10 years ago today, the first post went up here. When you’re a kid, you the old people talk about how fast time passes as you get older, but you don’t really get it until you get older yourself. Then one day turns into another, seasons fly by, and all of a sudden a decade is gone. Back in 2005, MySpace was the big thing (“The Facebook” wasn’t even open to the public yet), YouTube had only been founded in February (hadn’t been bought by Google yet), and there was no such thing as Twitter.

So blogs were a place where people could share their thoughts and like-minded people (and their trolls) could form communities. You wouldn’t know it now, but this was a pretty active place for quite a few years. But eventually people migrated to places like Facebook (the ones that didn’t die or forget their passwords and insist they’d been “banned”) and only the most stubborn people are left. I know I’ve had a hard time thinking of shit to say (I just don’t have the energy to express my righteous indignation anymore).

I used to try and put something up every day (I used to write shit the night before and set it to post at 5:00 AM Eastern), but now it’s not unusual to go a couple of weeks or more. All part of that whole time flying by thing, I guess.

And now Thanksgiving’s over and Christmas will be here before you know it. I wonder ho fast the next 10 years will go.

Happy T-Day everybody. Whether you’re heading out to visit friends and family, out at the mall being crushed by bargain-seeking good little American consumer-citizens, or just having a quite day at home watching shitty football games, I hope you have a nice day. I just hope in a year from now, we’re not talking about President-Elect Trump. Or Carson. Or Rubio. Or Cruz. Or….

Like most of you, and all good Republicans, I was both saddened and outraged to hear that Paris Hilton was attacked last weekend thanks to President Wimpypants’ woefully inadequate protection of American broads. So I was greatly relieved when I realized that it was not Paris Hilton, but Paris, France that was attacked, and while it was actually Americans abroad that were in danger, only one of them (and Donald Trump’s deportation storm trooper force would have probably sent her back to Mexico anyway) was killed.

Since no self-respecting conservative Republican gives two whits for those cheese-eating surrender monkeys over there, I guess Obama is off the hook once again, because….

Wait, what’s this? Republicans are outraged over this? I don’t understand. I mean, I know they’re good at being outraged, but I had no idea they cared so deeply about France. You’d almost think they were politicizing a tragic event. How unusual. Maybe they’ll even go back to serving “French” fries at the House cafeteria again.

As the week went on, of course, we found that not only are Republicans suddenly now Francophiles (except, presumably, for their healthcare system, their 35-hour work week – which, by the way, they can volunteer to work up to 39-hour weeks to earn up to 22 days off above and beyond the 5 weeks they get by law, and their ridiculous coddling of women with newborn babies), but they seem to be terrified of Syrian refugees (or, as President Obama refers to them – “women and orphans”).

I guess it’s no surprise they don’t like women, and any child past the fetal stage is on his or her own. Let them pull themselves up by their own bootstraps the way Donald Trump and Mitt Romney did.

The best argument for keeping out Syrian refugees came from Texas (no surprise) state legislator Tony Dale (R – also no surprise): it’s just too goddamn easy to buy guns in his state.

This flap over allowing refugees into the country is a prime example of the hypocrisy of modern day Christian-America. Especially when you consider they’re trying to prevent folks from Jesus’ neck of the woods from moving into their neighborhoods.

Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame,
With conquering limbs astride from land to land;
Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand
A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame
Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name
Mother of Exiles. From her beacon-hand
Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command
The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame.
“Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp!” cries she
With silent lips. “Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”

Just kidding.

I overcame sever apathy this morning and stopped by the good old firehouse to do my civic duty (really seems more like civic masturbation) and cast my ballot – which promptly caused a paper jam. I hope that’s not a sign of things to come.

It actually took me longer to vote this year than it normally does, because of the 16 offices up for grabs, more than half (nine, to be exact) had no opposition. As I refuse to vote for anybody running unopposed, I had to spend time writing people in (mostly my wife, though I did put myself in for Highway Superintendent, ‘cuz I think it’d be cool to be able to borrow a plow to do my driveway – not to mention being able to stop by and fill up my diesel cans anytime I want).

I have to profess ignorance even when it comes to the people I actually did wind up voting for. I knew nothing about them, so I voted for anybody that wasn’t an incumbent. Fuck ’em – what have they ever done for me, anyway? The fact that they’re all Republicans only made voting against them that much more satisfying.

Of course, they’re all gonna win anyway.

I hate to complain about our Russian-style elections (Candidate A or Candidate A – choose either one, Comrade) when I’m not exactly out there running myself, so who am I to talk? I really have no idea why people run for these things anyway. I suppose there’s the odd duck who actually wants to server the public, but my guess is that the vast majority are in it for themselves.

No necessarily for graft or to get personal use of DPW equipment. Maybe they wanted a stop sign on their corner or they want me to pay for a field turf football stadium or something. I don’t know – I’m just guessing what with people being humans and all, their intentions aren’t entirely pure or altruistic.

And if they are, I’m confident all that will be purged from them fairly quickly.

But, whatever. I’ve done both my duties this week – cast my ballot and returned my juror questionnaire. Now I await my reward.

Assuming they ever un-jam my ballot from the machine.