We were graced by the presence of Governor Andy yesterday as he arrived to officially open the NY State Fair on “Governor’s Day.” Since NY Governor’s typically come from south of the 42nd parallel (what we up here refer to as “Downstate”), I generally get the sense that they’re somewhere between bemused and annoyed at having to come up here to the provinces and pretend to think we’re not a bunch of redneck hicks (when Ed Koch ran for Governor in 1982, he remarked to Playboy Magazine that if you live up here, you’re “…wasting time in a pickup truck when you have to drive 20 miles to buy a gingham dress or a Sears Roebuck suit…. This rural America thing — I’m telling you, it’s a joke.” Unfortunately for Ed, one of his staffers subsequently showed him a map of NY that didn’t come from the cover of the New Yorker Magazine and he realized that to be the Guv, you gotta get the votes of at least a few of us losers up here). They’re expected to choke down one of our famous sausage sandwiches, eat some Dinosaur Barbeque, and feign interest in the livestock (“that’s a cow, right? I think they had those last year, too.”).
Of course this is also an election year, so Andy’s challengers were all in town as well, including some Republican from Westchester who was here for the first time (because, like, why would he have ever come up here before?) and said his sausage sandwich had “a kick to it.”
Hah! The real “kick” from those things comes about an hour after you eat one.
As an indicator of how much chance this Republican has of winning here in NY, I will only say that the story in the lo-cal newspaper about his visit referred to him as Rob “Astorino,” “Astorin,” and “Astorinio” – all in the same story.
Also in town were Andy’s Democratic Primary challengers – Randy Credico and my personal favorite, Zephyr Teachout (and her middle name is ‘Rain’). Zephyr is a Forham Law PRofessor, but we aren’t holding that against her because she grew up on a farm in Vermont, and I must say she looked quite comfortable around the critters at the Fair (no sausage sandwich, but she got a rack of BBQ ribs and any chick willing to eat ribs in front of the cameras is OK in my book).
If anybody ever wanted to shoot video of me eating ribs, I’d have to let them know beforehand that was not gonna be a pretty sight.
This is the first time in many years that I regret not being a registered Democrat, because I’d really like to vote for Zephyr.
One fella who didn’t have to travel far was our own transplanted San Franciscan, Teamster, and perpetual Green Party candidate for, well, you name it and I think he’s had a run for it, Howie Hawkins.
Governor Snotball arrived early in the day, bringing with him about four inches of rain and lots of thunder and lightning. After that, things cleared up and got pretty nice (though rather humid, what with the sun boiling off all that precipitation). At least, that’s what I heard. I wouldn’t know, ‘cuz I was stuck inside my windowless office all day.
Speaking of which, I guess I better get ready to head back there today and get this really long week (five whole days, and all of them in the office – I’m really not used to this).
For those of you who are still here, have a good Friday and an even better weekend.