Well, shit, I was kind of thinking that we were in mid September and today I realize it’s October first. Bummer. That means I have a big day in store for me today. What with September only having 30 days, it means I have to set the date on my watch ahead a day. In fact, I have two watches, so I have to do it twice. I should also cut the grass, but it’s kind of cold and damp so I may not get around to that today (plus I have to watch SU lose to Notre Dame at noon, so that kind of kills the whole day). Maybe tomorrow, but the weather doesn’t look any better then, either. Plus I really need to get the pool closed up. I don’t think I have the energy for that, though.
It would be nice if weekends didn’t come with the pressure to try and get things done. Laundry, shopping, cooking, and then with paltry few things I try to do around the house. I have some huge cracks in my driveway that I really out to fill in with goop before winter gets here. It’s not a permanent fix, of course, but it’ll hopefully help to hold it together for another winter. And winter could start around here at just about any time now. We could have a green Christmas, or it could start snowing before Halloween and not stop until Mother’s Day. You just never know. What I do know is I’m not looking forward to it. Especially this taking the bus stuff.
The bus in the morning is usually more or less on time, but in the afternoon it almost never is. Of course, you still have to be there waiting just in case it shows up when it’s supposed to. In the warm weather, that’s OK. I get to sit at a picnic table under some trees by the Everson Museum of Art. There’s a fountain there, and sometimes they set up speakers and crank out the blues – plus it’s one of the few places that don’t have “NO SKATEBOARDING!!” signs, so I get to watch the kids doing all kinds of things that would certainly put me in the hospital (if not the morgue). So it’s kinda nice to sit there on a warm sunny day, even if the bus is late.
But the past few days have been windy, cold and damp, so it hasn’t been exactly pleasant. And all I can think about is how it’s gonna feel when it’s 10 degrees with a forty mile an hour wind driving ice pellets into my face. Should be great.
I’ve also been watching a band-aid that’s stuck to the sidewalk. It’s been there for at least a couple of weeks now through all kinds of weather and I can’t help but be impressed with the adhesive on it. I don’t know what brand it is (I guess technically “band-aid” is a brand, but it’s kinda like Kleenex or Q-Tips), but if I did I’d buy some. I’m lucky if I can keep a band-aid stuck to my finger for a couple of hours, let alone weeks.
Yesterday at work I heard that somebody had their Halloween decoration scarecrow confiscated because it didn’t conform to our cubicle regulations.It seems they’re trying to make our office climate as uncomfortable as possible. For instance, apparently the important people who have individual offices were apparently a bit too warm so now those of us in the cube farm are freezing. These are the same people that got to select special chairs that presumably don’t cripple their backs while the serfs had to get shitty chairs, even if we already had chairs we were content with.
Personally, I have nothing in my cube. No pictures, no decorations, nothing. If they want me to lead a sterile little Dilbert life, so be it. Between the cubes and riding the bus, I feel like a right little drone. And with no beer to look forward to at the end of the day.
Not that I’m complaining, of course. Just counting down the days (2,341) until I can retire – unless President Trump fucks up my Social Security.
Oh well, almost time to get ready for a Costco run.
Normally I wouldn’t even consider watching Press the Meat (especially with Chuck Todd), but Chuckie’s gonna have Michael Moore on today, so it might be entertaining. Just be careful if you watch, ‘cuz you might be subjected to Judy Ruliani (he and Bernie Sanders seem to be making the rounds today).
I am confused. (Not exactyl a revelation, I know) But, how can an obviously ignorant, braggert, tax cheating, tax break abusing, crazy person be so close to being president. He has done what I thought was impossible: made Reagan and W look smarter than he is. And yet he has many millions of supporters. Republicans have always made me want to hide under the bed. Now I feel as if I need a safe room.
I can only shake my head, too.
How Trump Became Our Conspiracy Theorist in Chief
He hasn’t just resurrected the paranoid style of American politics—he’s made it go mainstream.
I was thinking about this whole death conversation we’ve been having off and on as we’re aging. I can only take out that piece of grief a little at a time. It is too painful still to think hard on it or feel it in its entirety. I’m beginning to think that “dealing with it” means getting accustomed to living in a state of denial. Periodically the wall comes down a smidge, but then it has to go up again. Know what I mean?
Yeah, I sure do. The only way I can get through the day is to just close things off in a mental box somewhere and not think about them. One of my problems is that I’ve always been good at seeing the future. Oh, not in any sort of useful, knowing the winning lottery numbers kind of way, but in intuiting the way things are going to turn out. And no matter what, things pretty much all turn out the same way in the end. The only way to deal with it is to not think about it – or at least think about it as little as possible.
I went to see a grief counselor yesterday. She was interviewing me before I participate in 12 week group grief counseling She told me the first session is very hard to take and participants often quit after it. Tomorrow is the first session.
Oh boy. I hope it goes well, sp.
Good luck, Sue. I hope it helps. After my father died, my mom went to a bunch of “Hope for the Bereaved” meetings. She made me go to the first one. It seemed to help her to be around other people (she was a people person – me, not so much).
Good news, bad news I guess.
Tonight I am seeing god works in mysterious ways.
Well that would explain alot. Does “eliminated” mean Trump withdraws or???
Me thinks more recordings are going to surface this October. Trump keeps equating himself with Bill Clinton. But Clinton’s was impeached and suspended from practicing law etc. Bill was punished so what is Trump’s punishment?
Ah, simpler times!
Ironically, Pussy Galore was the only foreign leader Gary Johnson was able to name.
I went to the first meeting of the bereavement group on Thurday and, while I finally found it, my GPS directed me sown a narrow dirt road where some branches scratched the car…something else I’m going to have to deal with. The group of 12 consisted of 3 women and 9 men. Surprising to me. All went pretty well ’til the end when the facilitator directed us to go home and have a conversation with the deceased, telling us they they would hear and offer advice. I talk to Mikey all the time. Unfortunately he doesn’t answer. I’ve heard all the stories of people who are visited by their deceased loved ones and I would surely welcome a visit. I’m willing to suspend my disbelief, but no conversations have occured. But, just as we were getting ready to leave she asked me, and no one else, how I felt about the assignment. (I assume the woman who interviewed me and asked about my religious belief noted that i’m an atheist. ) I told her that I had just scratched up his car and thought he would not be very pleased with me and left. But, it made me uncomfortable. If she wants to know how I feel she should ask when I have an opportunity to be honest and thoughtful. I did not come there to validate her beliefs or mine for that matter. Fortunately (I hope) there is a new group that will meet at 3 PM. A much easier time for me and I am going to join it.
I hope the other one works out better. It is probably good you got to this after just one meeting before you got too ‘invested’ in it.
Good luck!
Ugh, people who smugly feel they have a superior power because of their belief system. The closest I’ve come to a “visit” is the occassional dream I have with my mom in it. She’s healthy and not in pain and I feel like we’ve had a visit after I’ve awaken. It’s nice to have old memories of her surface. I’m happy there’s another meeting for you to try.
A few weeks after my dad died, I had a dream where he told me everything was OK and not to worry or feel bad. He seemed very well and happy (and he hadn’t really been well for a while before he died). Even though I don’t actually believe in that sort of thing (though I’d be more than happy to find out I’m wrong), it felt very real to me and made me feel much better.
As for Trump: he’s the same creepy jerk he’s always been. The Repubs are acting as if his latest tape is unexpected and more despicable than all his other misogyny, homophobia, war mongering, racial and ethnic prejudice and lying. As the saying goes, “Lie down with dogs and get up with fleas.” (I apologize to dogs.) What did they expect? I’m not shocked.
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CuRAcRWXYAA2VEH.jpg
Had trouble with the pict…
If you mean why didn’t it post, when you click on that portrait thing aroun the middle, in sert the image location link and insert the link. On the left you will see a place for size. If you make it 400-450 W, the height will be adjusted in proportion and then you can post.
Thanks, I’ll work on the resizing thing!
I dream of Mikey. I don’t remember the dreams but I wake up thinking he’s here. Then I have to remind myself that he is not. I think that’s the reason I have more difficulty getting through the days than the nights. But, I am feeling better. Not fine but definitely better.
My heart goes out to you Sue. I just can’t imagine. I’m glad you’re doing better. I sincerely wish we weren’t just ether friends. XXoooo
Okat, your cyber friendship, as well as that of PJ, Vern and RG has done more to help me get through this awfulness than I can find words to tell you. I am very grateful that I can wrie about all this here. So, here goes:
I dreamed about Mike last night and remembered at least some of it. We were someplace where there were cats in need of homes and Mike insisted we adopt one. As we got near home I began to worry about integrating a grown cat with my 3 and Lola. Clifford decided to walk on me at that moment and I woke up. I realized it was a dream and I didn’t have to remind myself that he was not here. I guess that’s progress.
Have you tried the 3 PM show yet?
Oops – didn’t mean “show.” Yikers. Meant meeting.
Happy Birthday, Ed Wood.
Maybe the good lord will see fit to rattle the Earth a bit at that time.
Apologies to our Giants fans out there.
? ??
I’m baseball indifferent, but I love Bob Newhart.
I never have big expectations and just guarded hope. I don’t wish Bob ill but for now I cast my jinx on Dusty, a truly nice man who deserves a managerial World Series ring or at least advancing past the dodgers to the NLCS. I do think the Cubs may finally slip the curse.
It would also be nice to see Cleveland make it to the World Series.
ABDD = Anyone But the Dreaded Dodgers
YEAH! The World Series should only have ONE national anthem, dammit.
As a native Brooklynite I was always a Dodgers fan. They hired the great Jackie Robinson while the Yankees refused to integrate their team. Broooklynites were Dodgers fans even though when they kept losing. The World Series game they won and took the pennant was broadcas over the school loud speakers…no school work that day. Then they moved to LA and no one I know has ever forgiven them.
And at the same time the Giants moved to San Francisco, too.
I think Brooklyn may have taken it harder. I think a lot of Giants fans kept up their loyalty. It sucks losing your team.
See there! Another reason to not like the Dodgers! (I’m ignoring PJ below).
You know what sucks about taking the bus? It’s 81 degrees and sunny out (probably the last time we’ll see that this year), my boss is gone, I’m clearly not about to do anything else at work today, and yet I can’t leave ‘cuz the bus won’t be here for close to another hour.
I agree. I hate the subway because I can’t stand being packed like a sardine with nothing to hold on to and all too often a Donald Grope type nearby. I hate the bus becuase although the bus has regular stops it only stops to let someone on or off. Therefore I have to be able to see out the window so I know when my stop comes up and then I have to be able to get to the bell cord, located over the windows, to pull it. I lived in a city where many people don’t even own cars. But, I drove everywhere. And, yes, parking was a pain.