About a year ago, I got a notice from the Town to renew the dog license for Siggy, who (as some of you may recall) unfortunately died back in 2012. So I checked the box for “deceased” and mailed it back in, only to get a second notice a few weeks later. This time, I called the Town Clerk’s office (they’re always very nice) and told them that I had sent the first notice back and that Siggy was no longer with us. You’d have thought that would be that, but no.

A couple months later, I got a rather threatening form letter from Jim, the Dog Control Dude (DCD), saying that if I didn’t cough up the money for the license (and provide proof of an updated rabies vaccination), I might have to go to court.

I had visions of having to waste an evening sitting in court with Siggy’s collar, ashes, and certificate of cremation (they don’t give you death certificate for a dog – at least, not around here) in order to prove that, yes, Siggy was dead. In fact, if it didn’t make me sad to think about him, I’d have even considered doing a version of Monty Pythons’ “Dead Parrot” sketch for the just, indicating that poor Siggy “is no more, has ceased to be”, and is bereft of life.” Instead, I called the Dog Control Office, got voicemail and left a rather stern message. I followed that up the next day and spoke to Jim, the DCD explaining that Siggy was dead and I really didn’t want to have to go to Night Court over this.

Jim, of course, was pleasant, the threats ended, and once again I thought that was that about that. Until last week, when I got yet another license renewal notice for Siggy, with the year+ expiration date highlighted in yellow.

So I once again filled out the form, marked Siggy as deceased, highlighted that portion in orange, and added a letter explaining what I’d been through last year, indicating that Siggy was, sadly, still dead, and that I would gladly pay the six bucks if it would bring him back but as that seemed rather unlikely, I’d appreciate it if they could take him out of whatever system(s) he’s in so that I didn’t have to get an annual reminder of the fact that he’s no longer with us.

Hopefully this will be the end of this nonsense, though I’m not getting my hopes up.