an unnamed source that SU is under a “wide” NCAA investigation. How wide? Larry Craig stance-wide, that’s how wide. I don’t know when we became the Oakland Raiders of the NCAA, but nonetheless, there it is.

SU was placed in the East regional bracket, so naturally they’re playing their opening round game in San José. Yes, that makes perfect sense to me, too. What makes even more sense is that the two teams from the Pacific Time zone (Cal and UNLV) are playing at 4:30 PM PST, while Syracuse and Montana are playing in the second game, which won’t start until well after 7:00 PST. That means after 10:00 PM back here in the east. On a school night. Since I’m up by 4:30 AM, I don’t see any way possible for me to watch the game.

I mean, do you have any idea how much beer I’d have to drink just to stay up ’til tip-off? I’d be totally wrecked by the end of the game.

In other news, as Art mentioned yesterday it was quite nauseating to have to listen to the disgusting Richard Pearl justify the American disgrace that was the invasion and occupation of Iraq. All he did was regurgitate long-disproved talking points about how “everybody” thought Saddam had WMD, and how nobody said there was a direct link to 9/11, just that while we were reevaluating the risks to America in light of the attack that nobody could have foreseen, we realized Saddam needed to be knocked off. And of course he was allowed to prattle on with his bullshit uncontested by the interviewer.

This, NPR, is why I no longer send you any money.

Oh well, back to work.

I hope everybody survived the weekend and St. Patrick’s Day unscathed. No corned beef and cabbage for me (which isn’t actually Irish food anyway). I had leftover Brussels sprouts with hot sauce. Other than that, is was a pretty wasted day. All I did was read (I finished one book, read another, and started a third. That’s what happens when you get up at 4:00, I guess). I didn’t even do my weekly grocery shopping, though I did some laundry so it wasn’t a total waste, I guess.

Today it’s back to work, of course. And a cold goddamn morning at that. I actually got a fairly decent night’s sleep lat night, by my standards. I probably got five hours altogether, though no more than 3 in a row. I was feeling quite comfortable by the time I got up, and I really felt like staying in bed. Hopefully the day will go by quickly. We’re supposed to get some snow, ice, and freezing rain for the ride home tonight, so that should be fun.

Interesting story at the BBC News site. It seems that declassified tapes show that Nixon interfered with negotiations between Johnson and the North and South Vietnamese. It appears that they were all on the cusp of a deal that would have ending the bombing of North Vietnam and ending the war in 1968.

By the time of the election in November 1968, LBJ had evidence Nixon had sabotaged the Vietnam war peace talks – or, as he put it, that Nixon was guilty of treason and had “blood on his hands”.
[…]
Now, for the first time, the whole story can be told.

It begins in the summer of 1968. Nixon feared a breakthrough at the Paris Peace talks designed to find a negotiated settlement to the Vietnam war, and he knew this would derail his campaign.

He therefore set up a clandestine back-channel involving Anna Chennault, a senior campaign adviser.
[…]
In late October 1968 there were major concessions from Hanoi which promised to allow meaningful talks to get underway in Paris – concessions that would justify Johnson calling for a complete bombing halt of North Vietnam. This was exactly what Nixon feared.

The US delegation, left, and North Vietnamese delegation at Paris peace talks The Paris peace talks may have ended years earlier, if it had not been for Nixon’s subterfuge

Chennault was despatched to the South Vietnamese embassy with a clear message: the South Vietnamese government should withdraw from the talks, refuse to deal with Johnson, and if Nixon was elected, they would get a much better deal.

So on the eve of his planned announcement of a halt to the bombing, Johnson learned the South Vietnamese were pulling out.

He was also told why. The FBI had bugged the ambassador’s phone and a transcripts of Anna Chennault’s calls were sent to the White House. In one conversation she tells the ambassador to “just hang on through election”.

And this was all after Johnson said he wasn’t running again.

It was 50 years ago today that the Supreme Court – in a unanimous decision that would, I think, be impossible today – declared that states are obliged to provide defendants with “the guiding hand of counsel” to ensure a fair trial for the accused in Gideon v. Wainwright (in other words, if you’ve got no money, you’re still entitled to legal representation). I’m not a lawyer, so my knowledge of this decision comes from the teevee movie “Gideon’s Trumpet” starring Henry Fonda as Clarence Earl Gideon, José Ferrer as Abe Fortas, and John Houseman as Earl Warren.

What has always astounded me was that if you’re not actually destitute and are accused of a crime you didn’t commit, you’re not entitled to a public defender. Maybe you wouldn’t want one (they tend to be so overworked that “see and plea” is their primary strategy), but it still seems unfair that even if you didn’t do anything wrong, you’re still on the hook for what can be a helluva lot of money for a lawyer.

Oh well, time to get back to work.

After listening for the entire morning about CPAC, I have one question: can we go back to hearing about the Pope? Seriously, these people make me want to puke. Especially the “young conservatives,” who seem to think that us old “wealthy” folks are stealing their money in taxes. Well boo-fucking-hoo you miserable greedy little bastards.

You didn’t mind stealing my money for your public school education. And if you went to college, I bet you stole some of my money in grants and low-interest loans (that you’ll probably blow off paying back, you snotty little creeps).

I’ll bet you “stole” plenty of my money that went to paying for the roads you drive on and the parks you hung out it in, and the public transportation you rode in, and every other damn thing you ever got in your short little lives.

You’ve been in the workforce for what? A couple years (assuming you’re not unemployed and living in mommy’s basement), maybe? Come cry to me when you’ve been out there for 40 years or so paying for both past and future generations and finally managing to get a little bit for yourself and your family only to have a bunch of snotballs want to take away your retirement.

Just remember this: if I can’t retire, then there’s no job for you to take over.

Better practice saying this, “thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart.”

Now get off my lawn.