I overcame sever apathy this morning and stopped by the good old firehouse to do my civic duty (really seems more like civic masturbation) and cast my ballot – which promptly caused a paper jam. I hope that’s not a sign of things to come.

It actually took me longer to vote this year than it normally does, because of the 16 offices up for grabs, more than half (nine, to be exact) had no opposition. As I refuse to vote for anybody running unopposed, I had to spend time writing people in (mostly my wife, though I did put myself in for Highway Superintendent, ‘cuz I think it’d be cool to be able to borrow a plow to do my driveway – not to mention being able to stop by and fill up my diesel cans anytime I want).

I have to profess ignorance even when it comes to the people I actually did wind up voting for. I knew nothing about them, so I voted for anybody that wasn’t an incumbent. Fuck ’em – what have they ever done for me, anyway? The fact that they’re all Republicans only made voting against them that much more satisfying.

Of course, they’re all gonna win anyway.

I hate to complain about our Russian-style elections (Candidate A or Candidate A – choose either one, Comrade) when I’m not exactly out there running myself, so who am I to talk? I really have no idea why people run for these things anyway. I suppose there’s the odd duck who actually wants to server the public, but my guess is that the vast majority are in it for themselves.

No necessarily for graft or to get personal use of DPW equipment. Maybe they wanted a stop sign on their corner or they want me to pay for a field turf football stadium or something. I don’t know – I’m just guessing what with people being humans and all, their intentions aren’t entirely pure or altruistic.

And if they are, I’m confident all that will be purged from them fairly quickly.

But, whatever. I’ve done both my duties this week – cast my ballot and returned my juror questionnaire. Now I await my reward.

Assuming they ever un-jam my ballot from the machine.