For those of us up here in the Northern Hemisphere, winter arrives at 12:11 PM EST. As such, this is the shortest day of the year. Thank goodness we’ll start gaining sunlight tomorrow, though it always seems to me that it takes a lot longer for it to stay light out noticeably later than it takes for it to start getting darker earlier. But at least we’ll soon turn the corner.
It seems more like spring than winter here, though. It’s already 55° out, and it’s supposed to hit 58° tomorrow. What was a foot of snow on the ground a couple of days ago is now almost totally melted. Not to worry, though, the cold and snow are supposed to be back on Monday.
So, I reckon everybody’s heard about the Duck Dynasty Dude. I’ve never seen the show, though I’ve heard of it because there are some things in life you just can’t ignore no matter how hard you try (see “Cyrus, Miley”) unless you’re totally off the grid. I’m more of a “Billy the Exterminator” fan, myself. Anyhow, from what I can tell this is some kind of a wildly popular show about hillbillies in Louisiana that kill ducks or make shit to kill ducks with or something. I can’t possibly imagine where the entertainment value is in that, but as I said I’ve never seen it so who am I to judge?
Apparently one of these ZZ Top wannabees was interviewed by GQ (which I think used to stand for “Gentleman’s Quarterly” but I reckon must stand for something else if they’ve gotten themselves into the hillbilly interviewin’ bidness) and was asked what he thought was “sinful.”
“Start with homosexual behavior and just morph out from there. Bestiality, sleeping around with this woman and that woman and that woman and those men.
It seems like, to me, a vagina—as a man—would be more desirable than a man’s anus. That’s just me. I’m just thinking: There’s more there! She’s got more to offer. I mean, come on, dudes! You know what I’m saying? But hey, sin: It’s not logical, my man. It’s just not logical.”
OK, well, whatever. Probably didn’t need to elaborate on the “vagina as a man” stuff (for some reason when I read that phrase, all I could think of was a vagina disguised as Fidel Castro or something – must be because of all that 1980s porn I used to run as a projectionist). Ignorant, redneck, bible-thumpin’ bullshit, yes. But – as many others have pointed out – when you have a show about a bunch of duck-murdering hillbillies, don’t be surprised when they act like duck-murdering hillbillies. Yeah, he sort of conflates homosexuality with bestiality, but to be fair he also conflates it with adultery (or at least promiscuity).
And, hey, he may be white trash but at least he’s not racist.
Phil On Growing Up in Pre-Civil-Rights-Era Louisiana“I never, with my eyes, saw the mistreatment of any black person. Not once. Where we lived was all farmers. The blacks worked for the farmers. I hoed cotton with them. I’m with the blacks, because we’re white trash. We’re going across the field…. They’re singing and happy. I never heard one of them, one black person, say, ‘I tell you what: These doggone white people’—not a word!… Pre-entitlement, pre-welfare, you say: Were they happy? They were godly; they were happy; no one was singing the blues.â€
Yes’m, back in the olden days before all that civil rights nonsense, them black folks were just a-singin’ and a-laughin’ all the live-long day. And nary a one ever said a bad word about white folks, neither (at least, not when there were white folks around, ‘less they wanted to find themselves swingin’ from the old oak tree).
I hate to disagree with ya though, Phil, but I’ve got some old-time records, and you know what? There were definitely some black folks singing the blues back then.
I think they learnt it from Elvis.